The tradition of wedding ransom in Rus'
This interesting custom has come down to us from ancient times. Slavic youths tried to choose a bride from another tribe. At first, we simply had to win back the girl . Later, the violent path was replaced by peaceful negotiations and exchange for valuable things, for example, furs, precious stones.
"Wedding ransom" by Konstantin Trutovsky (1881)
In Rus', ransom was a test for the future husband, a test of his ingenuity, dexterity and generosity. The ritual itself began from the moment the groom arrived at the bride’s house. The native girls created various obstacles: they could block the road with a huge log that needed to be sawed.
There were often fist fights that took place between relatives of the newlyweds. In addition to strength, the groom had to show intelligence and resourcefulness : he guessed riddles, sang, danced. All tests were designed to ensure that the betrothed revealed his positive qualities.
The groom always showed generosity : he treated the bride’s relatives and village children with sweets, and brought gifts to the girl herself.
Wedding ransom
The traditional Slavic ritual of wedding ransom, called brane, was a real performance according to a specific scenario, where everyone had their own role. This action involved overcoming a number of obstacles, in which the strength, dexterity, ingenuity and generosity of the groom and his witness, formerly called the groom, were tested.
Although in different parts of Rus' the wedding ransom had its own characteristics, they were all, to one degree or another, based on the same basis. The tradition of swearing in a somewhat modernized form exists to this day, only rural landscapes are increasingly being replaced by the decorations of the entrances of high-rise buildings, and on the wedding train, cars have taken the place of drawn carts.
How is the ritual carried out nowadays?
There are quite a lot of options for ransom scenarios today. You can find them on the Internet or even create an individual script to order. However, certain points are repeated in each of them.
Let's look at how this usually happens:
- Meeting of the groom and his friends by the witness or bridesmaids.
- Explanation of the conditions of the “game”.
- Carrying out tasks by the groom.
- Payback in case of incorrect completion of a task.
- Upon completion of all tasks, permission to meet the bride.
- Small buffet.
Usually the ransom is organized by girlfriends or close relatives of the young woman . They prepare competitions, riddles, and all the paraphernalia necessary for them in advance. Everyone can participate in the action itself: the groom and his retinue are the most active participants, the rest are assistants or spectators .
Participant Roles
- The groom completes tasks, treats his girlfriends with sweets or champagne, and pays off if he cannot answer a question correctly.
- Friends (brothers) from the groom’s side help in competitions, provide refreshments, and help the groom with money if a payoff is needed.
- Girlfriends, witnesses, sisters draw up a script and conduct all the competitions; they do not allow the groom to see his beloved until he completes all the tasks.
- The bride helps her bridesmaids when drawing up questions, for example, about some dates, sizes, etc. On the wedding day, the groom is expected in a secret place.
- The bride's parents can hold the latest competitions on the way to the bride, and then hand over their daughter into the hands of the future husband. They also organize a buffet and welcome guests.
- Matchmakers (parents of the groom) can also offer their help either to their son in completing tasks or in preparing food for everyone.
Cutting a goat
In the old days, the groom's wedding train, traveling for the bride, was stopped for the first time at the entrance to the village, where a chain of fellow villagers and future relatives lined up, blocking the road and demanding a ransom for its opening. Having paid them, the groom found himself in front of logs folded in the shape of a goat, which had to be sawed in a specified time in order to demonstrate to everyone his brave prowess.
Having completed the task, the wedding train set off further to meet its beloved. Sometimes, on the way to the bride’s house, funny fist fights were held between the newlyweds’ guests, in which the groom’s relatives won a symbolic victory.
Where to spend it?
Traditionally, the ceremony was held in the bride's house. Now many continue to follow this custom, meeting the groom on the threshold of the newlywed's house. However, this is not the only place where a ransom can be arranged.
When deciding on the location of the event, do not forget about its festive decor. You can use ribbons, balloons, fresh or artificial flowers, photographs of the newlyweds.
Where can you conduct a ransom other than at home?
- In the fresh air . The picturesque corner of the park will allow you to organize the action itself in an interesting way and take beautiful photographs. The bride can be hidden in a cute gazebo.
- On the territory of a country house . The house does not have to belong to the bride; you can simply rent it or ask friends to provide a house for a while.
- In a spacious hotel room . Often, young people book a room for a photo shoot, including for getting ready for the bride before the wedding. The ransom can also be carried out there. You just need to check with the administration whether they will be against such an event.
- In the mall . Original girlfriends can make a ransom in the form of a quest for the groom, forcing him to walk through different departments in search of his betrothed.
Important! When choosing a place for a ransom, consider its location. It should be as close as possible to the bride's gathering place.
Matchmakers
Fedor Krichevsky. Matchmakers (fragment). 1928. National Art Museum of Ukraine, Kyiv, Ukraine
Konstantin Makovsky. Matchmaker (fragment). 1900s Private collection
Nikolay Pymonenko. Matchmakers (fragment). 1882. Krasnodar Regional Art Museum named after F.A. Kovalenko, Krasnodar
At balls one could look after the bride and groom and have fun, but parties were not suitable for finding out details about the family, rank and size of the dowry. Before the advent of marriage agencies, parents of young people turned to matchmakers for help for this purpose. In the 19th century, this was an absolutely common thing for city residents: officials, industrialists, wealthy townspeople and merchants. The market for matchmakers was large; each family could choose a matchmaker according to their wallet or even class.
The matchmakers had their own card index of brides and grooms - a list of girls and young men of marriageable age, indicating the age and size of the dowry. They offered their services and constantly visited those families where help was needed with a profitable match. For their work, matchmakers received from 10 to 25 rubles (a teacher, for example, earned about 70 rubles a month) and a traditional gift from the family that hired her - an elegant shawl. By the number of shawls one could judge the professionalism of the matchmaker.
How to prepare for the groom?
To prevent the ransom from turning into a real torment for the groom, he needs to think through some points in advance .
- Check with your girlfriends whether you will need any specific items for the sale.
- Stock up on sweets, chocolate, champagne, fruit.
- Carry cash with you. It can be bills, coins, antique or even fake money.
- Prepare informatively: remember important dates together, names of relatives, clothing sizes, lover’s shoes, etc.
- You can prepare tips with affectionate names and characteristics of your beloved.
- Find out the exact time when he should arrive for ransom and its approximate duration.
- Bring with you creative and resourceful friends who will not get confused in any competition.
Tips for organizers
The success of the event will largely depend on the preparation, and therefore on the bridesmaids organizing the ransom. What is important for them to take into account when deciding on the action scenario?
- The venue should be considered taking into account the aesthetic properties of the room. An old entrance with numerous inscriptions on the walls will not be the best option. An alternative could be ransom on the street.
- There is no need to stretch out the ransom over time. 20-30 minutes will be more than enough.
- Options for scenarios can be found on the Internet, but it will be more interesting to adapt them to suit your couple.
- There is no need to get sophisticated in competitions and torment the groom. It is not advisable to offer tasks related to serious physical activity, drinking alcohol, or trying low-edible foods.
- The ransom should not turn into an outright money grab.
- The personal qualities of the groom should also be taken into account. A shy person should not be offered tasks of an ambiguous nature.
- It is necessary to think over alternative options for competitions and be prepared for unforeseen circumstances.
The emergence of a tradition
Since ancient times in Rus', brides and their mothers have been preparing for their wedding. It started when a girl appeared in the family. The size of the dowry directly depended on the attitude towards the bride from the relatives of her future husband. Even feelings faded into the background; the main demands were made specifically for the wealth that was offered for the newlywed. If the family was relatively wealthy, the bride’s parents felt confident, since no one could blame their daughter for anything (that she came prepared for everything).
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If the family was poor, they had to collect everything they needed bit by bit so that the girl could come to her husband’s house and present everything she needed for housework. In the absence of a dowry, the newlywed had a hard time, since the hardest housework fell on her shoulders. A woman had to unquestioningly fulfill all responsibilities for caring for children, her husband and all his relatives.
What to replace the ransom with?
Bride price is a tradition that many couples adhere to. However, it is not strictly mandatory. The newlyweds have the right to decide for themselves whether they need this action. Time flies very quickly on your wedding day. If you are not adherents of ancient customs, then it is better to spend precious minutes on a beautiful photo shoot together.
There are also interesting modern alternatives . What can replace the classic buyout?
- In an original way, the “reverse ransom” (or “groom’s ransom”) takes place, when the bride is asked to overcome certain obstacles in order to get to her lover.
- "Parallel" buyback . The bride and groom perform tasks simultaneously, demonstrating their best qualities and proving that they are worthy of each other.
- Quest for the groom . This option will require more time both for preparation and implementation. It is associated with the movement of the groom and his retinue around the city, district, shopping center, searching for clues and completing tasks.
- Romantic meeting in nature. Young people can agree in advance to meet in a certain place, for example, on a park bench. For such a meeting, we recommend inviting a photographer and/or videographer to capture the event.
- Meeting through the window . Particularly impatient and brave grooms can try to bypass obstacles in this way and get straight to their beloved. You shouldn't show excessive heroism if the bride lives on a high floor!
End of the first wedding day
The first wedding day did not last long. After several changes of dishes, the groom stood up and bowed. And my friend invited everyone to the next wedding day. Next, the young people were taken to the room where the marriage bed was prepared. The celebration usually still continued, but the guests could leave at any time without offending the hosts.
There was no single ritual for the first wedding night. Everything depended on the region. Somewhere the bride and groom were not touched until they themselves notified that everything had worked out for them. In some places they were periodically visited and told what was being done and how. This was mainly the responsibility of the matchmaker.
In the morning, the couple went to the bathhouse together, and then returned to the wedding feast, where they were presented with gifts. The newlyweds had to give “gifts” to relatives, guests and wedding officials. The vodka on this day became bitter, and the bride and groom had to constantly kiss to sweeten it.
Typically, peasant weddings were not celebrated for more than two days. If the wedding was for rich people, they could feast for a few more days, but without traditional actions and without the newlyweds. At this time, young people paid visits to relatives or visited holy places.
Since the 18th century, wedding rituals began to be simplified, primarily in wealthy families. But if you look at modern weddings, you will notice that many rituals have survived to this day. This gives the wedding a special sacrament.
Is it necessary to have a buffet?
Traditionally, after the lovers have united, guests are offered a small treat. You shouldn’t have a feast, but light snacks in the form of sandwiches, canapés, fruit, wine and champagne will be very appropriate.
The groom and his friends and the rest of the ransom participants may get hungry, so you should not neglect organizing a buffet table. In addition, for everyone it will be a little respite before an important event.
Of course, if you choose an alternative redemption option, for example, a meeting in the park or a quest, then the buffet can be omitted.
Examples from weddings (photos)
Below in the photographs you will see how buybacks usually take place (both traditional and unusual options):
Ransom in quest format (video)
The bride's friends prepared a very unusual test for the groom. Quest in the summer, this is an excellent alternative to ransoming at the entrance or house (wedding of Mukhamet and Leysan, Ufa):
Whether to follow ancient traditions or not is up to each couple to decide for themselves. If you like Russian customs, then you need to carefully prepare for the ransom. All participants in the action should know their roles and the approximate scenario, then the event will be fun and interesting.
Supporters of modern trends can turn to alternative options, because creating your own traditions is no less exciting.
