Pre-wedding depression in the bride: causes, how to cope

Definition of the concept

Runaway bride syndrome is a whole complex of negative personality traits associated with anxiety and suspiciousness of character, preventing a person from experiencing positive emotions about the possible creation of a family.

In order to clarify the features of gamophobia, you should look at the problem in more detail. A guy and a girl meet and everything is fine with them: romance blooms in full bloom, love grows stronger day by day, and thoughts of even a short-term separation drive them into a depressed state. After some time, the lovers decide to legitimize their relationship and build their own “unit of society.”

It seems that everything is wonderful and everything was going towards this. But! After some time, the woman in love begins to change. Why suddenly? The whole point lies in the phrase “it’s hard to get married, no matter how married you get.” Romantic relationships themselves do not inspire her with fear and are perceived with joy and trepidation, but the very thought of routine everyday life as a housewife can cause internal discord, even leading to a panic attack.

We can talk for a long time about the fact that the desire to be a wife and mother is embedded in the fair sex at the genetic level, but this will not make the problem disappear. If you begin to notice the emergence of fears about your future family life and the birth of children, then you should not ignore this condition. Otherwise, gamophobia can only worsen over time and then it will be almost impossible to cope with it.

Important If you believe the statistics, one out of ten brides can cancel the wedding at the very last moment. This is due to suspiciousness and fear of future marriage.

Causes of the syndrome

Before looking for ways to overcome fear, it is necessary to understand what exactly caused its formation. Most often, the problem lies in those attitudes that were instilled in early childhood. A negative example of parental interaction is quite capable of acting as a factor that will turn you away from even the thought of family life.

There are several reasons that could lead to a girl who is hitherto in love abandoning her fiancé at the door of the registry office, thereby humiliating him personally and offending the invited guests. Among the most common, it is worth noting the following:

• Increased anxiety. Not everyone can boast of self-confidence and their abilities. Some people are characterized by suspiciousness and anxiety. Such people may be afraid of drastic changes in their lives, and a wedding is one of the most terrible experiences for them.
• Family education. In this case, we are talking about single-parent families in which the woman is forced to bear everything on herself. An eternally tired mother, cursing the time she spent on her ex-husband, not having the opportunity to enjoy life, forced to work like crazy just to provide her children with an acceptable standard of living - this is the image that can become the emergency stop valve that will work at the most crucial moment.
• Rose-colored glasses removed. Very often, girls in love do not notice any shortcomings in their chosen ones. It seems to them that their life partner is the kindest and most caring, the strongest and most reliable, and nothing can change this. However, time passes and insight nevertheless comes and the previously “sinless” lover no longer appears as a knight in shining armor. It turns out that he has bad habits and is characterized by selfish impulses.
• Question of money. You can talk a lot about the fact that heaven is in the hut with your dear one, but when it comes to starting a family, the notorious issue of finances can become a stumbling block. If the chosen one earns little, then the thought of having to live by counting every penny may turn him away from the wedding.
• Lack of common interests. Love is a wonderful and bright feeling, but it won’t get you far if the partners don’t have common interests. It is impossible to build a strong family if the spouses are not united by common goals and objectives. It is unlikely that a woman will want to connect her life with a man who has no ambitions and who does not support his life partner in her endeavors.
• Fear of losing freedom. Love is love, but marriage imposes many obligations that significantly limit both spouses. In a civil marriage, you can live without thinking too much about the future, and being guided solely by your desires. After registering a marriage, you will have to put your personal needs last and act for the benefit of common needs. And when children appear, the number of obligations will only increase.

Important If a woman truly loves, then she will not pay attention to his shortcomings. A loved one should be accepted as he is.

Fourth phobia. Single friends and habits of single life

There are men who perceive a wedding as a betrayal of their own self, and even more so, as a betrayal of their friends. If in the company in which your fiancé is used to spending all his time, all his friends are still single, then these same friends may not always understand that your fiancé has met his love and wants to connect his life with her. If he decides to tell them everything, he may be laughed at or, even worse, his friends may simply be offended. It is precisely such complications in his relationships with friends that can cause the wedding to be postponed.

Many men think that after marriage they will become completely different. Their friendship, which they treasured so much, will also change. They will no longer be able to spend as much time with their friends as they would like, they will have to stop partying until the morning and the habit of flirting with beautiful girls in the bar, and they will have to forget other “male” fun. Friends also do not always help bring clarity to your relationship. Some may approve of your marriage, but there may also be those who will begin to dissuade you from getting married and try to alienate your loved one from you.

What will happen to this phobia after the wedding? For the first few years, be prepared that your husband will devote quite a lot of time to his friends. Old habits will be difficult to break. And you are unlikely to find a common language with your husband’s friends. You can only wait and hope that your friends soon settle down and have their weddings. Then you will have companions in misfortune, and communication between couples will be more preferable.

Symptoms

Fear before a wedding is a normal phenomenon; preparation for a wedding involves many activities that the bride has to perform without departing from her daily routine. In such a situation, the body can “give a sign.” Under severe stress, the bride may experience health problems, depression, and apathy. Symptoms may also include:

• sadness and constant depression;
• disinterest;
• the bride does not enjoy her favorite activities;
• bad feelings;
• insomnia;
• lack of appetite.

Basic pre-wedding fears

Even if you love your future husband, and you have been in a relationship for several years, you cannot avoid worries before the wedding. The most common fears are:

• Fear that the celebration will not live up to expectations. Every girl from childhood imagines her wedding, because this is where all fairy tales about love end. Colorful pictures of happiness emerge in your head: the groom kisses the bride and tells her of love, the parents smile joyfully, and the guests look with tenderness at the ideal couple. Before marriage, a girl begins to fear that everything will happen completely differently than she planned: the holiday will turn out to be uninteresting, the guests will be bored, the dress will seem ugly, and the first dance will not be successful.
• Fear that the feelings are not mutual. The bride may begin to doubt the sincerity of the groom's feelings. This fear often appears if a man proposed to his bride because of her pregnancy.
• Fear that marriage will definitely end in divorce. This is driven by both the harsh reality (according to statistics, there is one divorce for every second wedding), and the real experience of friends and close relatives. There is nothing pleasant about dividing property or resolving child custody issues.
• Fear that the parents will be right and the marriage will be unsuccessful. Every mother and father wants the best for their daughter, which is why girls can often hear before the wedding that her loved one is not suitable for her, that he will not be able to provide her with everything she needs, that he will begin to cheat or leave her with the child. Doubt arises about the right choice of a man.
• Fear of how family life will develop after marriage. The bride may be afraid that she will become an unattractive housewife who spends most of her time in the kitchen.
• Fear of motherhood. A child requires attention and full care; for his sake, you have to sacrifice personal time, pushing your desires into the background. If previously a girl could go for a walk with her friends or go to the sea at any time, then when she becomes a mother, she will take into account the interests of the baby. Motherhood can cause great fear in women who are not ready for their previously independent and interesting lives to suddenly be filled with worries about a child.

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Fear of getting sick

This fear usually comes first. The bride is afraid of catching a cold, a severe cough, a fever, or a stuffy nose. Pimples may also “pop up” on the face, “critical days” may set in with a bad mood... If the bride often catches colds, it is better to schedule the wedding celebration for the warm period of the year, and also take immunostimulants. Don't forget about walking and outdoor sports. But if you have caught a cold in the last days before the wedding, do not aggravate the illness with depression, but treat it with a positive attitude and perseverance.

Is my fiance really my soulmate for life?

Even after a fairly long relationship with their loved one, many brides before marriage begin to doubt: “is this the right person?” They are trying to convince themselves: “Won’t we divorce him in a few years?” They go through all the negative traits of the future spouse. But it is worth remembering that shortcomings are a continuation, or the other side of our advantages. You voluntarily decided to start a family, out of love, your chosen one managed to make you happy - take care of this feeling! Believe that everything will be, although not perfect, good. Moreover, for any problems in marriage, there is now a lot of advice from psychologists and family therapists who can help you.

I'm not the most beautiful bride.

Many girls feel insecure about their attractiveness, especially on such exciting days. What if it starts to rain, the mascara will run, the snow-white dress will get dirty, the extra pounds will be obvious to everyone... To overcome this fear, take care of your appearance before the wedding. Take time to, without haste, relax, visit a beauty salon (massage, good hairdresser, cosmetologist, manicurist).

Just relax, entrusting the creation of a beautiful image to professionals. Make sure you hire a photographer in advance who can take narrative photos in any weather. Be on the safe side, don’t forget to take your cosmetics bag and perfume with you to the celebration. Be sure to get enough sleep before your wedding day. And relatives and the groom need to give the bride as many compliments as possible. Become irresistible, a happy state is the main thing, rejoice at your loved one next to you, and you will truly be one of the most beautiful brides.

Fear of force majeure

Suddenly we get stuck in a traffic jam, or, God forbid, in an accident. We'll be late to the registry office, the groom won't arrive, we'll forget something, we won't make it in time - any trouble can happen. But there is no need to worry on the most beautiful day of your life. To plan the celebration in detail, take a vacation from work a few days before the wedding. Involve your senior loved ones in preparing the holiday, ask them about their wedding experience, about all the nuances, what and how to do better. If finances allow, find a professional wedding planner, he will take care of most of your worries. The only serious problem is if the groom changes his mind and doesn’t come. But this, of course, will not happen if he was not dragged to the registry office by force. And if he is delayed due to unexpected circumstances, this is a completely solvable situation.

Why is all this needed?

Fear of change, everyday problems, loss of romance, limitation of personal space. The desire at the last moment to become a “runaway” bride from her own wedding.

It is human nature to be afraid of the new, the unknown. But unpredictability is the beauty of life. We have the power to change all circumstances for the better. Preparing a wedding together with your loved one is your first common task. Both boys and many girls want to pursue a career after marriage. Nobody wants to lose their social circle, interests, hobbies. In order to preserve the personal space of everyone in the family, it is necessary to discuss this with the future spouse before the wedding. The important thing here is to show respect for each other. A woman always wants to remain a “princess” who is pampered with flowers and gifts. It's up to you and your spouse to keep the romance alive in your relationship. Although living together destroys the acuteness of sensations, something else comes in return: husband and wife become family, halves for each other.

Young girls are often afraid that they will not cook well and will not cope with the housework. But here – there would be a desire, and experience will come. There is no need to make scandals over trifles - burnt food or dust on furniture.

Post-wedding depression, or Saying “Yes” to life

I'm sitting on a bench in an autumn park and warming my hands on a steaming cup of coffee from a thermos - my answer to a cardboard cup from Starbucks. There’s a laptop on my lap, my head is a mess. I rode my bike here so that in silence (and in the complete absence of the Internet) I could think about my life and the mess it was going into thanks to my efforts.

And here is my first deep thought - Viktor Frankl would be dissatisfied with me. You've probably heard about this heroic psychologist, an outstanding scientist who went through the hell of concentration camps during the war and lost almost all his loved ones there - his young wife, father, mother. In the camps, Viktor Frankl wrote the book “Saying Yes to Life” on scraps of paper, fabric and God knows what else. Psychologist in a concentration camp,” in which he outlined the essence of his philosophical view of the world and gave rise to a new trend and method in existential psychotherapy - logotherapy, otherwise called the psychology of meaning (I think here many will see a non-random connection with the divine Logos - Frankl wrote a lot about God and that it is He who helps a person in inhuman conditions to remain himself, without sliding to the level of an animal).

For Frankl, healing a person from mental wounds and gaining balance and harmony consisted precisely in the search and acquisition of meaning. It is to find your personal, individual answer to the question “Why do I live?” Frankl suggested looking for the answer to this question in the area of ​​life's calling. He liked to quote Nietzsche: “He who knows the why of living will overcome almost any how.” (By the way, in modern society “why” is often replaced by “how”, haven’t you noticed?)

It was the meaning, the key concept for Frankl, that I lost.

And then October was declared in the expensive magazine Matrony.RU as the month of overcoming...

And I suddenly realized that I had nothing special to overcome - and fell into a stupor.

We must, we must write about the meaning.

But first I'll complain.

It has been experimentally found that there is not only postpartum, but also post-wedding depression. My husband, a blacksmith, and I prepared for the wedding for exactly a year, a month and one day. At first I didn't like the ring he gave me for my engagement, and the poor guy had to look for another one. For a long time I couldn’t decide on the theme of the wedding and it took me forever to choose a dress with the help of a friend who is a fashion historian.

All in all, I was a real crazy bride.

All these months there was a giant Whatman paper hanging in the kitchen, entitled “Operation Ho-ho-ho” and covered from top to bottom with colored markers (“Souvenirs for guests!”, “Makeup artist!!!”, “Call the dressmaker!!!”). . There were magazine clippings everywhere: buttercups, flowers. I wanted a bouquet with peonies and printed out 50 pages of peony bouquets. And with ranunculi. And - just in case - with roses of either the Juliet color or variety.

I ordered souvenirs for friends and family in Novosibirsk and went to hell to pick up a heavy package. Two days before the wedding, the florist was glad that she completely forgot about my flowers (everything worked out, there were peonies, ranunculus, and the damn “Juliet” rose, but nerves, nerves!). The search for a photographer took two months (and after the wedding I cried over the photographs for two days because I thought I was scared).

I spotted a design for a wedding cake in the form of a stack of books on some English website (and the second cake weighs 8 kg, covered in shells, incredible beauty, we completely forgot it under the stairs and ended up having breakfast with it with the remains of the most persistent and extremely hungover guests) . We bought rolls of fabric to decorate the hall, booked a hotel for my dad, with whom I had miraculously reconciled a year before, recorded music, came up with a program, negotiated with the restaurant, rehearsed the wedding waltz (“Don’t push me this way, I’ll break!”) , frantically tried to tighten the budget, and again, and again... What can we say that we have been saving up all this year, denying ourselves everything?

The dressmaker finished the suit for the groom at four o'clock in the morning the night before the wedding. At five he, pale green, brought me a dress. The dressmaker died a heroic death at the veil stage, so I didn’t have a veil. But at that time I didn’t give a damn about anything anymore, because my conjunctivitis was starting to occur due to nervousness, and I was hysterically calling my doctor friend, trying to figure out what kind of thermonuclear drug to drop into my eye so that I wouldn’t get sick by the morning.

In general, as you already understand, all these months I was guided by the Great Goal. There was something to strive for. And in August of this year, I finally found myself at the altar, the groom picked me up in his arms at the exit from the temple, the guests enthusiastically slammed champagne...

Everything didn’t go as I had planned, but I will certainly never forget this day. For example, at the costume ball of literary heroes, which we decided to turn our holiday into, among other innocents, Pippi Longstocking and Tom Sawyer, Oscar Wilde and Bosie showed up and... stole the groom! I think there is no need to explain why. Hans and Gretel caught the Tooth Fairy in the garden and bit off her finger... Well, a lot of things happened. Except, perhaps, sad toasts, shouts of “Bitter!” and awkward moments (drunk uncle falls face first into salad).

Then we flew to sunny Greece, then went with friends to St. Petersburg. September passed unnoticed, and when I returned to the Matron ranks already quite a matron (that is, a married lady and potential mother of the family), it was already October. I cheerfully wrote to Lika that I was eager to go into battle, like a regimental horse that heard the sound of a battle trumpet... And I couldn’t write a single line. How stuck. The theme of the month was overcoming, and I kept looking at wedding photographs, leafing through the book of wishes - and could not overcome myself, although I desperately missed the readers. A strange apathy took possession of me, because the Great Goal - to get married, to have a beautiful wedding - had been achieved.

I didn't think that the first thing I would encounter at the beginning of my married life would be such a feeling of existential emptiness. In melodramas, the credits usually roll after the wedding, accompanied by sentimental music, while the audience sobs in gratitude. I didn’t wait for the credits, as you might guess. Everyday life began - with the same cleaning and cooking, with worsening chronic pain, with the arrival of autumn and bad weather, with the need to work to pay off debts after the wedding...

With everything that makes up the ordinary life of an ordinary person. And with the need to plan for the future. With the need to live

.

But here’s the problem – the future suddenly began to seem very homeless to me. My life plan never included a wedding, I didn’t imagine myself as a happy bride, and literally my whole life had to revolve around unsuccessful romances lasting 2-3 years, developing according to the following scenario: falling in love, chemistry and the madness of the first year, suffering (because I chose exclusively problematic or unavailable objects), painful separation. And all over again. Many people spend their whole lives spinning in this adrenaline wheel. Psychotherapy helped me get out.

But the therapist and I didn’t have time to figure out how to live on after the wedding, having found a stable, safe and trusting relationship: she flew to London to give birth, and I started sewing a white dress and forgot about everything in the world.

The wedding, contrary to my subconscious expectations, left behind nothing but a mountain of photographs and a pile of pleasant memories. I certainly believe that after the wedding a flame of grace began to glimmer in our union, but here’s a surprise! — I didn’t have the strength to support him.

The real depression began.

It was impossible to hide from the problem of loss of meaning either at school - my favorite institute was closed, or at work - I have such a freelance job that I have a lot of time to sit at home and think. I completely turned sour, and my ears began to become covered with green moss. I could almost see him in the mirror. My husband was also sad. He was tired of the hammer and the anvil, and in between forging, my Vulcan sent me sad SMS: “Life is hopeless.” This is two months after the wedding!

How, where?

These thoughts brought me to the autumn park.

And this is what I thought of, sitting on the bench and desperately trying to find meaning in what was happening. My husband and I are used to overcoming life's obstacles, love suffering, financial difficulties, family problems, health problems, other people's deaths - everything that has happened in our still rather short life.

But, finding ourselves in a situation where we both finally survived,

have
each other firmly and firmly
worry
about it every hour, we are at a loss.
We still don’t know how to live
: to calmly plan the future, without turning life into a Brazilian TV series and into an arms race, to think about children, about where to go, where to get your teeth treated and what to do in the evening.
The global and very unsightly question of life’s calling also arose before my eyes. Unsightly - because I’m turning 30 soon, and there’s still no answer to this question. We were busy surviving
.

survived can afford to seek a calling

who defended their right to exist and managed to ensure it. Such a person can now concern himself with the upper levels of Maslow’s pyramid. Maybe - but he doesn’t know how, if it’s about me or my spouse.

And so I diligently slide down - to my usual levels of searching for basic security. I come up with reasons for anxiety, in order to prevent myself and my husband from moving on, finally believing that everything is not just tolerable, but downright good. The psyche desperately resists change. I diligently prevent myself from raising my own bar, skillfully creating troubles for myself, for example, with health, and reasons for concern. And, of course, I don’t see any meaning in life - you can’t argue with the facts, and the facts show that I’m trying to go back, instead of moving forward, to go beyond my own comfort, to dare, even if I’m very scared to do it and I can’t believe at all that everything will work out.

Do you know this feeling of artificially inhibiting your own development? They say that the human body produces a special hormone, cortisol, when stressed. If stress continues for a long time (in the case of a Russian man or woman we read “the entire adult life”), then the body gets used to a certain – high – level of cortisol and does not allow the body to relax, perceiving a calm life situation as a threat. The psyche loves stability, even if it is stability with a minus sign. And it begins: hypochondria, problems arising out of nowhere, psychosomatics creeping in from everywhere, fear of nuclear war and global warming. We are afraid to believe that everything could be normal

and that you can
live
, and yet we are perhaps the first generation in the last hundred years that has had such an illusory chance.

In this article, as you may have noticed, there are no answers - only questions. How can I re-tune myself to a calmer wave? Where can I get motivation for further active work? Why does life without tangible difficulties seem so bland? What scares the world and what does war entail? Why am I finally so afraid to look for my calling? These are questions for the therapist, in fact, and for myself, but I will ask them to you, dear readers, because, in a good way, these are the questions that we should more often actualize in ourselves - and because I really value and your opinion is important. How, having overcome, stop overcoming in time and finally begin to enjoy life in all its fullness?

There is such a legend. Viktor Frankl returned to his university in Vienna after the war, and students gathered to listen to his lecture on the day and hour when it was interrupted by the professor's arrest. He, who had lost everything and everyone in the crucible of hellish fire, ascended the pulpit, smiled and asked: “Where are we left?” And he continued the lecture.

I also want to be able to do this.

I also want to say “Yes” to life.

If fears start to win

In amorous matters, it is important not to lose self-control, so that women’s fear of a wedding does not interfere with personal happiness. How to stop being afraid to get married:

• If the bride is afraid that the wedding will be a huge failure, she should not take on all the responsibility for organizing it, but should shift some responsibilities to the bridesmaids, parents or groom. The freed up time is better spent relaxing at the spa or shopping. If an incident happens at a wedding and something goes wrong, there are people nearby who can back up and help fix everything.
• Before marriage, you should not doubt the feelings of your loved one, because... this can seriously damage a relationship. The fact that he proposed, that his eyes shine when his beloved is nearby, should inspire confidence that the groom wants to marry the woman he loves and will make her happy.
• To be afraid to get married because the relationship will not work out and will end in divorce is stupid, because... no one can predict the future. You can live in perfect harmony until a ripe old age, or you can separate by mutual agreement. The bride should only think that today she is the happiest girl on earth and will soon marry her loved one.
• If parents are skeptical about marriage, you can try to smooth out the differences by organizing a frank conversation. If the bride is confident in her choice, she should explain that this is her life, and she will arrange it with the man she loves.
• If the fear of a wedding is associated with thoughts about future family life, you should remember that if there is mutual love, respect and understanding, then there will be no split in the relationship. Everyone imagines life after marriage differently; it is recommended to talk before the wedding about how the future newlyweds imagine their family life and how household responsibilities will be distributed.
• If the bride is afraid of motherhood, she should come to the conclusion that this is an important stage in the life of every woman. Maternal instinct and love for the baby often appear after the birth of a child. Motherhood fills a woman’s life with meaning, and makes the family complete, giving many joyful moments.

Whatever fear you may have before the wedding, you can get rid of it by arranging a romantic date with the groom before the celebration. The feelings will pass as soon as the lovers again plunge into memories of how their romance began, when the first “I love” was said.

Before the wedding, it is recommended to relax at the spa

Causes of pre-nuptial depression in women

Very often, in women, pre-wedding depression develops due to emotional experiences caused by doubts about the correctness of the choice made. Of course, many girls dream of meeting their cherished prince on a white horse, but, as we know, there are no ideal people. Therefore, when thinking about a future life with her chosen one, the bride should rely primarily on her feelings for this person. She needs to be honest with herself, answering the question of whether she needs this particular person, whether she is ready to live with him, sharing sorrows and joys.

It is necessary to take into account the opinions and experiences of your mother, friends, and acquaintances, but in moderation. After all, the family life of each couple is their personal matter, in which no one has the right to interfere. Even if the future mother-in-law does not like the groom, the bride should take this calmly. Over time, they will definitely find a common language.

It happens that the bride is tormented by worries and fears associated with the negative experiences of loved ones. This becomes a common cause of depression. If the bride is confident in the correctness of her own choice, it is better not to think that something did not work out for someone. There will certainly be problems in family life. No one is immune from this. But together with your spouse you can find a way out of any difficult situation.

Preparing for a wedding is always associated not only with bright hopes, dreams of a future life together, about children, but also with a lot of trouble. Organizing a wedding celebration is a rather complex process, so in no case should you do it alone. This will cause physical fatigue, nervous tension and, as a result, depression.

It is better to prepare the wedding together with the groom. After all, this is your common holiday, the beginning of your new life together. When discussing an upcoming event, future newlyweds should be attentive to each other. Everything needs to be built on mutual agreement. This will be the first practice in reaching a compromise, finding a solution that will satisfy both. You cannot lead things to serious quarrels by insisting on your opinion and infringing on the interests of your future half. This will save you from unnecessary worries and help avoid discord.

You can find helpers among your family and friends. The experience of friends or relatives who have recently gotten married is very useful. If each of the assistants takes on any event, it will be easy for him, and future newlyweds will be saved from unnecessary worries.

When preparing for a wedding, every girl worries about how she will look on this wonderful day. Therefore, many urgently strive to achieve an ideal figure, exhausting themselves with diets and exercise. This causes stress, moral and physical fatigue and, as a result, depression. Therefore, it would be better to eat and exercise as usual. It is enough to slightly adjust your daily menu and add a few exercises to your regular fitness routine.

It will be much more useful to visit a beauty salon several times during the preparation for the wedding to experiment with makeup, haircut, color and hair styling. This will help create a new image, emphasizing your advantages and hiding minor flaws in your appearance.

Preparing for a wedding should be pleasant and joyful. This holiday is held for newlyweds. Therefore, they have every right to organize everything according to their taste, desire and capabilities. Trying to please all guests is usually unsuccessful. Among those invited there will definitely be people with different views and tastes. It's quite normal. There is no need to be afraid of this. The main thing is that the newlyweds are satisfied, and the guests are sincerely happy for them.

When does fear become a mental illness?

If you can’t deal with pre-wedding fear on your own, it’s better to talk to a psychologist and find out the reasons why the girl is afraid to get married.

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It is important to have a clear understanding of the line between normal anxiety and mental illness. A mental illness in which a girl is afraid to get married is called gamophobia. Factors associated with the development of the disease include previous divorce, parents’ unsuccessful marriage experience, childhood trauma associated with frequent quarrels between father and mother, and suggestions from the outside that marriage does not bring happiness.

Gamophobe is terrified of weddings. As soon as a loved one hints at officially registering the relationship, the woman begins to avoid him and subsequently breaks off the relationship.

Suffering from gamophobia, a girl may agree to get married, but on the appointed day she may run away. Signs of gamophobia are panic attacks, darkening of the eyes, and trembling hands. The disease can be cured with the help of a specialist who will recommend attending group auto training. They are conducted by psychotherapists and help overcome fear of the upcoming wedding.

Types and reasons

Depressive syndrome can be either an independent disorder or part of other mental illnesses. As an independent disease, depression comes in several types:

• major depressive disorder (MDD) is the most common clinical variant of the disease; this form includes not only a decrease in mood, but also a number of other psycho-emotional disorders;
• subdepression, or minor depression – has a number of signs of a depressive disorder, but does not meet all the criteria for the diagnosis of MDD, for example, the patient has only 1-2 symptoms;
• atypical form - combines classic manifestations of depression and symptoms that are not characteristic of it;
• recurrent short-term depression - episodes of the disease occur at least once a year and last no more than 2 weeks, but have all the criteria for major depression; Symptoms are often seasonal (spring-autumn).

Seasonal affective disorder, also called “seasonal depression,” is also identified as an independent form. Its symptoms appear in the autumn-winter period. The reasons for its development are associated with a decrease in melatonin synthesis due to lack of sunlight. Depression also occurs in the structure of other mental illnesses, for example, bipolar affective disorder, schizophrenia.

Based on the cause and mechanism of development, there are three forms of depression.

A separate form of depression, located at the intersection of obstetrics and psychiatry, is postpartum. It occurs in women after pregnancy against the background of physiological characteristics of the postpartum period, stressful perception of the birth itself or other problems. It is especially often observed in first-time mothers who are experiencing breastfeeding for the first time, chronic lack of sleep and overwork, or changes in appearance during pregnancy.

Overcoming

Fear before a wedding is normal. The psychology of anxiety shows that young people are fully aware of the responsibility that falls on their shoulders, but the fear does not disappear. The following ways will help you get rid of them:

1. Understand what's bothering you. This is fear of living together or anxiety about the upcoming wedding ceremony. If you're worried about your wedding, don't take it all on yourself. Find a wedding planning agent or ask your parents or friends. If this is a fear of your future life, then talk to your significant other about these fears and worries. Trust and mutual understanding are important in relationships. Don’t be shy to tell us why you are afraid to get married, this is very important.
2. Throw yourself a bachelorette party to get away from all your problems and have a good rest. Or go shopping.
3. Write down for yourself all the positive aspects of the upcoming marriage and when you have another panic attack, take a look at this list and understand that you will get only the best impressions from the upcoming wedding.
4. Concentrate on pleasant memories. Remember your first kiss, your first date, how you were proposed to - this will definitely help you cope with your anxiety.
5. Play sports. Physical activity increases the tone of the body and helps you forget about unpleasant thoughts.
6. Treat yourself to aromatherapy. Lavender, bergamot, and mint oils are great for helping you relax and relieve stress.

Don't forget that your significant other may also be very worried about the wedding and make you feel anxious. To avoid this, you should resort to the following tips:

• spend time together, do not burden yourself and your loved one with wedding problems;
• consult with a man, it is important for him to see that you trust him;
• Throw your loved one a bachelor party.

Treatment with psychological methods

If you can’t cope with anxiety on your own, and it develops into panic attacks at the mere memory of the wedding, then seek help from a psychotherapist. He can find the source of your phobia and help you cope with your fears or teach you how to keep them under control.

Anxiety in psychology is often considered as a fear of expectation. Anxiety arises in a person due to active fantasies about the future. A person is worried about waiting for something important, about a situation of uncertainty.

Anxiety is an emotional state when a person experiences excruciating anxiety and predicts failure.

According to psychologists, the most effective way to get rid of anxiety is to imagine that the worst has already happened (it started to rain, one of the guests did not arrive, the groom was late, etc.). We must imagine and come to terms with “what happened.” Then the fear of things not going according to plan will subside and you can enjoy the pre-wedding rush.

Features of apathy before a celebration ↑

Dejection before a wedding turns out to be a fairly common occurrence. It’s just that many people don’t know what the condition is called, which completely discourages any desire to get married. And the closer the cherished date, the more doubts, panic and bad thoughts there are.

This condition can and should be dealt with, so as not only not to spoil the wedding day, but also not to make a big mistake - to cancel the celebration.

Among women

The bride most often expresses anxiety mainly for the following reasons:

• achieving an ideal image (as a result - dieting, changing the image, a long selection of a wedding dress, etc.);
• organizing a wedding celebration (how not to forget the smallest details, how much more effort is needed);
• opinions of the guests (everything must be done so that everyone is satisfied, especially that person needs to “wipe her nose”).

All these worries are, in principle, justified. However, it is worth remembering that you are an adult who should no longer care about other people’s opinions. Trust your other half, because this day is not planned for anyone, but only for you.

In men

The groom may also have pre-wedding depression. But they experience fears for completely different reasons:

• loss of freedom (this is very important for any man);
• judgments and jokes from friends (most people around him will most likely look at him in bewilderment when he announces his marriage);
• further behavior of the newly-made wife (maybe after the wedding she will put on a shabby robe and begin to refuse sex, based on the fact that she is very tired today).

Yes, men are more excited about change than women. This is especially true for those changes that require restrictions on their freedom, desires, certain actions, etc.

However, most often the fears are not justified: you have been dating/living together for a long time, and the young wife’s behavior should not change radically. As for the rest, everyone sooner or later gets married and also “puts this collar around their neck.”

What to do?

1. Think about what your family will do on their honeymoon. The best thing, of course, is to travel to unfamiliar cities or countries. Such a trip will bring you together, leaving unforgettable impressions together.
2. Do not forbid your husband to meet with friends, do not control his every step. And don’t forget about your hobbies and your previous circle of friends.
3. Set new joint goals for your young family. Give birth and raise a baby, save for a house or apartment, car, dacha. Or simply renovate your home, buy household appliances, or arrange a summer cottage. It's great if you decide to take up one sport together.
4. When planning a wedding celebration, it is better not to go into debt or take out loans. Spend money on traveling together.
5. After marriage, a woman should not be afraid to change her image: clothing style, hairstyle, makeup - to be a “stranger” to her husband. Wear nice home clothes. The same applies to the husband - you should not appear in front of your wife in old “sweatpants” or in family pants with holes.
6. Do not be afraid of problems and disagreements in the family, do not expect your spouse to immediately get rid of all the bad habits that existed before the wedding. Go through a difficult period of getting used to each other.
7. When you start cooking food for two, you don’t need to eat in the same portions as your husband. Eat fatty meats, sausages, and smoked meats if your spouse likes them. Eat in moderation, don't give up your diet if you want to maintain a beautiful figure.
8. Responsibility. Manage family finances correctly. The husband needs to provide for the family. Support him and don't be a spendthrift.
9. Maintain romance and trust in your relationship, solve problems together, remember your first dates. Don't refuse physical intimacy. Try to give more, don’t forget about small gifts and words of love and tenderness.

Don't lose control of yourself

The most common reason for anxiety is the desire to control everything. Brides forget that they should enjoy the pre-wedding preparations, but instead they personally handle everything and check everything.

The easiest way in such a situation is to find a professional wedding planner who can create the wedding of your dreams and will take all the troubles upon himself; another option is to ask those closest to you for help. After all, if you control everything yourself, then you simply won’t have the energy left for the wedding.

Also try not to block your emotions, give your feelings an outlet, but, of course, in such a way as not to hurt the feelings of your loved one and family. Watch your favorite TV series, start reading an exciting book - do everything to distract yourself from unnecessary worries and control your condition.

Chat with your friends

If the pre-wedding excitement doesn’t go away and you can’t pull yourself together, a bachelorette party will be the best calmer. It is not necessary to triple it once and only before the wedding. Gather your closest friends to calm the anxiety and excitement that arises, because they know you well and will be able to distract you from your worries, give the necessary advice and simply instill happiness in you, thanks to fun and carefree communication. Ask them to come up with ways to distract you when your nerves are getting to you. Perhaps they will be able to call you more often or “pull” you out for fitness and walks.

Don't pay attention to the little things

Try not to make a big deal about the little things that upset you. It is impossible to predict everything, and everything that is planned may not be accomplished, but this is not a reason to be upset. Believe me, guests have absolutely no idea that you wanted napkins of a different size and invitations in a lavender shade rather than just lilac. And the next day they are unlikely to remember that the music did not play in the order it was intended.

We recommend reading: Anxiety-depressive disorder

Try not to put anything off until the last day, because the fewer things to do, the less cause for concern there will be. If you are worried about the unknown, afraid of forgetting something or making a mistake, take time to think about everything on your own and in silence. Imagine your wedding day in every detail. Clarify all questions as they arise and do not rely on chance.

Also, take a vacation at least a week before the wedding so as not to be distracted by work issues and troubles and devote yourself entirely to preparing for the holiday of your dreams. After everything settles down, the excitement will definitely go away.

Help yourself

To save yourself from a nervous breakdown, be positive and avoid negative emotions. If you feel yourself getting nervous, stop, close your eyes, breathe deeply and slowly until you feel calm and confident again.

And if you feel that you are overcome by fear or horror, think about what, in fact, makes you afraid. After all, a wedding is one of the happiest days of your life and is by no means the “beginning of the end.” Don’t let yourself forget how happy you are that very soon you will become the wife of your loved one. Don't distance yourself from your fiancé, have romantic dates and don't dwell on each other's shortcomings.

Choose time for yourself

To avoid unnecessary and worrying thoughts, you should constantly keep yourself busy with something. If you have already checked everything and agreed with the wedding planner, take care of yourself. On your wedding day, you should look perfect: make an appointment with a cosmetologist, go for a relaxing massage, take a warm bath with aromatic salts or oils. Don’t waste your time on this - not only your well-being will improve, but also your mood and sleep. And no matter what happens, determine the required time to get a good night's sleep and strictly follow it. To help you fall asleep, drink soothing mint and chamomile tea or a glass of warm milk.

A question of maturity

A very large number of girls, before marriage, in fact, do not have time to live an independent life: they simply migrate from their parents’ house to their husband.

This is what causes the fear of growing up. A husband is not a daddy, and a wife is not a mommy. No one is obligated to babysit you.

Until each of you becomes an autonomous individual, there is a risk that responsibility for your family life will rest on your parents' shoulders.

If it comes to the wedding, it’s time to start living independently: making decisions, being responsible and making choices.

Even before the wedding, you need to live together, but separately from your parents, in order to better understand yourself.

On a psychological level, the desire to get married in order to escape from the parental home is an escape from oneself.

For men, everything is quite simple here. If you doubt getting married because you feel like a boy at heart, there is no need to rush into it. It is better to concentrate on your development and live in a civil marriage. Grow up in relationships.

A man is the captain of the family ship, no matter how you look at it.

And if he is not ready to take responsibility, not only for his future wife, but also for his children, postpone the wedding for a year or two.

Preventing pre-marital depression

To prevent you from developing depression, resolve controversial issues and problems before they drive you into a corner. Discuss your doubts with friends, relatives and your significant other; often only speaking the problem out loud helps you correctly assess the current situation. Also, friends and relatives can help in solving the problem (with advice, action or simple moral support).

To prevent depression from arising because of a trifling quarrel, urgently make peace with your future soul mate, compromise, learn to be more patient, because love and patience are the key to a happy family life.

If you have any doubts about choosing the right partner, remember how you felt when you decided to get married. If your heart sank with joy, and your soul was filled with happiness then, then when you remember this event, you will again feel the same emotions, which will not allow depression to get to you.

If you are afraid that you will not be able to cope with household things: cooking, washing, cleaning, etc., and this makes you nervous ahead of time and makes you depressed, discuss this problem with your future soul mate. Various solutions are possible here, depending on your financial situation: from buying all kinds of household appliances that make life easier to inviting a housekeeper to your home to clean or cook.

Those who have always dreamed of a beautiful wedding may become depressed due to the fact that they do not have time to properly prepare the celebration. In this case, you need to start planning and preparing the wedding long before the date itself. Then you will have time to choose the best wedding dress, order the best restaurant, choose the most beautiful and delicious cake, have time to send out invitations to everyone, etc. without any rush, serious failure and any depression.

Pre-wedding depression: getting rid of it in three steps

A wedding day is the birthday of a new family, a joyful and memorable day in the life of both the newlyweds themselves and their loved ones. Undoubtedly, worries before marriage are very pleasant.

This means choosing the most beautiful and unusual wedding dress, drawing up a guest list, selecting dishes for the festive table, and a wedding cake with a certain number of tiers (what would we do without it?). And suddenly anxiety hits. Guest lists are not ready, invitation cards have not been purchased. And this obnoxious dressmaker takes so long to work on the dress! And the good mood is replaced by causeless anger and anxiety

Depression before marriage is common to both people getting married. Here are the signs that wedding depression has hit you: poor sleep, loss of appetite, anxiety, loss of self-confidence.

The main causes of pre-marital depression.

1. Sudden doubts: have I really found my “soul mate?” Everyone strives to create a family “for life,” but the sad experiences of loved ones make them think about the right choice of a life partner. Indeed, it is difficult to find a person who will share with you not only joyful, but also sad moments, and who will be able to get out of difficult situations with dignity.

2. A disagreement with your loved one before the wedding. “Dear ones scold - they only amuse themselves” is a correct proverb, but not for the tense pre-wedding days. During this period, there is often a cowardly desire to cancel the celebration and leave everything as it was.

3. Fears that you won’t be able to organize the wedding of your dreams. What if the guests don’t like the holiday? Or will the menu not be tasty and varied enough? And how will the guests behave at the wedding, will they like each other, will they be able to behave easily and joyfully? These fears are common to women. After all, everyone dreams that the main event in her life will become like a little fairy tale (remember the fairy tales of Perrault and Andersen: after all, beautiful princesses are so similar to beautiful brides!)

4. Fear of the unknown. After all, the upcoming family life is not only a wedding. These are new, hitherto unknown responsibilities, and many have children. Remember Vertinsky: “I was against it, diapers will start, why complicate your life?” But the great Vertinsky was already over 50...

5. Family is, first of all, responsibility to each other. Everyday everyday worries will overshadow cheerful friendly parties and get-togethers with friends. And getting used to this idea is not so easy.

6. The bride’s desire to look the most beautiful on the main day of her life. Hence, torturing yourself in the gym or, even worse, going on grueling (often downright dangerous!) diets. It’s much better to constantly stay in good physical shape, forget about new-fangled diets, and make healthy eating a daily norm, then wedding depression won’t be a problem!

If depression sets in...

1. Let's try to tune in to a positive wave, instill in ourselves the idea that everything will be wonderful. Under no circumstances should we take upon ourselves all the worries about the upcoming celebration: you can distribute them evenly among friends and relatives (and don’t forget the groom!). Don’t be afraid to share your fears with your loved ones: they will definitely help you.

2. “There is no arguing about tastes.” Understand one simple truth: it is impossible to please everyone! It is important that everything you do in preparation for the wedding celebration pleases you and your chosen one. Don't be afraid that something will turn out wrong. And unforeseen circumstances beyond your control can happen at any time. Deal with it.

3. Arrange a day of emotional release for yourself. Sit with your favorite book, go to the movies, take a walk in the park with your loved one. Physical education (but without fanaticism!) will also help relieve a negative mood.

4. As an exception, if depression overcomes you, no matter what, you can cry once. This helps some...

5. Avoid uncontrolled use of medications! Abuse of antidepressants without medical supervision is not the best way to solve the problem. It is better to purchase a calming herbal mixture at the pharmacy, brew motherwort and valerian. If depression lasts so long that you can’t do without medication, run to a specialist! A psychologist will help you find out the true cause of depression. And, who knows, maybe the celebration will have to be cancelled. Health is more valuable!

6. Under no circumstances try to “eat away” stress! You risk simply not fitting into your wedding dress. Do you need it?

How to prevent pre-wedding depression: three tips

1. We solve problems as they arise. But we don’t wait until the adversity is completely overcome. We discuss our fears and anxieties with loved ones, with relatives, with our mother, with our loved ones. Who, if not truly close people, can give smart advice and really assess the situation. And moral support cannot be discounted.

2.Say no to arguments. Learn to find compromise solutions. This will not interfere with family life. Patience, trust and mutual understanding are the “three pillars” on which a family rests. And try to understand your chosen one. He is also under stress and worries no less than you. If you have any concerns about your choice, remember your first date, refresh your memory of your feelings and emotions. There is another pitfall here: fear of inevitable everyday problems. Consult with your mother, the person closest to you, and write down her most popular recipes. There is nothing to be afraid of - everything should work out! And soon you will have your own culinary secrets. You are not the first, you are not the last. Don't be timid!

3.Are you afraid that the celebration will not be successful? You are not the first and not the last to get married. Make sure that you and your chosen one feel as comfortable and good as possible. You can't please everyone equally. One is a supporter of a noisy village wedding, another is nostalgic about a cheerful student party, someone likes a modest celebration in the circle of their closest people. You can't please everyone. And in order to really have time to prepare everything for the upcoming wedding, you need to plan everything in advance. Then you will have a good supply of time to order a wedding cake, and to choose a restaurant, and for a more picky choice of attire for the wedding.

Pre-wedding depression in the bride and groom: what is the difference?

Depression before a wedding is common to both people getting married. But the causes of depression in men and women are different. If the bride is driven into depression by the very process of preparing for the celebration, then men suffer from the fact that they lose freedom (a thing, in their opinion, priceless). And, oddly enough, what should be reassuring in such a situation is that in our time divorce is not a problem. And, if freedom is dearer than family, it can be restored quite quickly.

To successfully manage your moods, you need to make sure that you eat regularly and properly, follow a sleep and rest schedule. Good helpers in relieving stress are doing yoga and listening to calm music. Walking in the fresh air also improves your mood and helps you put your thoughts in order.

Set yourself in a positive mood and your ideal couple will have the best wedding ever!

What to do on the eve of a special event

The reasons for wedding depression listed above have most likely left you bewildered that such trifles and nonsense can throw you off balance. However, do not forget that the young couple has a new life ahead of them, and all these reasons that cause laughter in an ordinary state seem catastrophic at the decisive moment.

And so, if depression has overtaken you, then you should not give up. On the contrary, you should focus all your attention on the thought of a successful outcome. Talk about your fears with your friends. If the process of preparing for the holiday causes concern, seek advice from your family.

The only thing to remember is that you won’t be able to please everyone (“as many people, so many opinions”), everyone has different habits, tastes, and preferences. Therefore, do not try to please those invited, try to bring joy, first of all, to yourself and your partner.

There is no need to worry about the fact that something may not go the way you would like it to. Such moments can happen regardless of our desires and efforts. Remember, and not just for a wedding, you can’t control everything, accept it and live peacefully.

Going to the cinema or cafe with friends will help you cope with depression. An equally effective remedy for depression is a quiet rest, a trip to nature, reading an interesting book, a favorite pastime (knitting, caring for flowers, etc.).

If depression literally pulls the rug out from under your feet, you can even cry, if your soul asks, you can even throw a tantrum, but only once. Such a prank will get rid of accumulated negative energy. You should not try to get rid of depression using antidepressants. In this case, soothing teas or mild sedative medications (tincture of valerian or motherwort) will help relieve tension. Antidepressants can only be taken as prescribed by a doctor.

Particular attention should be paid to proper nutrition. The body should not lack vitamins and microelements. Eat oranges. They contain large amounts of vitamins A and C. The orange color of the fruit will lift your spirits.

If depression takes a serious turn and takes over your consciousness, you need to consult a psychologist who will help you understand the true cause of depression.

Sources

• https://blizosti.net/sindrom-sbezhavshej-nevesty/
• https://psyhoday.ru/strahi-fobii/strah-pered-svadboj-u-zhenshchin.html
• https://urazuma.ru/strahi-fobii/strah-pered-svadboj-u-zhenshchin.html
• https://womee.ru/sindrom-nevesty/
• https://home-teplo.ru/depressiya-posle-svadby/
• https://the-wedding.ru/106196-sindrom-nevesty-kak-ostavatsya-spokoynoy-v-predsvadebnoy-suete/
• https://indepress.ru/depressiya/predsvadebnaya.html

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Relationship

The wedding bells ring, armfuls of flowers from the holiday have faded, and the newlyweds are suddenly overcome by an incomprehensible sadness and devastation. Irritation with each other, bad mood, quarrels over trifles... According to scientists, ten percent of newlyweds are susceptible to so-called post-wedding depression. This condition is more common in women than in men. How to get rid of post-wedding blues, or better yet, prevent it?

It’s good if you are reading this article not after the wedding, but before it. As you know, the most effective remedy for any ailment is prevention. So, if you are just planning to get married, try to avoid mistakes that will lead you straight to post-wedding depression.

First, don't focus all your thoughts and aspirations on your wedding. There is no doubt that marriage is a big goal that newlyweds have been working toward for months. In the case of particularly magnificent celebrations, the preparation process can last for six months or a year. If all your dreams, hopes and expectations during this time are pinned on one or two days of the holiday, then after its end you will inevitably be overtaken by devastation. This can happen even if the wedding went perfectly. It just turns out that you have nothing more to strive for.

“After the wedding, I felt somehow uneasy,” says Tatyana. — There was regret that the holiday had passed and this would not happen again. I’m ashamed to admit, but I even look at the brides and wedding processions with some envy.”

While you're preparing for the celebration, don't give up on the rest of your life. Work, meet with friends, continue, if possible, to live the interests that pleased you before your engagement.

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Secondly, continue to work on your relationship with your chosen one. Just because you're engaged is no guarantee that you won't fight, disagree, or resent each other. It would seem like a banal truth, but wedding magic is so strong that it sometimes creates the illusion of complete harmony and absolute agreement. When this illusion is broken by some everyday disagreement, the newlyweds feel literally betrayed, because the fairy tale collapses before their eyes. And, alas, many couples break up precisely at the stage of preparation for marriage.

If you are confident in your chosen one and still want to marry him, it is better to take off your rose-colored glasses. A wedding is a romantic step, but the process of preparation for it and pragmatism requires a lot. You will have to count money, sign invitations, order cars, coordinate menus and draw a seating plan for guests. All this requires a lot of effort, patience and compromise.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, try not to get into big debt. Paying back loans is not the most pleasant thing to do on your honeymoon. Nowadays, many couples end up having a modest “jeans” wedding, but then go on a trip, which becomes a better holiday than a salad feast.

It is clear that many girls dream of feeling like a princess in a white dress. But at least try to spend money on the holiday that you want, and not your parents or girlfriends.

The following tips may also be useful for those who have already exchanged rings and feel increasing blues or irritation.

A new stage of life brings new goals. You got married, the holiday was a success, the honeymoon, if there was one, is completed. But that's no reason to stop!

Rest and set new goals. Some people think that after the wedding they can start planning for a child, some are furnishing the family nest, and some are taking up work with renewed vigor so that the newly-made family can enjoy prosperity.

The main idea is don't hold on to the past. If you are overcome by nostalgia, you can watch a video from the celebration or look through wedding photos, but do not devote all your free time to this.

Stylists and psychologists say that after some time after the wedding, it is a good idea to change your image: cut your hair, dye your hair, buy clothes that are different from your usual style. Firstly, it will highlight your transition to your new status as a wife. Secondly, this is a good prevention of the fading of feelings - the husband will again feel like he is dating a stranger.

One of the common problems of newlyweds is excessive demands on their marriage partner. Young men and women cherish a vague dream that a wedding, like a magic wand, will turn the chosen one into an ideal being.

The dream is very dangerous, because it is precisely this that leads to bitter squabbles in the first year of marriage. Why doesn’t my partner want to meet all my expectations, because he gave me an oath before the altar?! Probably because he expected you to marry him, and not a beautiful image of “what he could be.”

If you had disagreements on some issue before the wedding, most likely they will occur after. If your spouse smoked before marriage, he is unlikely to quit immediately after putting on a wedding ring. Money also does not begin to flow like a river into a young family on its own, especially considering the wedding loans mentioned above.

Psychologists advise not to be afraid of quarrels and problems that may arise after marriage. Just keep in mind that now you are going through a difficult, “explosive” period.

Old friends, new acquaintances... Another common problem for young married couples is the loss of old interests. Before the wedding, you were absorbed in each other, and planning the event probably took time and effort. Now is a good time to return to your previous hobbies and interests. Some of them can be joint, and some can be separate: separation in homeopathic doses is only beneficial for relationships.

A problem familiar to many women is weight gain after marriage. Before the celebration, you could limit yourself in order to look perfect in a white dress, but at the celebration you “let go of the reins”, but you will never pick them back up.

Nutritionists advise: if you adhered to a certain diet before marriage, try to return to it as soon as possible. Even if your husband likes fried pork and smoked sausage, you don't have to eat the same. After all, he fell in love with you before the wedding as a slender nymph and probably hopes that you will remain that way. If you want to maintain this image, you should also maintain the corresponding lifestyle.