Parental blessing is a kind of transfer of the power of the family, which accumulates over centuries. Our ancestors believed that blood ties are strong until the seventh generation, so each clan had its own Geneological tree. Blessing the newlyweds, the parents, in addition to the icons, presented the newlyweds with a census of their clan. This centuries-old tradition still exists today, and parents carry it out twice: before and after the registry office. Thus, they approve of the union of children, wish them well-being and give fatherly guidance.
When they bless the newlyweds before or after the registry office
Traditionally, on the wedding day, the couple listens to parental approval twice:
- the first time from the bride's parents in front of the registry office;
- the second from the parents of the young man after the official ceremony.
After ransoming the beloved and presenting her with a wedding bouquet, the bride’s parents and the newlyweds retire. For parental blessing, they use the icon of the “Kazan Mother of God”, the face of which is directed towards the newlyweds. The holy image must be kept in an embroidered towel (rushnik).
Having said parting words to the daughter, she is baptized with an icon and brought the image for a kiss. Similar actions are carried out for the groom, and then they jointly bless the newly created couple for a long life together.
After registration, the newlyweds are greeted by the groom’s parents with an icon of “Jesus Christ.” The sacrament is performed in front of the threshold of the father's house, which symbolizes the acceptance of the son's wife into the family. Today, father-in-law and mother-in-law most often give their approval to the newlyweds in a restaurant where the main festivities take place.
Every mother should know how to bless her son before the wedding.
So, the solemn wedding day is approaching. The mother’s blessing of her son before the wedding plays a special role, so it must be prepared in advance, every word carefully thought out. You will have to spend some time writing your commencement speech. As a rule, words of blessing of the son are said before the wedding after the newlyweds’ walk, before entering the banquet venue. At the same time, the mother meets the newlyweds with a loaf and salt, while the father holds icons.
However, this option is slightly simplified. According to ancient canons, a mother’s blessing is given to a son twice before a wedding. The first time - in his father's house, the second - together with his young wife (as described above).
What icons do parents use to bless newlyweds at a wedding?
Since ancient times, the guardians of the family hearth have been two saints: the Mother of God and Christ the Savior. The Kazan Icon of the Mother of God is the most revered face of the Mother of God. The image of the saint not only protects the family hearth from troubles and misfortunes, but also has healing properties. The saint is especially favorable to women. People pray to her image to conceive and give birth to a healthy child, so mothers choose this icon to bless their daughters before marriage. The ritual is performed in a secluded place, away from human eyes.
The groom receives his parental blessing from
the icon of the “Savior of the Almighty” (“Savior”).
On it Christ is depicted with the Gospel opened and his hand raised for blessing. The face of the Almighty should be in every family home. He protects, guides and supports. Today it is customary for newlyweds to be blessed with one or both icons. The shops sell special blessed pairs of saints or a folding booklet.
You can perform a blessing ritual with any other icon that has been kept in the family for several generations.
Icons for the bride and groom
What icon is used to bless the young? Traditionally, the blessing is carried out with two icons:
- icon of Christ the Savior - for the groom;
- icon of the Mother of God - for the bride.
It is customary to bless brides with the icon of Our Lady of Kazan, since she has long been revered as the intercessor of the entire Russian people. The history of the icon dates back to ancient times, and there are many miraculous rescues to its credit. The sacrament of weddings is also carried out with this icon. The priest meets the young people in the church with an icon and asks for the intercession of the Mother of God:
- about the establishment of a strong family;
- about the birth of children;
- about the health of all household members;
- about well-being in the family;
- about peace and mutual understanding.
The Kazan Mother of God is the keeper of the hearth; prayers are offered to her for the birth and upbringing of children. With this icon, a mother blesses her daughter.
What icon do the bride's parents bless the newlyweds with, besides Our Lady of Kazan? You can bless with any other icon of the Mother of God, if you wish. The choice of the image of the Virgin Mary may be due to personal reasons (it helped in healing or another problem). It can also be a family icon of the Mother of God, intercessor and patroness.
The Almighty Savior is an important icon at a wedding. It is to her that prayers are offered for well-being in the home, addressed in joy and sorrow. The groom should be blessed with this icon. A distinctive feature of the icon is the open Bible, which Jesus holds in his right hand. The words are written there: “I give you a new commandment: love one another.”
However, in practice, the blessing can also be carried out with an icon of the patron saint, a personal icon of a man. Some choose the image of Nicholas the Wonderworker, since he is one of the most revered saints in Rus'.
If you still have family icons from the wedding of your great-grandmothers and grandmothers, then it makes sense to perform a blessing ceremony with them.
In the church you can buy a wedding fold - icons of the Virgin Mary and Christ. If the fold was not purchased from a church, it must be blessed before the wedding.
How to properly bless the newlyweds with an icon
The couple receives a parental blessing three times:
- during the matchmaking period and on the eve of the trip to the registry office from the bride’s parents;
- after the formal registration from the groom's parents.
The sacrament has full power if you follow all the rules and select the right icons. The holy images of the Savior and the Mother of God are the main blessed icons. Parents must purchase them in advance and also prepare embroidered towels.
It must be remembered that holy images are not taken with bare hands.
Parental parting words are spoken in a separate room, surrounded by loved ones. The blessed icon can be purchased or passed on by inheritance.
The bride's father gives the Mother of God the Mother of God. She holds the image facing the young people and pronounces wishes and instructions. There is no specific text of the blessing. Parents speak words that come from the heart.
During the speech, the mother baptizes the couple three times with the icon and brings the saint’s face up for a kiss. At the end of the ritual, the blessed icon along with the towel is handed over to the newlyweds.
They keep it as a sacred relic that carries powerful spiritual potential.
How to bless the new mother of the bride
The first blessing ritual is performed by the bride's parents on the wedding day. Agreeing to their daughter's upcoming marriage, they bless her. Only after this the daughter brings bread to the matchmakers - a symbol of general agreement.
Parental blessing can be obtained:
- verbally, speaking words, standing face to face,
- A written blessing is written by the mother of her daughter, which is subsequently burned. Throughout the week, the prayer “After the blessing of the child” is read.
- a written blessing is written by the daughter under the dictation of the mother, and then the prayer “For your child” is read and the letter is burned.
An icon and an embroidered towel are prepared in advance. The newlyweds stand in front of the mother of the bride, who holds the icon (the face is facing the young couple). The mother’s words sound like an instruction to her daughter and her betrothed. At the end, the mother baptizes her daughter three times, then her future son-in-law and places a triple joint cross on the couple. The father performs similar actions. The young people cross themselves and kiss the relic. In the event of a wedding, the icon is taken to the church.
If the ritual is performed while sitting, the newlyweds kneel on the wedding towel.
How to bless the groom's new mother
The groom receives the first blessing from his parents on the day of the celebration, before going to pick up the bride. He stands opposite his parents, and may even kneel.
The father baptizes his son with the face of the Savior and speaks warm words. The mother performs the same actions.
The second time the parents of the young man perform the ritual after registration, when the couple arrives at the groom’s house. The newly-made husband and wife are greeted with the main icons and a magnificent loaf of bread.
The young man’s mother directs her words to her daughter-in-law, drawing her attention to the fact that their home is open to her. She wishes her wisdom and patience, because it is the wife who acts as the caretaker of the family.
Ritual icons are kept in the house in the most honorable place: they are hung in the corner or above the family bed. They ward off quarrels, troubles and misfortunes.
How does the ceremony of blessing parents take place at a wedding?
To begin with, it is worth noting the fact that in the world there is no one scenario for the ceremony of blessing parents at a wedding that is mandatory for everyone.
Therefore, at each event, this ceremony takes place in its own way, based on the traditions of a particular family and taking into account the preferences of the newlyweds and their parents.
But still, when conducting a blessing ceremony, all its participants must be baptized, and also agree and are ready for this ceremony.
The bride and groom receive their very first blessing before the wedding at matchmaking, when their parents meet at a common table, agree with their children’s decision about marriage and begin discussing the future wedding.
At a wedding celebration, the blessing ceremony usually takes place in two steps: the first time the parents bless their child at home before going to the registry office to register the marriage or to the church for the wedding, and the second time when they meet the newlyweds in front of the banquet hall where the celebration will take place, with bread and salt .
For the blessing ceremony, parents on the groom’s side buy an icon of Christ the Savior, and parents on the bride’s side buy an icon of the Kazan Mother of God.
Before the first blessing ceremony, it is customary to wrap the icons with a new towel, then the parents turn them to face their children and cross them three times, and only then say parting words. All this happens in secret from everyone.
The second blessing ceremony takes place more festively in the presence of both the newlyweds and all invited guests. At the same time, the parents of the newlyweds say parting words to their children, holding icons and a loaf of salt on a towel in their hands.
Words of blessing from parents to young people
Just as there is no general plan for conducting a wedding blessing ceremony, there are no obligatory words that the parents of the bride and groom must certainly say when blessing the newlyweds.
Let us give an approximate plan of what should be said to the parents of the newlyweds when blessing them.
- The groom's parents speak first.
First, the groom’s mother blesses the young couple’s marriage, says that she will be glad to see and welcome her son’s chosen one in her home, is ready to help and support her, and in return asks to carefully preserve the new family hearth.
- And the mother directs her son to show love and respect for his wife. The groom's father joins the mother's words and wishes his son to be a real man with a capital M in his family, an exemplary husband and a caring father for future children.
- Then the turn goes to the bride's parents. First, the father speaks, asking his son-in-law to treat his most precious treasure - his daughter - with respect and love, and also to protect her from all troubles and misfortunes, and to always be there. The mother on the bride's side speaks last.
Perhaps my mother’s words are always the most touching and heartfelt. She blesses their family for a happy family life, wishes them to overcome together all the difficulties and hardships along the way, give birth to and raise beautiful children.
What to do with icons and towels after the ceremony of blessing by parents?
After parting words, parents baptize their children with icons and let them kiss them, and also invite the young ones to bite off a piece of the loaf, sprinkle it with salt and eat it.
Believing newlyweds can place these icons in a prominent place in their home. An unbelieving married couple keeps the icons wrapped in a towel in a separate place in the house.
But the most important thing is that these icons cannot be given to anyone from outside or re-gifted. They need to be protected as a family heirloom and passed on to future children from generation to generation.
This is what an approximate plan for blessing a young couple with their parents looks like, if all participants in the ceremony are Orthodox Christians.
If the blessing ritual takes place in a family of atheists, then icons are not used in this case, and the ritual itself consists of parents simply saying parting words and wishes to their children.
It happens that parents deny their children a blessing, which may be due to various reasons. But in this case, you shouldn’t despair, you need to wait a little.
It is possible that after some time, parents will see their child’s chosen one in a different, better light, they will be able to discern in him those qualities and character traits that their child liked, then they will finally accept the child’s choice and bless the young couple for marriage.
And, it is possible that the parents will turn out to be right that they refused the blessing and the chosen one of their daughter or son is not such a good person as their child initially thought. In any case, it takes time to figure everything out.
The main thing is that parents really approve of their children’s choice and sincerely wish them a happy family life, and are also ready to help and support their children.
How to properly bless the newlyweds before the wedding
Engagement is considered the first step towards starting a family.
Before her announcement, the couple must receive parental blessing. The prayer of parents can help a young family overcome any troubles.
On the day of the engagement, the young man meets the parents of his future wife and asks for her hand in marriage. At the family table they discuss the date of the future wedding and all the details of the wedding. This moment is very exciting and reverent for both parties. Of course, there are cases when the young man has met his parents in advance and at the engagement only asks for the girl’s hand in marriage.
In order to correctly determine the wedding date, you need to know certain signs, and believe me, there are a lot of them. You can read about this in our article.
Parents bless their daughter with the sign of the cross and prayer with the face of the Mother of God. Then the newlyweds go to the groom's house for parental approval.
The bride's parents re-bless the couple before going to the registry office. It is believed that it is harder for a girl on this day, because she leaves her home and goes to a new family.
During the ritual, the couple kneels on an embroidered towel and listens to the parental blessing. The parents of the young man also bless him before going to pick up the bride for a safe journey and a successful ransom.
How to bless your son before the wedding: words of maternal blessing
The word of parents, as you know, is endowed with special power. Father's and mother's blessings can have a direct impact on the fate of children. That is why they turn to their parents with such a request before any important event. One of them is the wedding day. How to bless your son before the wedding? What words should I say?
Not a single modern wedding is complete without parental blessing, just like in ancient times. The meaning of the ritual is quite multifaceted. Parents agree with their child’s choice, approve of the union, wish love and happiness, and give wise parting words to the young family.
How to properly bless the newlyweds after the registry office
After registration, the groom’s parents meet the groom’s parents on the threshold of their father’s house with an icon and a loaf of bread. In Rus', dough has long been considered a symbol of fertility and prosperity.
There are wishes for peace and goodness, understanding and family well-being. There is a Slavic tradition when the mother of the groom put on an inverted sheepskin coat and met the newlyweds in it. Along the way, she showered the newlyweds with wheat or oats, which promised the new family wealth and many children.
The groom must carry the bride in his arms across the threshold of the new house so that she can live well there. After the blessing ritual, parents invite everyone to the festive table.
The father leads the newlyweds around the table three times and invites them to break the plate. Young people must step over the fragments so that their lives can go on without quarrels and illnesses.
Blessing for son
Traditions have some differences in different regions. We present one of the options for blessing the groom. Only the newlywed, his relatives and godparents are in the room. Bread is placed on a table covered with a tablecloth, salt, holy water and a lit candle are placed nearby.
Mom is holding an icon of the Savior. After the blessing, dad takes his son by the hand and leads him around the table clockwise, and mom brings up the rear, holding a burning candle in one hand and an icon in the other. The action is carried out three times.
There is an ancient prayer that parents said before their son left the house, going to the bride price. Here is its text:
Just as faith is strong, indestructible and strong, and mead is sweet, in the same way let the family of (the name of the son) with (the name of the bride) be indestructible by any adversity and their faith in each other be strong and their love sweet. Let them be inseparable, starting right from this day and this minute - only together, so that not a moment apart in their thoughts! Amen. I bless you for starting a family!
The groom’s mother can read the prayer while holding the icon, or say wishes in her own words.
The father gives his son parting words for a long and happy marriage: Beloved son! I bless you for starting a family. May the Lord protect her from all misfortunes and evil. Love your wife and be faithful to her. Become a strong shoulder for her and future children, protecting and supporting them from everyday problems and difficulties. Help her in all matters. May there always be peace, harmony, love, prosperity and prosperity in your family!
What do they say when blessing the young?
There are no exact words of blessing; they cannot be memorized. Each parent puts his soul into his words and speaks as he knows and feels. The meaning of the ritual speech boils down to the following phrase: “We bless you for a long, happy family life.” Here are several examples of parental blessing texts.
daughters
son
Helpful tips during the ritual:
- Icons are kept only in towels, so they are purchased in advance.
- Before bringing the face of the saint to the couple for a kiss, parents must baptize the newlyweds three times: from top to bottom and from left to right.
- When blessing a young father, he should explain the main points of the sacrament in advance, since men are far from religious rituals.
Every parent should remember that the word “bless” literally means speaking for good. The words of the mother are especially effective, which in all centuries have been a powerful defense against all sorts of troubles. There is no stronger amulet than the strength of a mother.
