The tradition of giving an engagement ring: why buy it, how to choose and wear it correctly


Usually, a marriage proposal is accompanied by a gift desired by every girl - a diamond ring. This is an important event, after which a new stage of the relationship begins, so you need to be properly prepared for it. In the article we will tell you how engagement jewelry appeared, what they mean, what kind of engagement ring should be, how to choose it and wear it correctly.

When did the tradition of giving engagement rings begin?

The custom of giving an engagement ring appeared in the states of the Ancient World, but in those days it had nothing to do with romance. First, the heads of the families of the bride and groom agreed on the upcoming wedding, after which the engagement ceremony or betrothal followed.

The ceremony symbolized the decision made, and the groom's family, as a sign of securing the agreement reached, made a deposit, part of which was a ring for the bride. The decoration on the girl’s finger told other suitors for her hand and heart that she was busy. In medieval European states this custom was preserved.

How does the engagement go?

A man usually makes only a short speech addressed to his beloved. Usually he talks about his feelings, intentions and asks his partner: “Do you want to marry me?” If she answers “Yes!” — the engagement is closed. By the way, today a couple is automatically considered engaged after submitting an application for marriage registration at the registry office.

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The procedure can be informal and only requires the consent of both partners. But there are no legally binding requirements that must be met, so if the partners change their minds, no one can force them to get married. Moreover, the couple does not have to be of age to get engaged. Parental consent is also not a prerequisite for engagement.

However, the custom of a man wishing to marry first asking the permission of the bride's parents is still widespread. This is a sign of gratitude to the bride's parents.

Engagement Ring Meaning

When girls gained the right to make their own decisions about marriage, the engagement ring became a symbol of voluntary consent to a marriage proposal. On the part of the groom, such a gift is a sign of seriousness of intentions.

Pragmatic Americans and Europeans still believe that an engagement ring is a guarantee of the material well-being of the future spouse and his ability to support his family. According to established tradition, its cost should not be less than two months’ earnings.

Nowadays, engagement jewelry for a bride is a romantic attribute that signifies love, purity, fidelity and sincerity in a relationship. A marriage proposal can be made without a ring, but then a beautiful tradition will be broken. An engagement ring is every girl's cherished dream, so don't ruin it.

Wedding and engagement ring - what's the difference?

An engagement ring and a wedding ring have different meanings. If an engagement ring is a sign of a man’s intentions, which is presented before the wedding ceremony, and is intended only for a girl, then an engagement ring is a symbol of starting a family.

The man buys the engagement ring himself, as it should be a surprise for the bride. Future newlyweds can choose wedding rings together to exchange on their wedding day.

A classic wedding piece is a sleek gold ring. The design is convenient from a practical point of view, because it is usually worn constantly and rarely taken off. An engagement ring involves the presence of a central element - a precious stone.

From antiquity to the present day

The meaning of a wedding ring has changed throughout its history from antiquity to the present day. In ancient times, it was believed that the ring finger had a direct connection with the heart, so a loved one would put the ring on the left hand, on the side of the heart. It was a sign of endless love and eternal connection.

Already in the Middle Ages, a woman received a promise ring as a guarantee of a future marriage. It was taken so seriously that women were prohibited from wearing the ring just for fun. Later, so-called double rings appeared. A pair of rings that can be worn together. The man wore his until marriage, then gave it to the woman, who wore it as an engagement ring.

Today, the engagement ring is an integral part of the official wedding announcement. In Europe, only women traditionally wear promise rings. Usually a man chooses a ring and buys it.

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How to choose an engagement ring

Buying an engagement ring is a responsible event for the groom, since the jewelry should express his feelings and please the girl he loves. What kind of ring is given so that the bride agrees to a marriage proposal:

  • Metal. The classic option is gold, which can be red, yellow or white. The decoration can also combine gold of different colors.

  • Stone. A ring with a large diamond is a win-win option. The cut can be different - marquise, princess, heart, pear, square, etc. In addition to the central element, there may be a path of stones.

  • Form. Engagement rings are also subject to fashion changes. At different times, both thin headbands with a solitaire stone and massive jewelry with a scattering of stones were popular. When choosing a shape, it is better to rely on the preferences of the bride, taking a closer look at what rings are already in her jewelry box.


From the history of diamond engagement rings

Have you ever wondered how the diamond engagement ring became a superstar in the jewelry world? Jewelry Insider, an online blog dedicated to the art of jewelry, offers a sneak peek into this ascent.

Because of their beauty, strength and durability, diamonds have for centuries symbolized the eternal love of two people who choose to marry.

The tradition of giving a diamond engagement ring is believed to date back to 1477, when Archduke Maximilian of Austria gave Mary of Burgundy a diamond ring. It became a tradition among royalty and the wealthy classes, and over the next few centuries it spread to the upper classes throughout the world.

However, giving a diamond engagement ring as a symbol of engagement only became a truly widespread tradition when gemstones became more accessible to a wider range of people. It began in 1870 with the opening of diamond mines in South Africa. These new sources of diamonds flooded the market and led to the creation of the De Beers conglomerate, which operated the international diamond supply chain. In its early decades, the De Beers dynasty thrived on diamond sales in Europe, the United States and other key global markets.

However, by the late 1930s, as the United States and much of Europe were emerging from the Great Depression and Europe was on the brink of World War II, demand for diamonds had fallen to an all-time low. Then the De Beers diamond magnate Sir Ernest Oppenheimer sent his son Harry to New York to negotiate with the advertising agency NW Ayer. The plan was to transform American tastes, which gravitated towards small, low-quality stones, and create a true luxury market in the country that would consume higher quality gems no longer in demand in Europe. The joint efforts of Ayer and the younger Oppenheimer resulted in the "Diamonds Are Forever" campaign, which helped transform the United States into the world's premier market for gem-quality diamonds. The successful campaign also cemented the diamond's status as the engagement ring stone in America.

Here are some more interesting historical facts related to engagement rings:

The tradition of wearing both an engagement and wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand comes from the Greek belief that a certain vein in this finger, the vena amoris (vein of love), goes directly to the heart.

In the Middle Ages, men often wore an engagement ring behind their hat band so that they would always be ready to give it to the girl of their choice.

Rings engraved with love poems and messages were popular engagement rings from the Middle Ages to Victorian times.

A popular style of engagement ring during the Renaissance was called "Gimmel" or couple rings. The ring usually consisted of two (or three) interlocking rings: one worn by the bride, another by the groom-to-be (and sometimes a third worn by the best man). All three parts were combined on the wedding day into one wedding ring. It was this gimmel ring with an engraved inscription that was used during the wedding of Martin Luther and Katherine Bora in 1525.

The smallest known engagement ring in history was given to the two-year-old Princess Mary, daughter of Henry the Eighth, on the occasion of her engagement to the infant Dauphin of France, son of King Francis the First, in 1518. Mary's tiny gold ring was set with a diamond.

An engagement ring with a group of diamonds in the shape of an oblong oval was popular during the time of Louis XVI (1754-1793) and remained in fashion for another 150 years.

In the 17th and 18th centuries, hearts were a popular motif for engagement and wedding rings. Such rings often combined rubies (a symbol of love) and diamonds (a symbol of eternity).

Even though diamonds were increasingly taking over the bridal jewelry market, rings with colored gemstones were still quite popular in the 18th and 19th centuries. Often, from the first letters of the names of stones, a word or the name of the donor was made up: for example, the word “dearest” - the most expensive - was made up of diamond, emerald, amethyst, ruby, epidote ), sapphire and turquoise.

Queen Victoria's (1819-1901) engagement ring was shaped like a snake. The snake was considered a symbol of good luck.

Tiffany's solitaire ring, a single diamond, came into use in the late nineteenth century.

The "princess ring", a type of English engagement ring with three to five large diamonds in a line, was popular in the United States in the early twentieth century. Recently, the three-stone ring has come back into fashion.

In the early twentieth century, platinum was a popular metal for engagement rings due to its strength and durability when combined with diamond. However, during the Second World War, platinum was declared a strategic metal and its use was limited to military purposes. This has led to an increased role for yellow and white gold in wedding jewelry.

The famous "Diamonds Are Forever" advertising campaign helped set many of today's standards for diamond engagement rings, including the "two months' salary" rule - which requires the prospective groom to spend two months' earnings on an engagement ring for the bride-to-be.

What signs are associated with an engagement ring?

There are many superstitions associated with the engagement ring:

  • You cannot buy jewelry with certain types of stones. For example, pearls, which can cause tears and sadness, opal, which attracts misfortune to the family, black stones, which bring negativity into relationships.
  • During a leap year, the groom should not give the ring at the bride's house. It is better to propose in a restaurant or any other romantic place.
  • In Rus', girls spoke a ring, asking the morning sun for endless love.
  • The bride must wear the engagement ring until the wedding ceremony. If you remove it or drop it, there will be trouble.

Tradition, individuality and meaning versus value

While in many countries the cost of an engagement ring depends, for example, on the man's income, in Russia more importance is attached to the ring that the woman likes. Of course, the choice of material and size of diamonds also play an important role in this country, but for most women, individual style is important. And of course, most of them consider the traditional meaning of the ring to be important. They wear it as a symbol of undying love and devotion to their partner.

Giving promise rings is still trending. In most countries this tradition is quite young. As they say, everything new is well forgotten old. In the past, the custom was lost; promises were made verbally, and rings were worn only in the registry office. In addition, a precious metal ring with diamonds was simply too expensive for ordinary people, and no one wanted to give simple jewelry anymore.

But after the 1950s, wages began to rise, and more and more men were able to give their loved ones a precious ring. The ritual quickly spread among rich people and again became a tradition. The number of couples in which at least one of the two partners has an engagement ring has been steadily increasing since the 1970s.

What's the beauty of this trend? A man has the opportunity to surprise his partner and please her. Today, more than 90% of grooms give a ring on their engagement day and only wear the ring on their wedding day. This ensures that the romantic custom is not quickly forgotten. Young people love to emulate the customs of celebrities, and so the next generation is likely to continue the tradition of presenting promise rings.

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Are engagement rings given to men?

Historically, wearing an engagement ring has been the preserve of women. But modern brides can break this stereotype. If the lover does not dare to offer his hand and heart, the girl can do it for him. The most important thing is that a man should not be against such a gift.

When choosing a ring for the groom, it is better to adhere to several rules:

  • strict and laconic design:
  • minimum number of decorative elements;
  • if a stone is expected, it should be small.

What ring to give for engagement?

In most cases, the engagement ring is a thin, elegant band with a small stone. It is not customary to give engagement rings with cubic zirconia; it is better to choose a modest but real stone - emerald, diamond. You can opt for a ring with aquamarine, the delicate shade of which will emphasize the purity of the groom’s intentions.


Although today young people are free from conventions, and if the budget does not allow you to give the bride an expensive gift, then you can buy some original, non-standard ring made of silver.

Is it necessary to buy a diamond engagement ring?

The tradition of presenting engagement rings with diamonds developed thanks to a successful marketing move by the American corporation De Beers, which was involved in the mining, processing and sale of diamonds. At the end of the 19th century, large deposits were found in South Africa, and a real diamond rush began. The number of offers on the market has increased, and diamonds have become cheaper.

The company's owners decided to motivate Americans to buy diamond jewelry. For this purpose, a beautiful legend was invented about engagement rings with these stones, surrounded by a romantic aura. Since then, the tradition has become firmly rooted in society.

Nowadays, an engagement ring is a piece of jewelry that can be set with any stone. But if the groom does not know the bride’s preferences, it is better to opt for diamonds. You should not consider the jewelry to be banal - you can always choose a ring of an unusual shape, which will differ from the standard options.

Once again about the engagement ring

Let's not repeat that an engagement ring is different from a wedding ring and has its own function. Let's take a closer look at what an ideal engagement ring looks like.

Traditional engagement rings are made of white gold and set with diamonds. There are no specific standards for these categories of rings.


It can be smooth, embossed, wide or thin... Basically, an engagement ring is a thin strip of gold with a large (or not very large) diamond.

Some modern grooms are moving away from the accepted tradition of giving a ring with a mandatory diamond. They rely on the taste and preferences of their bride.


Instead of a diamond, rings with emeralds, sapphires, amethysts, rubies, and so on are chosen. You can also opt for jewelry with a large colored stone or a scattering of small precious stones. In any case, the gift is not cheap.

Celebrity Engagement Rings

Celebrities spend incredible amounts of money on engagement rings because it is part of their image and reputation. A few of the most iconic pieces:

  • Grace Kelly's ring received from Prince Rainier III of Monaco. This is a white gold engagement ring with a 10.5 carat emerald cut diamond. Cost: $4.3 million.

  • Ring given by Richard Burton to Elizabeth Taylor. The 33-carat diamond jewelry sold for $8.8 million after Taylor's death.

  • The jewelry that Jay Z gave to Beyoncé. Made from platinum and set with an 18-carat diamond. This engagement ring is worth over $5 million.

  • Mariah Carey's ring, presented by Australian billionaire James Packer. A 35-carat diamond worth $10 million.

  • Kate Middleton became the owner of a more modest piece of jewelry that previously belonged to Princess Diana. This engagement ring is made of white gold, featuring a 12 carat sapphire surrounded by 14 diamonds.

What you need to know when buying an engagement ring

  • A practical engagement ring is jewelry made of platinum or 585 gold, since they are less susceptible to mechanical damage. 18k rings have a higher gold content but are softer - a good option for engagement jewelry if it won't be worn all the time.
  • The weight of diamonds is measured in carats. One carat is a fifth of a gram. Small diamonds weigh up to 0.29 carats, medium ones - from 0.3 to 0.99 carats, large ones - 1 carat or more.
  • The clarity of a diamond depends on the presence of foreign inclusions. Most often they are invisible to the naked eye, but are reflected in the cost of the stone. The clarity of small diamonds is rated on a scale from 1 to 9, while large diamonds are graded on a scale of 1 to 12.
  • Most diamonds are colorless, but some are yellow, pink, red or blue.
  • Expensive rings with large diamonds are sold with accompanying documents indicating the place of production, shape, size, proportions, weight, color, clarity, and cut quality.

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Proposing with a ring in the Middle Ages

It is reliably known that in 1477, the Austrian Archduke Maximilian gave Mary of Burgundy a diamond ring. Subsequently, this became a tradition among representatives of royal families and wealthy classes.

In the Victorian era, there was a tradition of giving rings with various precious and other stones, the first letters in the name of which formed the name of the donor or formed some other word with a hidden meaning.

At all times, wedding and engagement rings were worn on the ring finger, since even the ancient Romans believed that it was inside this finger that the “vein of love” ran, which led to a person’s heart.

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