Civil marriage - a solution or a dead end?
In the modern world, more and more couples prefer civil marriage. This does not limit the rights of partners and makes it possible to experience all the nuances of life together. At least, this is what most people do before deciding to get married. And others don’t think about the stamp in their passport at all. After all, the main thing is that your loved one is nearby. In fact, the relationship between a man and a woman does not depend in any way on whether there was a wedding and what kind of wedding it was - magnificent or modest, etc. You can have a luxurious party according to all the rules and canons and even go through a wedding ceremony, and then never see happiness in life. There are also situations when, instead of a wedding, there was a modest painting, without a table and a cortege, and the relationship only blossoms and strengthens. If the happiness of a family does not depend on celebrating its birth, then what is a wedding for?
Is it worth getting married in the next 3-4 months?
At the moment, the celebrations are being postponed to summer and autumn. No one will give an exact answer to the question of whether it is worth postponing the wedding. The practice of wedding specialists shows that most couples who planned a celebration for the second half of summer do not cancel it yet. If you were planning a big, luxurious wedding for June or July, you should already think about postponing it.
You should reassure yourself: “we are not canceling the wedding, but only postponing the date” to avoid quarrels between the couple.
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What does this solemn event mean for a girl?
According to statistics, girls, of course, want to experience all the charm of the celebration. After all, from childhood, representatives of the fair sex know from fairy tales about princesses in magnificent decorations, about luxurious weddings in the palace and certainly with princes. Likewise, in real life, every girl wants to wear a wedding dress and experience all the benefits of being a bride. Veil, jewelry, bouquet, guests, music and fun - all these attributes will take your breath away just by listing them. The celebration itself serves as a kind of realization of an old childhood dream.
That's what a girl's wedding is for in most cases. Also, many ladies are in a hurry to cross the line of free life and devote themselves to family and raising children. They see this as their purpose and are ready to implement themselves in this direction without delay. That is why more and more often the initiative comes from the fair sex. The celebration is also a great opportunity to be the center of attention.
Wedding on Krasnaya Gorka
Why is it customary to have a wedding on Krasnaya Gorka? To answer, it is important to remember that the way of life of our ancestors depended on working in the field, because if a family did not sow or harvest on time, then they would live from hand to mouth for many months. In the spring, as soon as the ground froze after the snow, sowing work began, which was followed by tending the fields. Already at the beginning of autumn, active harvesting began. The time from mid-spring to mid-autumn was occupied with worries about food; no one even thought about celebrating the wedding. In winter frosts, weddings were rarely played; moreover, after Maslenitsa, the multi-day Lent began, which lasted until Easter - during which celebrations and weddings were prohibited. It turns out that the best time to get married is within two to three weeks after Easter and in mid-autumn. That’s why the wedding was held on Krasnaya Gorka - it was the first opportunity to get married after many months of prohibition.
Parents wanted
What is a wedding for? Sometimes the decision to hold a celebration is made by the parents of the boy and girl. After all, the past generation grew up on certain rules of society. And when people wanted to be together, they usually got married. It is sometimes difficult for parents to understand why their children do not live in an official marriage. After all, before this would have been considered a shame. But time moves forward, and many standards of society have long changed their guidelines. Now people pay attention primarily to self-realization. If starting a family does not run counter to their personal plans, then they tie the knot.
What if a guy and a girl have been dating for a long time or even live together. Why do they need a wedding? You need to understand each situation separately.
Opinions of outsiders
The first reason why celebrations of various formats are held is the official announcement of the creation of a young family. After all, relationships are not always advertised, and a wedding is a good reason to show your significant other to your many relatives. So we should not miss the fact that public opinion still matters. When, for example, a couple has been dating for a long time, sooner or later young people hear from acquaintances, relatives and friends the question of when is the wedding. And both the guy and the girl feel uneasy. Until this moment, they were happy with everything, they enjoyed the feelings and did not think about why the wedding was needed. Human psychology is structured in such a way that, having heard an opinion from the outside, he involuntarily begins to analyze it. Girls are more subject to the pressure of public opinion.
That is why they begin to give hints to their boyfriends in every possible way, and sometimes directly explain why they need a wedding. Often this results in strong marriages, and it also happens that everything ends before it even begins. Therefore, before getting married, you should get to know your partner well and observe his actions in different situations. The candy-bouquet period is, of course, good, but real life makes its own, sometimes not entirely pleasant, adjustments. You need to learn to live with your partner.
Wedding costs
First of all, analyze your financial condition.
A young family needs a separate apartment, a car, and savings for future children. Even the most modest wedding will cost the newlyweds a considerable amount. Assess how appropriate it is to allocate money for a wedding celebration. Perhaps the funds would be better spent on things necessary for further life together. Part of the wedding expenses is covered by gifts from guests. Typically, invitees give the newlyweds household appliances, interior items or money. But don't expect all your costs to be covered. The cost of most weddings is many times higher than the price of the gifts received.
Conscious decision
What is a wedding for? The second reason for holding an identity ceremony is a conscious and final decision to be with a certain person. This step is especially difficult for men to take. After all, you need to take care of the family’s wealth, be able to provide for your wife and children, and also be confident in your own choice. Sometimes it happens that girls think for a long time. Of course, when entering into marriage, no one can give one hundred percent guarantees of its success and longevity. However, this is what life is given for, to comprehend it together with a loved one. You should not create a family as some kind of burden that will reduce personal opportunities or limit your own space.
Rather, you need to perceive this as a new stage in your life. Perhaps even expanding your own capabilities, because together it is not only more fun, but also easier to go through life’s journey.
Moving to a new level of relationship
Sometimes people wonder why a wedding is necessary if the relationship is fine and life suits both. The fact is that this can serve as a transition to a qualitatively new level of perception of both yourself and your partner. No matter what the experienced people say, life still changes after the wedding. A special sense of responsibility appears, which is the norm for some, but emotionally depressing for others. Therefore, it often happens that a couple who lived together in a civil marriage completely loses mutual understanding after a stamp in their passport. This is, rather, the result of an incorrect interpretation of responsibilities in the family.
For some reason, society has an opinion that life ends after marriage. There are even many jokes about this. But in reality it doesn't come to humor. Family is a new format of life.
Wedding for a cause
In modern secular culture, marriage is a social contract, a kind of act of trust between partners. Often this is just a legal formality and is needed “for business”: from child custody to obtaining citizenship or tax benefits. No matter how sad some may be, it must be recognized that romance is giving way to property law and prenuptial agreements. Against the background of such a change in attitude towards the essence and meaning of marriage, the process of registering it in Russia looks like a wild anachronism: no matter how hard you try to reduce the ceremony to a dry notarial procedure, you will not be able to get away from the registrar with a bouffant, who, like twenty years ago, will push a mournful speech about “the meeting of two loving hearts.”
Greater confidence
So what is a wedding for and for whom? For young people or those around them? The answer may seem ambiguous to some, but those who have experienced this situation themselves will certainly agree. A wedding is needed to gain greater confidence in your own environment. For example, when a guy and a girl meet, almost no one close to them takes their choice seriously. This is especially true for parents.
After the wedding, things are different. The daughter-in-law is no longer perceived as just a son's girlfriend, and the son-in-law becomes something more than the daughter's boyfriend. This principle changes a lot in the relationship between people around and the couple. The atmosphere within the union between the young may remain the same, especially if everything was good before. But others perceive the couple as a single whole, that is, a family.
Will we have enough money?
If you want to have a big, big, pompous wedding with a large number of invited guests, then you may simply not have enough money. Those who have global doubts about whether to hold a celebration at all should keep a common thought in mind - this event must be planned (especially in the era of a pandemic)! And if now you have a shortage of financial resources, then you need to start accumulating them.
Taking loans from relatives, and even more so getting involved in credit bondage, are very bad ideas. Having a wedding and immediately getting a hole in the family budget is an extremely ill-considered move that will create unnecessary difficulties for the young unit of society.
What about couples who want to have a bright wedding that requires large financial investments, and such that they will have to save for a very long time? First of all, they need to understand that the scope of such celebrations cannot be an end in itself, since the most important thing at a wedding is unity with close friends, the atmosphere of a family holiday.
A different format of celebration is an excellent alternative to the usual wedding
Young people, due to their insolvency, often wonder why a wedding must necessarily be traditional with many guests, a good table and attributes that are usually present at such celebrations. After all, you can come up with something more interesting, while saving a considerable budget, which can be spent on the needs of a young family. From a practical point of view, this is the correct approach.
What if this wedding becomes the only one in your life? It would be unreasonable to miss such an event and replace it with a symbolic painting. Maybe it’s not worth throwing a fancy buffet. But you should try to celebrate this day in such a way that it will be remembered for a lifetime. Moreover, a wedding is a beautiful ritual of uniting the destinies of people who have decided to walk the path of life together.
The oath is also of great importance. Pronounced in the presence of close people, it acquires the greatest significance for the bride and groom. After all, these are the words that one often has to remember in later family life. Sometimes the memory of your own oath helps you make the right decision in favor of your family when difficult times come.
Wedding Bride 2021
Quite often, as a very active user of all kinds of wedding resources, I have to deal with opinions like “Why is this wedding? It’s a waste of money” or “I’m tired of these photos from Contact in white dresses, it feels like they’re doing a wedding so they can show off to their friends” or “I’m tired of these drinking bouts; We plan to just sign up and fly away to rest.”
And so I, along with everyone else, ask the question:
Why do we need a wedding at all? And is it necessary?
I'll try to answer.
In fact, there are two main reasons behind this question and the decision to do without a wedding at all:
1. I don’t like a wedding in the traditional sense, and I don’t want one. 2. I don’t want to spend a lot of money on the wedding - there are more important needs.
Both reasons are good enough.
Redemption at the entrance, registry office at 10 am, hours-long rides to “memorable” places, pigeons-locks-loaves-hearths, a banquet for 50+ guests in a dining room or a mediocre cafe, toastmaster, money competitions, cheerful guests, congratulations from postcards - yes , I agree, many people are already fed up with this whole hackneyed scheme. Most couples have already attended several such “celebrations” before their own wedding and, naturally, want variety. However, for some, this desire is transformed into an aversion to the wedding as such. Is this true? After all, a wedding, in its essence, is a very beautiful and touching holiday, and not at all a two-day marathon of traditions and booze. Ask yourself: do you really not want a wedding AT ALL, are you disgusted by the thought of celebrating the birth of your family? Or do you still want a holiday, but DIFFERENT? If it’s the second option, don’t rush to dismiss the idea of a wedding. Just think, what do you really want your Day to look like? Don’t want a registry office with a pompous interior and speeches? — Welcome to an outdoor ceremony or wedding. Don’t want to feed, water, or generally see a crowd of relatives and friends? — A wedding for two awaits you. Moreover, it is not necessary to have such a wedding in your native land - arrange a beautiful ceremony in the place where you plan to go on your honeymoon. Fortunately, today newlyweds have many alternatives. You just need to want to see them.
As for saving, of course, a wedding always involves significant expenses. The only question is how significant. When asking friends about the budget for their weddings and hearing figures of the order of 500,000 rubles, you may get the wrong impression that a wedding is a completely unaffordable holiday for you. Yes, my friend spent a lot of money - but, firstly, she invited 100 guests, and secondly, she spent the budget irrationally (for example, she spent 70,000 rubles only on a wedding dress). Naturally, you will not be aware of all these nuances. Weddings are very different, and what one couple spends 200,000 rubles on, another spends 2,000,000 rubles. This doesn't mean you have to do the same. In fact, the only thing you shouldn’t skimp on on your wedding day is a photographer. Everything else can be found of adequate quality for reasonable money. And refuse some services altogether (for example, a banquet, cake, hired transport), while preserving the beauty of the celebration. The main thing is to look for options, and not sit idly by, thinking that quietly signing at the registry office is the limit of your capabilities.
And finally, for those who still doubt))
9 reasons to definitely and definitely have a wedding:
1. Wear a luxurious dress.
Yes, yes, girls, whatever one may say, we all wanted to be princesses as children. So, a wedding is actually the only day in the life of most of us when we can wear a real ball gown. A fluffy skirt, an open back, and finally, white color - are there many reasons to dress up in all this? There probably won't be any other opportunities, unless you win a Nobel Prize or are invited to a royal ball. But how many chances are there for both?)))
2. Arrange a professional photo shoot.
Many of us dream about this, but only a few get around to it. And a wedding is a legitimate reason to get professional, not amateur, photographs of you beautiful.
3. Get professional makeup done and try on a new look.
This is back to the theme of princesses)) If most of us have done an evening hairstyle at least several times in our lives, then professional makeup is already “excess”. But I really want to try it))) Not to mention the fact that a wedding look is made much more luxurious than any other - the occasion obliges. Read the reviews of brides who turned to good wedding stylists to create their look - they are happy when they see the delight in the eyes of their new husband on the day of the celebration, and then see themselves, unrealistically beautiful, in the wedding photos.
By the way, the moment when the groom first sees his beloved as a bride is one of the most emotional and touching moments on the wedding day. It is at this time that you risk seeing a stingy man’s tear in the groom’s eyes))
4. Get together with the whole family.
Many families find themselves “scattered” all over the country, or even all over the world, and we don’t even see our closest relatives as often as we would like. A wedding is a good reason for relatives to come even from another continent))
5. Experience unforgettable emotions.
By simply signing at the registry office, you will never experience those touching moments that would await you at a “full-fledged” wedding. Tears of parents and friends, laughter of sincere happiness, and most importantly - the triumph of your love, to which this entire day is dedicated. The first meeting of young people, so unusually beautiful, your mutual “yes”, the first dance of husband and wife... You will cherish all these moments in your heart, like precious pearls. Believe me, if the wedding was as you dreamed, this day will remain in your memory as the happiest in your life. And it will be impossible to repeat all this.
6. Be the bride and groom.
These statuses are very fleeting, and even if you had a long engagement, most girls begin to feel like brides only on their wedding day.
7. Accept many congratulations.
From family, friends and complete strangers - on this day everyone will strive to say at least a few warm words to you, give you an admiring look or a smile. It’s a damn nice feeling: realizing that your personal holiday is shared by many people!
8. Allow yourself a little luxury.
Something that is expensive and something that has long been dreamed of. For example, rent a room with a jacuzzi in an expensive hotel for your wedding night. Or take a ride in a sports car. You are unlikely to do all this without a reason. And on your wedding day - very much so, and your conscience will be absolutely calm. Once in a lifetime after all!
9. Experience your finest hour.
Do you want all the attention of others to be directed only to you? A wedding is the perfect day to feel like a real star. After all, this is a celebration in your honor! The bride and groom always attract the attention of others, and the events and conversations of the wedding day revolve around you. Why not a dream?)))
PS
Did I regret that we had a wedding? - Not even once! Yes, we spent a fair amount of money. Yes, the preparation was long and not always easy. But it was and is our choice. In return, we received so many emotions and memories that no “just a painting in the registry office” could exist for us in principle. I’ll say more - I feel a little sorry for those couples who follow the “painting-traveling-home on weekdays” path. They are really depriving themselves of a lot. I’ll say even more))) I would love to organize another wedding for my husband and I))) And you can always earn money.
