Wedding is an important church sacrament with a long history. Various rituals are held in the church, but only 7 of them are awarded the title of “sacraments” (in other words, gifts of the Holy Spirit): these are the sacraments of baptism, communion, confirmation, repentance, unction, wedding and priesthood.
Thanks to the sacrament of wedding, a couple of Christian believers receives a blessing from God to build a strong family union, give birth and raise offspring. What is needed for a wedding and how this ceremony is carried out - let's look at this topic in detail in today's material.
What do you need for a wedding?
- First of all, the consent of the bride and groom will be required, because only with mutual readiness is it possible to perform the sacred sacrament.
- Both newlyweds must be Orthodox Christians. If they have not undergone the sacrament of baptism and do not believe in Jesus Christ, then it makes no sense for them to get married. In the case when a woman or man belongs to another religion, the priest can marry them, however, with the only condition that the children born in the marriage must be baptized.
- The couple must have confirmation that they are officially married. Extramarital weddings are not permitted. But you can get married at any time after the wedding - even in a year, even in 20 years!
- Organizing such a special event as a wedding is not as easy as it seems. It may be difficult to select a date for the sacrament: it is prohibited to get married on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, as well as on dates of major fasting. If you have not yet formalized your marriage, but want to get married, then first select a date for the wedding, and then go to the registry office to submit an application. And if you got married even earlier, then use the church calendar to choose a good day to unite your hearts before God.
- It is important to consider that for the wedding ceremony both the bride and groom should dress as chastely as possible. Light makeup on girls is allowed. It is important for both to stock up on crosses, and the bride must also cover her head.
- The newlyweds can invite guests to the ceremony at their own discretion - there are no strict prohibitions or restrictions.
Appearance
It's no secret that for a wedding you need to have the appropriate outfit. The church is a shrine. Therefore, you cannot go there as you please. Most likely, both the groom and male guests will be in suits. This is quite enough. But girls need to choose their outfit more carefully. Naturally, no exposed legs, shoulders or neckline. You also cannot come in trousers and wear bright evening makeup. Women's heads must be covered. If the bride's veil does not completely cover her head, but only plays a decorative function, it is worth choosing a special scarf for this occasion. Everyone present at the ceremony must have a cross on their body.
Wedding scarf
The purpose of this accessory is not only to cover the newlywed’s head, but also not to get out of the wedding look. For the wedding, the bride will choose a stole that matches her wedding dress. Designers and fashion designers of wedding fashion have also taken care of this accessory, so the choice is very diverse. A translucent lace scarf will go well with a dress with lace. And for a dress in a rustic style made from natural materials, there is a large selection of linen embroidered stoles. They also differ in cut. The most comfortable are scarves with elastic bands. There is no need to tie them - thanks to the elastic band, the headdress lies calmly on the head. Also, such a scarf is worth choosing if you have a dress with open shoulders: it will cover both the head and shoulders of the young woman. Another stylish option is the “pipe” cut. It can be quickly taken off or put on. You can choose the same hats for all the girls who will attend the ceremony - it will be very beautiful.
Prohibitions related to weddings
- People who are related up to the fourth degree cannot get married.
- The sacrament can be performed no more than three times. The fourth time the church will be forced to refuse you.
- It is unacceptable to perform the sacrament if the man or woman is married to another person. All ties must be dissolved in advance and a joint official marriage must be formalized.
- Witnesses must be chosen who have been baptized, and they must not be divorced.
- Wedding ceremonies are not performed for persons under 18 years of age.
- If one or both spouses are over 80 years old or they simply have a big age difference, they will need to obtain special permission from the bishop to get married.
- A church union between people who are civilly related is prohibited: for example, a father and an adopted daughter.
- If a girl is pregnant at the time of the sacrament, then the priest must be warned about this in advance (during communion).
A little about the bride's wedding dress
The color of the wedding dress should be light tones. White color - a symbol of innocence and purity, came to us from Europe. Our ancestors walked down the aisle in dresses of different colors. But there were also established rules: you couldn’t wear colorful and bright dresses, as well as gloomy black, dark brown and poisonous purple shades. The rest of the delicate tones of any color are quite appropriate for this event.
According to the rules, the length of the wedding dress should be below the knees. For the wedding process, the dress can be of any style, but as closed as possible. An outfit with long sleeves, a closed back and a shallow neckline would look ideal. The sleeve style is allowed and shortened, to the elbow, for example. But the back, chest and shoulders must be completely covered and there are no deviations here.
A wedding scarf is a fascinating and integral part of a wedding dress. According to Orthodox traditions, a girl’s head should be completely covered by a headdress. As we have already said, it could be a veil, but we will now name three good reasons why the choice should fall on a wedding scarf.
Reason #1
The beauty of a wedding accessory. The headdress is made of lace, light and delicate fabric. Thanks to this, the fabric smoothly falls on the shoulders of the newlywed, forming neat folds. A scarf accessory will add mystery and enigma to the image, as well as an aura of spirituality.
Reason #2
An original headdress in the form of a wedding scarf will highlight the image of the bride, unlike other newlyweds whose heads are covered from behind by a veil. During the wedding, the girl’s face should be open, this is another plus to the fact that a scarf allows you to do this, but a veil does not always. If the bride's dress still has slight frivolities, then shawl fabric will successfully cover up this defect; a veil, due to its transparency and volatility, will not be able to do this.
Reason #3
The wedding scarf allows you to comply with all church rules and traditions, while it does not overshadow the beauty of the bride, but rather emphasizes it favorably. It doesn’t fall off your head when you bow, which is very convenient; you don’t have to constantly twitch and adjust the material that has moved onto your forehead or completely covered your face.
The arguments are given, the choice is yours. Keep in mind, whatever headgear you choose, it should always completely cover your head, and your face should be as open as possible.
Proper preparation for a wedding
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Each church has a list of its own rules for preparation before the wedding procedure. Therefore, you need to find out them from the clergyman in advance.
As for the general rules, before the sacrament of church marriage, it is important for the bride and groom to receive communion, confess and fast for 7 days. During this time, the newlyweds must cleanse not only their body, but also their soul, regularly reading prayers (the priest will tell you which ones and when).
Preparation for a wedding includes the mandatory cessation of bad habits (such as drinking alcohol, smoking), and also implies a ban on intimate relationships between spouses.
You must also bring a wedding set with you to the sacrament. Let's look at what it includes further.
What do you give for a wedding?
Usually guests give newlyweds items of a religious nature, for example:
- Icons;
- gold or silver pendants and pendants with images of a guardian angel;
- a trip to the holy places of Jerusalem with an open date;
- an expensively bound Bible or other church scriptures in a gift edition;
- candlesticks;
- crosses;
- coins with the faces of saints.
Among gifts not related to religious symbols, the following are popular:
- genealogy books,
- valuable jewellery,
- wedding cups,
- beautiful wine glasses,
- glasses with engraving for wedding
- crystal, bronze or porcelain figurines with love symbols.
Whatever you choose, be it figurines for a wedding, a tour of sacred places, or a craft in the form of an angel figurine, remember that such a gift should be desired and remembered for a lifetime.
Wedding set
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The wedding set includes the following items:
- Icons of Jesus Christ and his divine Mother. It is important to choose images in the same style. Subsequently, they will become a reliable amulet for husband and wife; they are usually passed on to children by inheritance.
- Wedding rings that symbolize eternal love. They are first given to the priest for consecration.
- Candles - their newlyweds will hold the entire wedding ceremony.
- A towel - a husband and wife stand on it during the sacrament, and then leave it at the temple. You buy a white towel; symbolically it symbolizes the cloud on which the couple soars into the heavens. It’s not for nothing that they say that marriages are made in heaven, not on earth.
- Union towel, symbolizing marriage bonds. With its help, the priest will tie the hand of a man and a woman.
- Handkerchiefs are used by witnesses to hold the wedding crowns over the heads of the newlyweds.
- Crown - symbolizes the blessing of God.
- Handkerchiefs for candles. Candles should burn throughout the wedding ceremony, and handkerchiefs will protect the hands and attire of the bride and groom from dripping wax.
- Wine (chosen church wine - Cahors). When the Lord's Prayer has been said, the young people should drink wine from the same cup. With this action they symbolically designate their complete unity, the desire to be together in sorrow and in joy.
Wedding candles
Fire in a church is a common thing; thousands of candles burn in the church every day, carrying the prayers, requests and gratitude of believers to heaven. But wedding candles are special. Their fire is a symbol of the love of two people uniting their lives before the Lord. They preserve the power of the prayer that the priest reads during the wedding sacrament. Considering that the ceremony lasts several hours, and the candles in the hands of the newlyweds must burn throughout the ceremony, they must be of the appropriate size and quality. No one wants the candle to go out during the wedding, because this is an unkind sign.
Paraffin or wax wedding candles are made with special care. They are decorated with ornaments, patterns, applied decorative elements and often look like a work of art. Accordingly, their price is higher than that of ordinary candles. You can, of course, use regular ones. In this case, you can figure out how to decorate them yourself so that they look elegant and festive. Making candles with your own hands is a creative process, the result is unique.
How does a wedding take place in a church?
Let's now talk about how the wedding takes place.
In the church, preparations are made for the sacrament even before the newlyweds arrive: candles are placed and lit, the wedding rings are given to the priest, and a white towel is laid out for the bride and groom. Both the witness and the witness must complete this preparation.
A little later, the heroes of the occasion themselves arrive at the temple, approximately half an hour before the wedding. Now they are allowed to travel together, but previously the groom arrived first and had to wait for his chosen one at the door.
The wedding itself is carried out in the following steps:
- Step 1. The young people enter the church, accompanied by the deacon. The woman stands on the left side of the man. They stand on a white towel. The priest appears, performs a triple blessing of the newlyweds, and gives them wedding candles. Husband and wife must cross themselves after each blessing.
- Step 2. The deacon prays, asking the Lord to send his blessing for the newlyweds.
- Step 3. The clergyman brings out the wedding rings for the bride and groom, they lie on a special tray. A man's ring is on the left side, and a woman's is on the right. The couple must exchange rings three times.
- Step 4. They should then approach the central part of the temple, moving behind the priest. He asks him and her whether they agree to voluntarily enter into marriage. After which the priest asks those present if anyone knows the reasons why the alliance cannot be concluded.
- Step 5. The deacon again says prayers. When they are completed, the witnesses raise crowns over the heads of the newlyweds.
- Step 6. A container of wine is brought out, the spouses need to drink from it to the bottom three times, but taking small sips.
- Step 7. Then the priest joins the young people by the hands and leads them around the lectern three times.
- Step 8. Those getting married must approach the Royal Doors and touch the cross and icons with their lips. The priest gives a farewell speech and the wedding procedure is considered completed.
Wedding ceremony
The priest who marries the newlyweds must call them by their church names. The ritual is held at the entrance to the temple. Blessing the newlyweds, the priest hands them burning candles, which they must keep lit until the end of the ceremony. Then the ceremony continues in the temple premises, where a towel is laid under the feet of the newlyweds.
After reading the required prayers, the priest asks the couple the main questions about whether they are ready to become spouses before God, and whether there are any reasons preventing this union. Answering in the affirmative, they drink wine from the chalice, after which the priest leads them to the icons, after kissing which, the young people become married. Now comes the time for congratulations, but the most important sacrament has already happened.
Additional information about the wedding
There are some things that worry many couples before getting married. Let's review them further:
- The bride cannot wear a suit, she must wear only a dress. And if the outfit exposes the shoulders or back, then you need to cover them with a cape.
- It is advisable for a girl to buy low-heeled shoes, because she will have to stand in the temple for several hours, during which time her legs can become very tired.
- It is important to emphasize maximum modesty in hair and makeup for the newlywed. There is no point in creating a bulky hairstyle, because it will still hide behind the crown.
- The situation with the groom is simpler; he just cannot show piercings and tattoos, if he has any, for everyone to see. If a man wears long hair, then it should be collected.
- All guests for the ceremony must stock up on crosses; women cover their heads with scarves.
- During the wedding ceremony, everyone should turn off their mobile phone.
- Today it is very popular to order professional photography and video shooting services, both for weddings and weddings. Please note that in order to invite a photographer or videographer to the temple, you will need to obtain permission in advance and pay a set amount for it.
And most importantly, do not forget about the sacred meaning of the wedding ceremony. After all, it does not lie in external attributes, but in the sincere desire of partners to unite themselves in church marriage, to strengthen their love with God’s blessing.
Wedding clothes
The bride should wear a wedding dress without a deep neckline, covering her knees and, preferably, her shoulders, light but not bright. Full-length gloves, capes and shawls covering the neckline and shoulders are welcome. The head should be covered, but taking into account the fact that you will need to wear a wedding crown (the hairstyle should also take this moment into account), i.e. the hat will be out of place. Also, you should not wear a very fluffy veil, as proximity to burning candles can be dangerous. If the bride has an open dress, the optimal headdress would be a large silk or lace stole or cape that covers the shoulders and neckline. If the dress has sleeves and a modest shallow neckline, you can get by with a beautiful scarf or scarf.
Makeup should be modest. You can line your eyes, but painting your lips is strictly forbidden, since the bride will have to kiss the icon. There are no special requirements for shoes, so you should choose something neat and comfortable. It is better not to take risks with new shoes or high heels, because you will have to stand for a long time.
Any formal suit will suit the groom. There are no special requirements, the main thing is not to come in casual or frivolous clothes. Guests should also dress as strictly as possible: women - in closed clothes with their heads covered, men - in suits without a headdress.
All participants in the ceremony must wear their crosses.
Making wedding attributes with your own hands
Preparing for a wedding celebration is a very exciting period. Future newlyweds have a desire to bring their warmth and a piece of personal happiness into it by making some wedding attributes with their own hands.
Invitations
The guest will receive the first impression of the upcoming holiday from the invitation given to him. It should reflect the theme and mood of the upcoming celebration.
To make a beautiful lace card, you need:
Manufacturing:
A beautiful gentle invitation card is ready.
Ring pad
Made with your own hands, it will warm your soul for many years with bright memories of the most exciting day.
To create an elegant pillow you need:
We sew a pillow:
A delicate and stylish pillow for rings is ready.
Car decorations
A beautiful carriage is an integral part of any wedding celebration. Cars are decorated with rings, bows, figurines of newlyweds, balls and sparkles.
If future newlyweds do not want to rent jewelry, you can make them yourself.
Some of the most popular are ribbons and bows. It is not difficult to attach them to the hood (you just need to hook them onto the protruding parts of the car), and they look very elegant.
You can decorate your car using New Year's rain and tape.
Painting lovers can decorate their car using stencils.
Small bouquets of flowers tied to handles look impressive. You can easily assemble them yourself using the same flowers as in the bride's bouquet.
Inside the car, you can create a rainbow, cheerful mood with the help of satin ribbons wrapped around the steering wheel.
Decoration of wedding glasses
You can also decorate the glasses of the bride and groom yourself, for this you need:
- Satin ribbons.
- Lace.
- Glue.
- Paint for painting glass.
- Jewelry (brooches or rhinestones).
Decor:
You can wrap the stem of the glass with a satin ribbon, securing its ends with glue, and tie a beautiful bow in the place where the cup begins. The cup itself can be covered with rhinestones.
Another option for decorating the bowl of a glass is unusual lace secured with glue. You can also glue beads, rhinestones or a spectacular brooch onto the lace.
Another way
- This is painting wedding glasses with special paint. Here you can realize the most daring ideas by painting a bowl in the form of lace, or depicting the wedding suits of the bride and groom on them.
What you need to buy
Wedding candles
Which ones are better to choose?
Candles are sold in the church shop: you can buy them there on the day of the celebration or in advance.
Candles of a certain design can be found in online stores: from the most ordinary wax candles to products of various colors, shapes and sizes, decorated with small bouquets, patterned modeling, ribbons, rings, hand or factory painting, glitter (sparkles), decals (images with a paper base ), in a package or with candlesticks, etc. Their choice is a matter of taste, the main thing is that they are wedding candles.
What are they for?
Wedding candles are obligatory “participants” of the wedding ceremony. This is a sign of the joy that lovers experience from meeting each other. The candles burning in the hands of the newlyweds embody the chastity of the newlyweds, the fiery and pure mutual love that they must nourish from now on, as well as the abiding grace of God.
After the sacrament, the candles remain with the newlyweds
. They should be kept at home near icons or in another secluded pious place and the symbol of marriage should be lit in connection with some important and joyful events, on marriage anniversaries or, conversely, if difficult times come. There is a belief that wedding candles can ease difficult childbirth.
How much are
On average, a set of candles costs from 300 to 1000 rubles.
Handkerchiefs for candles
Which ones are better to choose?
First of all, they should be white or light colors. These can be handkerchiefs or fabric napkins, with lace, embroidery or simpler ones. You can often buy specially made pot holders in church shops.
What are they for?
The tradition of covering the hands with a scarf has been around for centuries. But this is done more for practical reasons - so that they do not get dirty and burnt with wax.
How much are
The cost of special potholders is approximately 800–1000 rubles. Regular handkerchiefs or cloth napkins are much cheaper.
What icons are needed for a wedding?
Which ones are better to choose?
These should be the faces of the Savior and the Mother of God - separately or in the form of a folding icon, that is, a folding icon made of two parts. The choice of such icons, it turns out, is also varied. They differ in size (from 7×12 and larger), shape (arched or rectangular), design (in a plastic, wooden or other frame; brass, metallized, gold-plated, etc.; with embossing, silk-screen printing, enamel, velvet; in a case and without it, etc.).
What are they for?
With their help, the priest blesses the bride and groom. In former times, images were brought from the parental home and this is how the home shrine was passed on from generation to generation
.
Nowadays, icons of the Savior and the Mother of God are purchased in advance by the parents of the newlyweds in the church shop and given to the priest before the start of the ceremony. If the parents do not participate in the marriage, the young people do it themselves.
How much are
The price range is quite wide. The cost depends on the size and materials and ranges from 50 to 20,000 rubles.
Wedding towel – “foot”
Which one is better to choose?
The towel on which the newlyweds will ascend at the altar should be white or pink.
In the past, the bride and groom could only kneel, but nowadays they usually stand on a towel with their feet, because there is a belief that you don’t need to choose a towel with the image of rings or a pair of birds as a wedding towel: it’s better to opt for a geometric pattern or floral ornament around the edges. And the center of the canvas - the symbolic place of God - must be “clean”.
A towel with hemstitch or lace is not suitable for marriage: they deprive family life of integrity. The canvas should not be interrupted, just as the life together of the spouses should not be interrupted.
What is it needed for
This attribute of the wedding ceremony is a symbol of unity and purity of married life. It is spread out near the lectern and serves as a footstool for the bride and groom; on it, the young, as if on a cloud, ascend to the Kingdom of Heaven to bless their marriage.
After the ceremony, the towel most often remains with the newlyweds: it is kept in the family as a memory and decorates the house on anniversaries and anniversaries.
What is the price
A wedding towel with embroidery costs on average from 500 to 2000 rubles, a simple towel costs less.
What rings are needed for a wedding?
Which ones are better to choose?
Traditionally, the bride and groom's rings should be made of different precious metals: his - gold, hers - silver (then the young couple will exchange them during the sacrament). This difference is symbolic.
Nowadays, this rule is not always observed, and wedding rings can even have precious stones. Therefore, the choice of jewelry completely depends on the taste and financial capabilities of the groom: according to tradition, it is he who should buy the rings - preferably on the same day and in the same place.
What are they for?
Rings are the central attribute of engagement. Before the ceremony begins, they lie on the holy throne on the right - in front of the face of Jesus Christ. Thus, by touching the holy throne, they receive the power of sanctification and the ability to bring God’s blessing to the newlyweds. And the fact that the rings lie next to each other means mutual love and spiritual unity of the bride and groom.
This is a multi-valued symbol
. Firstly, a sign of the indissolubility, limitlessness and eternity of the marriage union. Secondly, the embodiment of the sun, to which the husband is likened; silver represents the moon - a smaller luminary that emits light reflected from the sun.
The actions performed with the rings during the sacrament also have important sacred meaning. Thus, the exchange of jewelry speaks of love and willingness to sacrifice everything and help throughout life - on the part of the groom, and of love and devotion, readiness to accept this help throughout life - on the part of the bride.
How much are
The price of wedding rings will depend on the metal from which they are made (you should not choose a combination of metals, as this is considered a bad omen) and the presence or absence of precious stones.
Wedding set
Which one is better to choose?
The range of wedding sets today is also very wide. They differ in the number of items, style and cost. The set usually includes a towel, towels, napkins for wedding rings, and potholders for candles.
What is it needed for
Buying a wedding set will save the bride and groom from having to purchase all textile wedding accessories separately, selecting them by color and design, and will save them precious time
.
What is the price
On average, a set of 4 items costs 1000–2000 rubles, and of 7 – 3000–5000 rubles.
Red wine
Which one is better to choose?
“Cahors” or “Sherry” are bought as a drink for the “cup of fellowship” ritual.
.
What is it for?
The red wine offered by the priest to the young is a symbol of their true love: the fresh water of their true feelings should turn into a strong drink from year to year.
What is the price
A bottle of good Cahors or Spanish sherry can cost from 700 to 7000 rubles.
What else should you take to church?
In addition to everything listed above, newlyweds should take with them the following documents and items:
- Passports
. - Marriage certificate
(except for those rare cases when the wedding - in agreement with the priest - precedes registration with the registry office). - Pectoral crosses
(they should hang on the neck).
