How to meet a guy's parents? How to dress, overcome fear, what to talk about.

How to meet

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Meeting the parents of a loved one is an important event in the life of every girl. This is one of the stages of a love relationship that all couples fear in their own way. Because there is a risk that potential future relatives will not like you. Let's look at how to meet a guy's parents so that everything goes smoothly, without problems or unexpected surprises.

• Who should initiate the acquaintance?
• How to prepare for dating?
• How to meet someone if you're scared?
• How to organize a meeting?
• What to talk about?
• Rules of etiquette
• How to meet a guy's parents if he doesn't want to?

Who should initiate the acquaintance?

According to an unspoken tradition, the initiator of the first meeting of the beloved girl with her parents should be the groom. It is he who should make such an offer at some point. But due to the fact that guys are not always in a hurry to take such a serious step, girls apply pressure.

Psychologists say that this is the wrong behavior in this situation. The fact is that by such behavior the lady shows that she longs for a wedding at any cost, and the candidate for marriage does not really matter.

It is important to know! If a guy delays meeting his parents, this is not an accident. Such slowness suggests that he doubts the correctness of his choice. It’s better to wait a little - decent behavior (without reproaches and scandals) will bring the lovers together even more.

What do you need to know before meeting with parents?

The meeting itself with the relatives of the future spouse is a difficult ritual. We need to take into account a number of important points and prepare for it mentally.

Perhaps some people should prepare in advance for such a meeting

For this meeting with the guy’s parents, you will need some advice from a psychologist:

1. Checks and provocations. Your mother may be specifically testing your reaction to topics that concern her, so never give in when she provokes you. Find a compromise and be smarter.
2. The situation is tense and out of control. Change the topic of conversation or make it a joke. Distract everyone's attention with an interesting story.
3. Manifestations of rudeness. They are quite rare from older people, so you shouldn’t respond to them with unpleasant reciprocity, but you shouldn’t allow yourself to be denigrated either. Be confident and calm.
4. Positive perception. Whenever you have a chance to make a good impression about yourself, take it. This is a good opportunity to get closer to your boyfriend's family.
5. Don't scold your man. This has already been mentioned, and yet refrain from reproaches and insults against him. Even if his parents themselves raised the topic of his shortcomings, do not agree and do not add your observations to their words.
6. Respect for elders. You are communicating with people who are much older than you and more experienced in life, so show respect and restraint to their point of view.

Give your mother her favorite flowers or a simple souvenir, small gifts for all family members

How to prepare for dating?

The first meeting between the parents of a lover and a potential bride is a confident step towards marriage. Therefore, you need to enter into good relations with your future mother-in-law and father-in-law. Let's look at what to pay attention to when preparing.

What to wear, how to put on makeup?

The girl's appearance will leave the first impression, which should be impeccable. Parents want to see a decent, worthy daughter-in-law next to their son, so the prohibited items of clothing are:

• bare belly, even if it’s +40 degrees outside;
• too high slits on the dress, skirt;
• manicure in flashy shades;
• deep neckline;
• defiant makeup.

Also, parents will not be happy with tattoos or piercings on the body. It is better to hide them during the first acquaintance.

The family’s lifestyle should also be taken into account: if your beloved’s mom and dad are modern people who prefer an informal subculture, then you can dress according to their style. For a meeting with parents of more traditional views, it is better to wear a classic dress in light colors.

Advice! It is also necessary to take into account the place where you were invited. If this is a picnic, then a girl in a business suit will look ridiculous.

As for makeup, it should be natural - no bright or dark shadows, lipsticks. A girl should look natural, emphasizing her facial features with makeup and hiding her flaws.

A hairstyle that is too intricate and pretentious will not work in favor of the future daughter-in-law. It is better to carefully style your hair, emphasizing elegance.

Do you need a gift, what to give?

Note! Going on a visit empty-handed is a sign of bad taste.

The first gift can tell a lot about a girl. You should not give a gift that is too expensive; this can put your loved one’s family in an awkward position, even to the point of irritation, since it will be perceived as bribery.

The best option for a gift to parents would be flowers, a box of chocolates or a cake. Moreover, you can bake the cake yourself, which will immediately evoke positive emotions towards the girl. After all, this means that their son will always be tasty fed.

Ask a guy about his parents

It is not necessary to demand that the young man spill all the family secrets, but a few points that will help in establishing contact with his parents are still worth knowing:

1. Family composition. The parents of a man from a large family will definitely talk about heirs. Therefore, if a girl plans to finish her studies and build a career for a certain time, you need to think about how to say this loyally so as not to offend anyone.
2. Hobbies and interests of parents. The topic of hobbies will be a good one for the first conversation. Moreover, there will be an opportunity to prepare, read information if the girl is not too knowledgeable on this issue. This will help to adequately support a casual conversation.
3. Taboo topics. The young man must definitely warn him about what topics it is better not to start conversations about.
4. Habits. You should clarify what kind of music parents prefer to listen to, whether they hug when they meet, etc.

It is also necessary to clarify the religious preferences of the beloved’s family, so as not to say something that is contrary to religion.

What points need to be taken into account

No matter what happens, it is better to treat little things with humor and understanding. It won't be long before they won't matter much.

You should not use information that could compromise your lover or parents. Previous marriages, children, illnesses and financial problems are topics that are best kept silent. The first meeting before the wedding should evoke only positive emotions in parents.

Who invites guests

According to traditions, the initiative to introduce parents before the wedding should be taken by the groom's relatives, not the bride. They come to the matchmakers. After dinner they offer a return visit.

However, customs are changing. The main thing is that the meeting is organized with comfort for everyone.

Meeting place for parents

It is better to get acquainted on neutral territory, where each of those present will feel comfortable. A posh restaurant is a bad idea. But the dining room is unlikely to be a suitable option. A mid-level establishment with good cuisine, clean and cozy, would be ideal. No one will have to stand at the stove all day and do general cleaning.

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You should also take into account the social status and financial situation of both parties. If it varies greatly, find a middle ground. A place where no one will feel awkward. True, there are hidden disadvantages in this option: the official setting may cause constraint, or there may be a noisy company at the next table.

Dating in nature

If the meeting takes place in the warm season, you can get out into nature. Outdoor recreation and a picnic will create a light atmosphere. The women will set the table, the men will bring firewood and cook the barbecue. This will bring future relatives together. In addition, in nature the difference in the social status of couples will not be noticeable.

Dinner at home

If young people live together, they should invite their families over for dinner. The girl will be able to demonstrate what kind of housewife she is. Such an informal atmosphere also has its advantages. You can time the meeting to coincide with some family holiday. Then there is a greater chance that everything will take place in a relaxed and relaxed atmosphere.

The bride should think about the menu in advance. Try to please your mother-in-law and father-in-law, prepare their favorite dishes. It is better if the food is not too fatty. Eating a lot of food can make you less willing to have an active conversation.

You can also make the first acquaintance with the bride's parents or the groom's parents. This option has its own charm: you can show your hospitality and good attitude towards relatives. The owners will feel freer on their territory and will be able to defuse the situation.

But there are also disadvantages:

• another couple may be offended that the dinner is not at their place;
• Spring cleaning and cooking can be draining and discourage small talk.

What can you cook

The menu is an important nuance of this evening. It needs to be planned in advance.

In a restaurant, it is better not to order exotic food - Asian, Mexican cuisine. These dishes are spicy and oversaturated with spices - not the best choice for a first meeting.

Russian or European cuisine - their dishes are more traditional, and for many will be preferable.

You need to make sure that those present have no dietary restrictions. It could be:

1. Allergies to specific foods (nuts, eggs, milk, etc.).
2. Vegetarianism. In its full manifestation, a person does not eat any animal products. But there are consumers who allow themselves fish, eggs or other products. When creating a menu, you need to know accurate information.
3. Alcohol. If there is an ardent opponent of alcohol at the table, it is better to smooth the corners and not serve it at all.

You should not invite other relatives to get acquainted. It is better to put things aside and fully concentrate on improving the relationships of loved ones.

When meeting, you need to smile more and show goodwill. This will help the company relax and behave naturally.

How to meet someone if you're scared?

Excitement before meeting your future relatives for the first time is a normal emotion. You need to understand that they are the same living people and worry no less before meeting each other. Therefore, for comfortable communication without tension, you should listen to the advice of experts:

1. You don't have to go out of your way to please your parents. Fanaticism in this matter will play against the girl.
2. No fake emotions. If you don’t want to smile, then it’s better not to do it.
3. Remain yourself. The girl’s son fell in love with her, which means that there is something special and unique about her.
4. Praise your mother's dish, you can even ask for the recipe.
5. When trying to please, there is no need to overdo it. An intelligent woman will immediately sense sincerity or just a desire to please.

What to give to your boyfriend's mom?

You should not give expensive things at the first meeting, because you are not such close people yet. But this does not mean that there is no need to give anything. You need to give something that will definitely not go unnoticed.

It is worth asking your chosen one: where does the mother work, what position does she hold, what does she do at work, her worldview, habits and culinary tastes.

Remember one truth: buy a gift for your boyfriend’s mother, the same one you would give to yours and to yourself. But we must not forget that people are different, and the guy’s mother may not necessarily like the gift that you would choose for yourself, and vice versa.

A gift for the kitchen would not be out of place, most likely for homebodies, such a gift would be excellent. As an option, you can buy: a set of plates, glasses, salad bowls, tea service or symbolic towels. If you are going to buy kitchen supplies and you have already been to your boyfriend's parents' apartment, then most likely you may have noticed something, for example, an old kettle, worn out rags and towels, dull knives, old forks or spoons, etc. This could be a great update to the meal plan in their lives.

In order to indirectly give a gift to your boyfriend, you can give his mother a cookbook. There is a large selection in absolutely every bookstore. It’s worth choosing not just a book that lists recipes, but a book that leaves room for notes. In the future, you will be able to prepare some dish together, provided that you, of course, know how to cook, and are in a fairly close relationship, perhaps with your future mother-in-law. It will be a great experience together.

If your beloved’s mother has a sense of beauty, you can also take advantage of this. In this case, you can give it, for example, tea. The tea must be one that she has never drunk before. Most likely some rare elite item that cannot be bought in regular stores.

As an addition to tea, you can use a tea set for two. Even if the mother of the chosen one is not a big connoisseur of tea, it’s okay, showing respect is already good, especially since almost all people drink tea, she will like it. Perhaps the guy's parents will invite their friends to tea and they will appreciate this gift.

What to talk about?

In a conversation immediately after meeting, you should avoid the following topics:

• religion;
• health;
• policy.

It’s better to start communicating with your parents’ interests and hobbies.

Mom and dad of a loved one may ask completely different questions. You don’t have to turn your soul inside out when responding to tactlessness, but you shouldn’t be too secretive either.

The best option would be questions from the girl about the guy’s childhood. Families love to remember funny moments from their children's past.

Presents for the parents of a young man

When you first meet your boyfriend’s parents, you can give a neutral, but at the same time original, present. For example, tea or coffee gifts. Ideas:

• An unusual variety of tea . Today in tea stores you can find gift sets that include several unusual varieties of tea. Inexpensive, but at the same time tasty and original present.
• Coffee beans . If a young man’s mother loves coffee, then the best gift for her would be a pack of coffee. If your mother is a connoisseur, you can surprise her with an unusual type of coffee or give her a set of several coffee samples.

Coffee beans as a gift

• Green oolong . The most popular variety of Chinese tea with a thick aroma and rich taste. You can't help but like this variety.
• Flower additives for tea . A beautiful and original gift - a set of tea additives. For example, this is a set that includes jasmine flowers, mint, and cinnamon sticks. With this set you can drink tea with a new taste every day.
• Pu'er . Famous Chinese highly fermented tea. It has a rich, recognizable taste.
• Spices for making mulled wine . Mulled wine is a traditional warming drink. With a set of spices you can make real mulled wine that will warm you up in bad weather.

Spices for making mulled wine
What else can you give to the parents of a young man? For example, utensils and accessories for preparing hot drinks. Ideas:

1. Tea strainer . A silicone strainer is an inexpensive but useful gift. You can choose a bright, original-shaped strainer, and then drinking tea will become even more enjoyable.
2. Glass teapot . A glass teapot made of heat-resistant glass is an appropriate gift from a girl to the mother of a young man.
3. Clay teapot . An even more original piece of tableware. It is believed that in a clay teapot, the taste and aroma of tea becomes even deeper and brighter.

Clay teapot as a gift

Rules of etiquette

According to the rules of etiquette, the younger ones are introduced to the elders, calling them by name. Therefore, if a loved one forgot to mention the name of one of the parents, it would be appropriate to remind him of this.

It is important to know! The girl does not shake hands first.

As for alcoholic drinks, you do not need to bring them. If there is wine on the table, it is better to limit yourself to one glass, but under no circumstances start talking about its aging or strength, demonstrating your knowledge of alcoholic beverages.

The parents of their loved one will forgive all minor mistakes at the first meeting if they see it. That the girl really dotes on their son. Pleasant words addressed to the young man will melt the ice in the heart of the future father-in-law and mother-in-law. But incontinence in statements (even in a whisper), vulgar touches under the table, parents will notice immediately.

What to give to your boyfriend's father?

To choose a gift for a guy’s father, you again need to talk about his interests and what he is interested in. You need to find something to start from when choosing a gift. If you can’t understand his interests, in any case you can give him some neutral gift. You can give a real man's gift, for example, a bottle of good cognac or something that the guy's father may appreciate. This can be not only an alcoholic drink, but also a smoking set. A set of good cigars is sure to please.

Don't forget that the best gift of all times was a book. A book is a simple and universal gift, and most importantly, it is easy to choose according to your interests. It doesn’t have to be fiction, many people don’t accept it as such, give him a book on fishing, cars, weapons, war, hunting, and possibly scientific literature. But if you have information about your interests, you can easily select the book you need, and then everything is simple: buy it in any bookstore, and if there is none, order it in an online store.

If he collects something, then this makes the task much easier. In this case, you can give him an item from his collection. But it's not that simple. We need to find out exactly what missing item he doesn’t have. There is a possibility that this item will cost too much, so you should give something from the collection at your own peril and risk.

Technology as a gift is also a good choice. But it’s better to buy equipment together with your boyfriend. The gift could be: a DVR, a phone or some construction tools.

The conclusion of all this is that it is not a gift that is important, but a show of respect for parents, even strangers. Although the gift itself can please and make the family happy, the fact of this gift is important. The money you put into a gift is not as important as what you put into choosing the gift. And finally, a joint photo would be a great solution.

How do you know if the meeting was a success?

The importance and responsibility of the first acquaintance is absolutely not exaggerated. The girl will be able to feel how successful it was the very next day after this event.

You may be interested in: How to make your family happy: proven tips

If the guy’s parents began to invite you to visit, or you are going to invite them to your place, then everything went well. This course of events indicates the seriousness of your couple’s intentions. And after communicating with the family of your future spouse, you will have experience in organizing such an event in order to plan a meeting of your other half with your relatives.