Scene “Switching Places”
Details: washing machine (made of cardboard), sofa, blanket.
Characters:
- Husband
- Wife
The wife enters the house, taking off her jacket along the way and throwing it on the floor.
Wife : Honey, I'm home!
The husband goes to the meeting. He is wearing a work apron and rubs his hands on it.
Husband : Oh, hi, honey.
Wife : How will you please me? (sniffs) Oh, I smell something like work. How will you please your wife? A nailed shelf in a cabinet? (smiles)
Husband (confused): Sorry, dear, I got wrapped up and didn’t have time...
Wife (with annoyance): Why didn’t you have time?! I come home from work, where I sat all day, tired...Oh, you didn’t nail down the shelf?!
Husband (offended): And now why shout about this? I don't sit idle either!
Wife (angry): Aren't you sitting idle?? What were you doing to make you so tired?! Did you hang out in the garage all day with your friends again? Did you run at the stadium? Have you repaired your motorcycles?
Husband (with great resentment): Well, you want me to be courageous! I’m trying just for you! Oh, you don’t value anything! Have you even noticed how pumped my legs have become? That my bitsukha has become bigger? You don't notice anything!
Wife (barely containing her anger): This is certainly wonderful, my dear! But, you understand: I am a healthy young woman who needs a normal wardrobe for clothes. I come home from work, thinking that a refurbished closet is waiting for me here, and what do I get? A broken shelf and faded hopes!
Husband (sits on a chair, turning away from his wife, sobs): If she’s so smart, then take it yourself and beat her.
Wife : Oh, why do I need you?? I thought - I’ll get married and I’ll have: shelves nailed down, furniture renovated, sockets screwed in... And what’s the end result? How many times during this time did you attend to your duties? My father was right that you are a useless boss!
Husband (barely holding back tears): So live with your father, since you’re so smart!
The wife walks by and freezes, looking at the washing machine.
The husband jumps up from his chair and tries to cover the typewriter with himself.
Husband : I’ll explain everything to you now...
Wife (tensely): What's wrong with my washing machine? ...
Husband : Honey, don’t be nervous! I tried to wash my socks, tried to remember everything you taught me... These buttons... levers... start - release...
Wife (in a threatening tone): WHAT. WITH MY. WASHING. WITH A CAR?! (tries to push husband away)
Husband : Yes, don’t shout, you do! Your car is more valuable to you than me! I just pressed the wrong button and it jammed!
Wife (angrily): Move away!
The husband leaves. The wife presses the buttons excitedly.
Wife (turns affectionately to the washing machine): Go to your mommy! Now, I will fix you, my swallow! (excitedly presses buttons and mutters angrily) How many times have I said: “If you don’t know, don’t interfere!” No, he climbs, even without asking. (The husband stands nearby, looking over his wife’s shoulder, excitedly biting his nails.) Phew, I fixed it. God bless! (hugs the car) My girl! How would I be without you? She gets up and looks angrily at her husband.
Wife : And don’t touch me again, I beg you! My grandmother used to do laundry on it! Oh, you could have broken it!
Husband : Yes, I won’t touch her anymore. It hurts! You don’t speak to me as kindly as you do to her... Sometimes I even doubt whether you love me...
Wife : (grimaces) Don't start! Of course I do... (winks and slaps him below the back) Since we're talking about love...How about we talk to your wife before bed, huh? (switches to a playful tone) You promised to love and cherish me. You haven’t told me for a long time about your love, about what you think, about the fact that I am the best...
Husband : Honey, not today! I have a terrible headache... (grabs his forehead and sits on the sofa, covering himself with a blanket).
Wife (hot-tempered): As always, ...! Going to the garage with friends doesn’t give you a headache! Spend half a day in the gym – your head won’t hurt! And how to talk to me before going to bed, tell me about your love for me or simply answer the question: what is he thinking about - so he immediately gets a migraine!! I didn’t touch you for a week anyway, and I didn’t ask you anything when you had fishing days, damn them! ...
The Wife also sits on the sofa, covering herself with a blanket and turning away from her Husband. They are silent.
Husband (laughs quietly): Well, sorry I didn’t nail the shelf...
Wife (without turning around): Yes, no problem, you’ll kill me later. Cute? ...
Husband : What?
Wife : I won't touch your car anymore.
Husband : Oh, I won’t compare you to your mother and nag you for dinner anymore. And you should know: I love you very much!
Wife : Me too! Let's have some tea?
Hand in hand, they get up from the sofa and go to the kitchen.
End.
Pros of short skits
When guests decide how to please the newlyweds, they gradually come to the understanding that the most successful way would be to create a small performance. After all, it has a number of advantages: such a skit can be organized very quickly, you just need to warn the presenter about the required amount of time.
- No lengthy preparation required. After all, in order to perform a skit lasting several minutes, you do not need a large amount of text, especially if several people participate in the performance.
- One person can participate in the performance, but most often guests are grouped in groups of 3-4 people.
- The skit allows you to amuse the newlyweds and other guests (you can use some gag or joke as a basis).
- There are many themes that can be used to create a unique presentation. Most often they choose those that are associated with the theme of the holiday, with love, with the habits of the bride and groom, or with their work.
- If you don’t have enough imagination to come up with a play yourself, you can use a ready-made script.
- The minimum number of props required to create a performance. After all, such scenes are most often aimed at what the actors say or do. In simple versions, things will not be needed, but for more complex ones, some elements borrowed from the image of the original source will be required.
- Ease of remembering the text of the speech, because it is quite small in volume.
In addition, newlyweds can also plan a scene, for which, when organizing a wedding, the time for it is included in the script and an interesting plot is looked for. In order for the skit created by the organizers to go well, the host must know which of the guests performs well.
When the time comes for the performance, the toastmaster invites them and distributes the words. But most often this method is used to create plays without text, when it is necessary to show pantomime.
Sketch “Virtual acquaintance”
Props : Table and chairs, tablecloth, plate, two glasses, napkins.
Characters:
- Shura is a plump girl with a ridiculous hairstyle and glasses.
- Mitya is a thin guy, “nerdy” in appearance, wearing glasses and ridiculous clothes.
Shura sits at the table, impatiently looks at her watch, opens the mirror and straightens her hair. He's drooling on his finger and rubbing something under his eye. Fidgets in his chair. Looks around.
Mitya sneaks up to the table, looking around in surprise, holding a flower in his hands.
Mitya : Sorry, girl...Have you seen anyone else here?
Shura (looking up from the mirror): Oh, who do you want, young man? (looks at him with a disdainful look)
Mitya : You see, I have a meeting here... (scratching the back of his head) It seems like we agreed in this cafe... Oh, here, you, and no one else... Excuse me, what is your name?
Shura : Me? Shura! And, I have a date here too, young man, so...
Mitya (horrified): Alexandra?! So, is it you?!!
Shura : I... Wait, how... Oh, you... Dmitry?! (jumps up from his seat).
Mitya (with annoyance): Yes, really... For you, as I understand it, you can just Mitya... That's what I got! (plops down on a chair) And what is your reaction?
Shura : So, it’s you, the same (examines his figure) Athletic, tall, educated guy? (Mockingly) Where are your muscles, may I ask?
Mitya (angry): So you’re still reproaching me? Have you seen yourself in the mirror, young lady? In the photo I watched a fabulous slender beauty with long legs! Tell me honestly, was that a photo of your niece? Or granddaughters? ...
Shura (indignantly) Yes, how dare you! Brad Pitt is underdeveloped! No faces, no skin, God forgive me! Oh, so I posted about a sporty lifestyle and a foreign car! Oh, I’m thinking – what was that noise in the cafe? Oh, apparently this is a “frog in a box”, since there’s no smell of a car here!
Mitya (in a raised tone): Yes, I don’t have a car, like you, lady, an elastic body and a healthy diet. You said you were a vegetarian... (snatches her plate) What are we eating here? Salo?!! Shura snatches the plate back.
Shura (embarrassed): I needed to somehow pass the time while you were wandering around somewhere...
Mitya : I wasn’t wandering around, but looking for a flower for a beautiful lady, who, unfortunately, I didn’t find here. (shows her a flower) Take it! Apparently, this is for you! You can eat it to while away your loneliness!
Shura (gets up from the chair): Ham! Disgusting, rude and uncouth guy! Oh, I took time off work for him! I stayed on the Internet until late and didn’t sleep at night! Also, my fiancé! He brought some faded flower...
Mitya : Yes, you are also a brawler! God, may I ever meet someone on the Internet?! Yes, no way! To whom did I write poems and dedicated songs?!
Shura : You can delete all our correspondence! I don't want to see you! (throws the napkin on the table and leaves the table to the side).
Mitya : Mutually, young lady! Don't receive more than one letter from me! Farewell! (gets up from the table and moves to the other side).
They stand on opposite sides, nervously adjusting their clothes.
Valery Meladze’s song “How beautiful you are today” is playing in the background. Shura and Mitya freeze in place.
Shura (mumbling): God, this is the song he sent me. I thought he liked me... Stupid!
Mitya (mumbling): God, this is the song I sent her... She felt so sweet then... wrote such kind words... was so touching...
Shura : And every day he sent such tender messages... he was so funny and amusing... I thought I fell in love! And in the end? ...That's it...no more Dmitry...
Mitya (turns around): Shura!
Shura (without turning around): What do you want, Mitya?
Mitya (embarrassed): Shura... yes, I didn’t imagine you like that... Yes, and you don’t like me... But I can’t leave, knowing that I’ll never read your sincere and warm messages again. I want to start our acquaintance all over again. (he sits back down at the table).
Shura (hides a smile from him and returns to the table): Okay... I...My name is Shura! Mitya (embarrassed): This is...a wonderful name! Ah, I’m Mitya! Nice to meet you. (gives a flower) Oh, this is for you...
Shura (pleased): Thank you, these are my favorite flowers!
Mitya : I know...
They smile at each other and clink glasses.
End.
Scene: “In Search of the Prince”
Characters:
- Dasha
- Cupid
Details : sofa, plate with pies, robe, pillow, socks,
Dasha comes into the room, sobs and sits down on the sofa.
Dasha : What a movie! What love! These are the feelings! Where is he, my Prince, the man of my dreams!
Dasha is lounging on the sofa with frustration. The mobile phone is ringing.
Dasha (irritated): Well, who else is there? Oh, I'm tired of it! (throws the phone aside) Oh, how I dream of meeting Cupid. Where is this blond lazy guy? Why won't he send me Love?? I would say a few kind words to him!
Cupid comes onto the stage with a mug of tea and a newspaper. Dressed in a robe with wings visible at the back.
Cupid : What is it? They don't let you rest!
Dasha turns around sharply.
Dasha : Cupid?? It's you?!
Cupid (with annoyance) Who did you just call? Santa Claus, or what? He sits down on the sofa, throwing away the newspaper.
Cupid : So, what did you want?
Dasha : How, what? (shouts out) I want a groom, I want a husband, I want to be loved!
Cupid (grimaces) Quietly, quietly, I’m not deaf... And why is no one there?
The phone rings. Dasha looked at the phone with displeasure.
Dasha : Yes, there is one over there... Fedka... Yes, is this the groom?
Cupid : What's not to like?
Dasha : Actually, no! I deserve more! First of all, he is lazy, so clumsy... Cupid takes a sip of tea.
Dasha : Oh yes, would you like a pie? Go, there’s a plate in the kitchen...
Cupid goes for pies and puts the plate on the sofa. Dasha takes the pie, takes a bite and speaks with her mouth full.
Dasha : Secondly, his manners! If only you could see his manners! So uncultured! (a piece of pie falls on Dasha’s T-shirt, but she doesn’t notice) She’s behaving like a pig!
Cupid (looks sideways at Dasha): I can imagine how unpleasant this is...
Dasha (continues chewing): Yes! (wipes his hands on his T-shirt and licks his fingers) Where will I go with him? How will I appear in society? Yes, they will laugh at me! (The phone rings again) It rings again! Call, call... (Dasha slaps herself on the stomach) Ugh, I'm so full... (here he suddenly sits up straight) I, you understand, Cupid, need a tall one... You, write it down!
Cupid : (squints): I remember.
Dasha (dreamy) Sports! So that the muscles are there, biceps - triceps... So that you carry them in your arms!
Cupid (choking on tea): You?! And how much do you weigh, Dashenka!
Dasha (emphasizes): Strong! So that he can handle any burden! And so well-groomed! I don’t like these... various sluts... (sharply scratches his head) Oh, what did I say? Oh yes! To be neat.
Cupid (looks around the room in which there is a pillow, robe and socks) Yeah, neat, I see. ..
Dasha : This is the Cupid I will love with all my heart!
Cupid : ...Oh, him?
Dasha : Ty! And, of course he is. I'm already perfect. Yes, your figure is plump, there are pimples... Yes, and your hair is brittle... Well, so what! Let him love me as I am!
Cupid (gets up from the couch): Okay! You will find the partner you want, but first, you must do something...Here! (hands Dasha a scroll)
Dasha hastily unrolls the scroll and reads aloud.
Dasha : Well, well: sleep every day on a feather bed with peas... knit shirts from nettles... walk in Donkey Skin... (looks at Cupid in surprise) What kind of nonsense is this? What peas??
Cupid (important): Well, my dear, if you want to find a Prince, you will have to become a Princess yourself!
Do you remember the fairy tale about Cinderella? I watered twenty rose bushes, rolled in a pumpkin, sacrificed a shoe - and all for the sake of my loved one! If you want perfect, be perfect yourself. All! Ah, I have to go! And you don’t need to call me in the evening anymore.
Cupid leaves.
Dasha (looks through the list and throws it aside): What nonsense! “If you want to have a Prince, be a Princess!” Maybe I should also play sports and go to salons? Yeah! … Well, okay! Let's do without the Princes (takes the phone and calls) Hello, Fedya? Yes, I'm free today... Well, let's see you in the evening... (goes backstage).
End.
Funny scene for 2 people with a friend for any holiday in 2021
If you have like-minded people or close friends with relatives, this is a good opportunity to make a short funny skit for 2 people for any holiday in the New Year 2021, when the Rat symbol will be in charge.
Since short comic miniatures involving two people, a man and a woman, can be rehearsed at any time and anywhere, they are spontaneously planned and, as a rule, require short preparation and are therefore available at any time for any festive event and show event, including their can be shown on New Year's Eve at home for family members if there is a suitable performance opportunity.
Some ideas for a funny skit with a parody of 2 people, one of whom is a woman and the other is a man.
But what short forms of skits are there for two, and when are they actually suitable for comic display? Of course, this is partly always a personal decision for which holiday in the new 2021 of the Rats, when to use this or that humorous miniature and at which festive fun event. The idea of a comic performance in honor of a holiday
Sketch with the participation of 2 people “Displaced and Forgotten”
This humorous short miniature of the daily family life of an elderly couple tells the story of a man and woman who are sitting together on a holiday Sunday in a room at home. She knits one of her hats again and he just sits and looks out the window. It would seem that the whole family needs to relax on a festive Sunday, but is this really so? After some time, the silence ends and a dialogue begins, in which the wife first feels her husband a little irritated, and then does something that the man probably did not expect. Playing time: short 5-10 minutes.
"Displaced and Forgotten"
She: dear? Him: What? She: What are you doing there? Him: Nothing. She: Nothing at all? Him: No, nothing. She: Why is that? Him: Just like that. She: How can you do nothing? Him: Well, you see it. She: I don't see anything. Him: That's right. And that's exactly what I do. Nothing. She: Are you thinking about anything? Him: No. She: Nothing at all? Him: Nothing special. She: How about you decide to go outside for some fresh air? Him: I don't want to go out. She: Why not? Him: Because I have no desire. Because I don't want to do anything. She: But the air is so good outside on Bank Holiday 2021. Him: But I know that if I sit here and do nothing. She: You have to fill up the car in advance if you go out, otherwise you'll still be standing somewhere doing nothing. Him: But why should I refuel if I don’t want to go out? She: Because gasoline is especially cheap today. Him: How do you know this? She: From our neighbor. He comes out on his face, at least from time to time, unlike you. Him: I also go out from time to time, but only if I want to. She: When will you want it again? Him: Definitely not at the moment. She: Read a book if you don't go outside yet. Him: Maybe later. She: It will be dark later. Him: Then I turn on the light. She: How much does it cost and again will it cost money. You save money on gasoline, and then pay money for electricity. Him: I don't save money for gas. Her: Oh, do you want to get gas tomorrow? Then fuel, of course, will be more expensive again. Him: I don't care. I'm not doing anything today. She: How can you do nothing all day? Him: It spares my nerves. She: But you don't think about me at all. Him: Why don't I think about you? She: I work in the kitchen all day, cleaning the house, and you just do nothing. Him: But today is Sunday and a holiday in 2021 (names the holiday in honor of which this humorous miniature for two is shown), and tomorrow I have to go back to work. She: Does that mean you don't consciously do anything? Him: That's right. She: Well, then I know that you are a wonderful gentleman. Him: Why not a good gentleman? She: Well, because everything is stuck in my head again. Him: Okay, you win. The short scene for 2 people continues, with funny actions. The man gets up, takes the book and leaves the room away from the woman. She: Where are you going now? Him: I'm going to the car, drive away and read a book. And so that I get enough fresh air, I keep the window open all the time. She: Then do it. Him: I'll do it. Her: See you later. Him: See you later. A woman in a humorous comic miniature for two about family relationships takes a mobile phone and dials a number. She: Zulfiya! You can come to me with your friends. I am alone at home. Well, of course, among the many comic parodies of family relationships of 2 people, there are the good old classics, as well as more modern forms of miniatures. Thus, the choice is more than rich and offers ideas for any occasion for the new holidays in 2021 and any entertainment event, and even on New Year's Eve at home with your family!
