Almost before the wedding itself, the bride and groom gather their friends for a bachelor and bachelorette party. Of course, they do this separately: the groom gathers his friends, and the bride gathers her friends at the same time but in a different place. That’s why the names are: bachelor party and bachelorette party. These events symbolize farewell to single, free life and the transition to adult, family life.
The tradition of bachelor and hen parties, like almost all other wedding traditions, came to us from ancient times. As you remember, in those days, quite often the bride and groom did not choose each other themselves, but their parents did it for them. And they did not always do this, focusing on the preferences of their children. Therefore, it very often happened that after the wedding, both the bride and groom found themselves face to face with a hateful, unloved person and were forced to endure him until their death. There could be no talk of any happiness in this case. The folk wisdom “If you endure it, you will fall in love” did not always work.
So the tradition arose of gathering your friends and girlfriends before the wedding and mourning your difficult lot with them, as well as remembering happy single days with them. Moreover, this was observed even if the marriage was concluded for love. How could it be otherwise - tradition is tradition.
Particularly rich traditions are associated with bachelorette parties. It often began a few days before the wedding, and continued until the wedding itself. After the matchmaking, the “arranged” girl was not supposed to talk loudly or laugh. And the closer she got to the wedding, the sadder she became. And when the time came for the bachelorette party, the bride had to cry and sing mournful songs. Moreover, the tears of the bride were considered an obligatory attribute of the bachelorette party, necessary for the marriage to be happy.
Therefore, in order to surely bring tears to the bride, they hired a special woman - a vytnitsa, who had extensive experience in causing girlish tears. There were few good vytnitsa, so they were very much appreciated.
The choir of bridesmaids, led by the vytnitsa, began singing mournful songs and wailing, with one hundred percent probability making the bride burst into tears, even if she didn’t want it.
So they sat all day long in the hut: they sang songs, remembered happy days, ate pies and drank mash. However, when they or the bride’s parents got tired of such a pastime, they went to visit the bride’s relatives in order to cry to them about the girl’s difficult fate. Moreover, everyone who came across along the way was also introduced to what was happening with their mournful singing.
Another indispensable attribute of the bachelorette party were gifts. They were given to the bride, and the bride herself gave them. It was believed that the more gifts the bride gave, the happier she would be in her marriage. In this way, they tried to appease evil spirits and envious people. So that they don’t touch the bride’s family. Therefore, the angrier the person was, the more the bride gave him gifts before the wedding. So that he becomes prettier and does not jinx the bride.
Basically, it was customary to give gifts in pairs - two belts, two scarves, etc. This symbolized that the bride would never be alone.
It was also customary to give drink to everyone present. So that they become kinder and do not intrigue the bride. And again, the more envious a person was, the more he was given water. So that when you're drunk, you forget about the wedding and can't do any harm.
Late in the evening before the wedding day, a ritual visit to the bathhouse by the bride took place. Her girlfriends, again without ceasing to sing, unbraided her hair, undressed her, washed her, and hovered with the broom that her groom brought for the bride. The ritual of visiting the bathhouse symbolized washing away the entire past from the bride so that she could enter a new life - family life - purified.
Often the bridesmaids stayed with her that night. Before going to bed, they sang songs again and remembered their past life.
In the morning, the bride sat in the “red corner” of the hut, and her bridesmaids dressed her up, combed her hair and braided her hair.
Then it was the parents' turn. They approached the bride and blessed her for life in marriage, read appropriate prayers, and made parting speeches, wishing her happiness in marriage.
The bride’s mother gave her the so-called “talisman”: a family heirloom that was passed down the bride’s family through the female line from mother to daughter. Usually it was some kind of jewelry. The bride was to keep it in her new family and in turn pass it on to her daughter when she got married.
After the parental blessing, the bride walked around all the household members in turn and bowed at their feet, saying goodbye. And then the groom came to take the bride to the wedding...
On the last evening before the wedding, friends also came to the groom to accompany him into family life. And this party, unlike the bachelorette party, was not very different from the modern bachelor party. Only then he was called “young man”.
Unlike the bachelorette party, the bachelor party passed without tears. And this can be explained not only by traditional male restraint, like “it’s not right for men to cry.” There is also another reason.
Even if a guy was married to a girl he didn’t love, in most cases he remained to live with his wife in his parents’ house. As a bride, he did not have to leave his relatives and girlfriends and move to strangers in another house, and sometimes in another area.
Therefore, the groom did not have much reason to cry. After all, both his relatives and his friends remained with him. Unless the wife comes across as very unattractive. But that’s what wisdom is: “If you endure it, you will fall in love.”
Just like at bachelorette parties, the groom and his friends remembered his youth and encouraged him to start his family life. Of course, such intimate conversations were not complete without a “glass of tea.” Therefore, gradually the atmosphere at the bachelor party became more cheerful. Having had a good walk and spending the groom’s single life, the guests often left late at night. And in the morning the groom himself, having received the blessing of his parents, went to fetch the bride...
Now, unlike ancient times, in most cases, neither the groom nor the bride is forced into marriage. But the tradition of saying goodbye to single life remains. Moreover, often the initiative to hold bachelor and bachelorette parties comes not from the bride and groom, but from their friends and girlfriends who want to have fun once again.
Now no one cries at bachelorette parties anymore. Well, maybe there are tears of joy. After all, the bride today chooses her own destiny and she has no one to complain about. And in most cases, there is no need to say goodbye to family and friends. After all, she, like the groom, continues to communicate with them often after the wedding. Moreover, now often, on the contrary, the groom moves into the bride’s house after the wedding if he cannot immediately acquire his own apartment.
There are opinions that you can invite a wider circle of friends and girlfriends to a bachelor and bachelorette party than the one invited to a wedding, as long as everyone is one of their own and the atmosphere is cozy and friendly. But I don't entirely agree with this statement. After all, if you consider your friend to be yours, then why not invite him to your wedding? And if you still didn’t invite him to the wedding, then how will he feel at the bachelor party, where all the talk will be about the upcoming wedding and the rest of the party participants are going to the wedding. Is he the odd one out at this celebration of life?
Therefore, if you decide not to invite a friend to the wedding, then he has nothing to do at the bachelor party. Otherwise, a cozy and friendly atmosphere is unlikely to be achieved.
At bachelor and bachelorette parties, guests give gifts to the bride and groom. True, they are usually small and symbolic. For example, friends can give the groom the Kama Sutra, and the bridesmaids can present a set of erotic underwear or a book about raising children.
Naturally, the bachelor and bachelorette parties themselves are held separately. That's why they are a bachelorette party, because only females are present there, and a bachelor party, because only men gather there.
But traditional places for these events are traditionally chosen the same:
At the home of the bride and groom
This method of holding a party is suitable if you are going to say goodbye to single life in a cozy and warm home atmosphere away from prying eyes. A home environment will facilitate intimate, friendly conversations. You just have to take care of the menu for the planned event in advance. Fortunately, you won’t have to prepare anything complicated, since cold appetizers are usually served at bachelor and bachelorette parties.
When holding a party at home, you need to take into account that after 11 pm the music will have to be turned down. Otherwise, the neighbors may not understand that you are getting married soon and call the police.
Where to celebrate?
Give up the idea of spending the holiday at home. Of course, you may be able to settle for a smaller amount. But many undesirable consequences - washing dishes, cleaning the apartment - will await you the next morning.
You can organize a holiday in nature. Good weather, barbecue, warm company of pleasant people - this is a good option for a bachelor and bachelorette party. Check the weather forecast and choose a nice day! All that remains is to organize this event so that it differs from other outings in nature.
The next option is a bathhouse or sauna. A traditional place for gatherings with friends. A table with various dishes and drinks, massage services, and billiards will help you relax.
A club, a cafe, a restaurant are places for holding an incendiary party for a bachelor or bachelorette party. Invited artists, special effects at your request, music and dancing will create the atmosphere of a festive extravaganza!
Outdoors
An outing with the whole company to the bosom of nature: to the beach, to a forest clearing or to the country house will be a good way to spend a bachelor and bachelorette party. You will be able to swim in the river, play sports games, cook barbecue and have plenty of time to chat in a relaxed atmosphere.
And in general, spending the whole day in the fresh air is good for your health. The only thing you need is to take care of enough food for the whole day. After all, the fresh air works up your appetite. It’s a pity that in our latitudes this way of holding this event is only suitable in the summer. In winter, at 20 degrees below zero, you probably won’t be able to have particularly intimate gatherings.
Bachelor and bachelorette parties: should they be combined? Professional opinion!
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
Expert opinion
“Following the fashion for joint gatherings of the bride and groom, the idea of a common bachelor and bachelorette party is gaining popularity in Russia. The holiday format is new, but with great potential. Isn't it great to get together with a large and noisy group of friends and have a fun pre-wedding party? The first part can be spent usefully, the main thing is to choose activities that are interesting to both the groom’s friends and the bridesmaids. For example, you can try to paint a picture while enjoying a glass of wine, organize a culinary master class followed by a tasting, try surfing or flying in a wind tunnel if you are for active recreation. Why limit yourself to get-togethers when there is a reason to have another small celebration? In addition, a joint farewell to single life does not cancel the “continuation of the banquet,” but in a purely female or male company. And now the second part of the holiday can be spent, as is customary, at classic hen/stag parties,” notes Polina Belyakova, head of the La Tendresse .
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Wedding studio “La Tendresse”
“Seeing friends off together into married life is a good reason for guests to get to know each other better. Having common memories, the guests will be much more comfortable having fun at the celebration itself, most of them will already know each other and the unnecessary awkwardness that always arises in an unfamiliar company can be avoided,” notes Polina Belyakova, head of the wedding studio “La Tendresse.” .
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VALENA
It is traditionally believed that bachelor and bachelorette parties are a certain “ ritual ” for saying goodbye to a past, carefree life. These events imply a transition to a new stage, a new family life is opening up before you, so why not open this door fun and together
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Wedding planner Ekaterina Vorontsevich
Wedding planner Ekaterina Vorontsova Fr.
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
Wedding planner Anastasia Yaskina emphasizes that “bachelor and bachelorette parties should be held no later than a week before the wedding, as it may take several days to celebrate, and do not forget that the main holiday is still ahead ! Moreover, within a week, as a rule, the pre-wedding jitters begin. The couple needs time to collect their thoughts and not forget about important details.” Wedding professionals note that a combined bachelor and bachelorette party can be considered a kind of rehearsal for the wedding celebration, if only because the guests can get to know each other in advance, which will later have a beneficial effect on the wedding atmosphere.
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
Also, it should be noted that a common event will help to significantly reduce costs , and instead of two small parties, organize one, but on a grand scale! Why save on your desires if the bride and groom can come to a common denominator and choose what they are both interested in, especially if their interests and views converge on this issue?
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
Interesting ideas
“Why not combine a bachelorette party with a bachelor party and have a pre-party with friends? This way, everyone will be able to get to know each other in advance and the wedding day will be even more fun. You just need to choose a party format that suits everyone; it can be a culinary duel, a trip to bars and clubs, karaoke, a quest, bowling, or even a mini-trip,” notes Alena Mashkina, a representative of the wedding agency The Global Wedding.
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Wedding agency The Global Wedding.
Don't forget that it's more fun together, so a joint party means double the fun! So you can and should get together as one big company, and the ArtiLand an excellent place for this because after time spent in the fresh air, you will return fresh and rested, and the time spent on the road can be used to get together with thoughts.
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
Representative of NNDECOR DESIGN STUDIO - after all, it is necessary to find exactly the place that will suit both the bride and groom, and if the common hobby of the couple is all kinds of activities, then bowling will be the best solution, besides, team play always contributes to the formation of a team spirit and communications.
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
Wedding planner Ekaterina Vorontsova notes that “you can come up with team quests , for example, boys against girls or a karaoke battle. You can also consider an option such as a joint mini-vacation abroad or going to a hotel near Moscow for the weekend. If your friends did not know each other beforehand, then thanks to a common party, they will become one team!”
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
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Wedding agency “Caramel”
Wedding planner Rozana Soshenko focuses on the fact that “of course, it is worth celebrating both a bachelorette party and a bachelor party, this brings together friendly relations. There will always be something to remember, in a warm friendly circle, flipping through photos or watching videos! My advice: think through the hen and stag parties in detail, so that everyone has fun and interesting.” Having a pre-wedding party together is a great way to spend time with close friends and have a lot of fun!
Preparing for a bachelorette party
In other words, it is important to prepare “in winter and summer – the same color.” The “bachelorette party before the wedding” tradition assumes that the bridesmaids are involved in preparing the event. In ancient times, this evening on the eve of the wedding day meant farewell to youth. Most likely, this was believed because fathers often gave their daughters in marriage. There was no talk of love: it was important to arrange as profitably as possible for the bride, who shed tears while her girlfriends consoled her. If a happy marriage was expected, then, of course, there were songs and round dances. The question “How to hold a bachelorette party?” didn't stand.
To implement original ideas for a bachelorette party, preparations must begin in advance. Think about where the event will take place, a detailed scenario, how best to decorate the room, and a dress code. If a photo shoot is planned, it is important to organize all the equipment with which you will be photographed and accessories that highlight the image of the bride. The upcoming important day of the event brings with it pleasant troubles. Usually, during a bachelorette party, a lot is spent talking about the organizational aspects of tomorrow. However, the end in itself is a pleasant pastime with your closest girlfriends, with whom you can go through thick and thin.
Holding a bachelorette party in a bathhouse
First of all, you should choose a place that is suitable for holding a party. Choose: bar, bathhouse, restaurant, club, picnic in the park, of course, not in winter. For the taste of the bride. In addition, we must not forget that there are also ideas for a bachelorette party at home in a cozy atmosphere. Often people prefer to invite a stripper to an event, but this is not possible in every cafe. Remember that not a single representative of the stronger sex should be in the company that evening, not counting the invited guest, because the boys have their own event, organized by the groom. But asking for a bachelor party is out of the question, because your lover completely trusts you and does not encroach on the bride’s freedom! Answer with the same coin.
The bachelorette party should be cultural; in addition, it should not be extended over time. Everything should be relaxed, which does not involve too much competition. There is a hard day ahead that requires effort: it is important to get a good night's sleep and rest. To organize a special charm for a bachelorette party, you can give preference to African or oriental style. However, absolutely anyone that would please the heart of the bride and bridesmaids will do. As they said, ideas for a bachelorette party require complete freedom of imagination; a photo shoot, if one is planned, will be funny and interesting one way or another.
The nuances of holding a bachelorette party
If you want to achieve an ideal figure on the eve of your wedding, you should not go to the gym. An essential part of a weight loss program will be proper nutrition. In addition, during a bachelorette party you should not drink too much alcohol or junk food - salty, fatty. This will not have the best effect on your health. As for the circle in which to hold a bachelorette party, the number of invited girlfriends varies individually. You can call all your acquaintances, starting from kindergarten, or limit yourself to only your closest ones in order to feel as comfortable and relaxed as possible at your own celebration of life.
Inviting friends to a bachelorette party
An important fact: you can have a bachelorette party not only on the evening before the wedding. By organizing the celebration in advance, you can fully relax before the wedding. It won’t be, “What are men talking about?” in the female version. There will also be no “hangover” look at the wedding. It is not advisable to invite women from the groom’s side, be they relatives of the future husband or his girlfriends. No matter how closely you communicate, a feeling of awkwardness will remain on both sides. You can forget about how to have a fun bachelorette party, because you will be worried that, while sharpening your laces, you won’t blurt out anything unnecessary that you could chat about with your girlfriends. Little things like this make a bachelorette party comfortable.
A bachelorette party in the style of your favorite heroines from TV series suggests that you can organize several events organized by different friends. For example, not wanting to offend anyone, but also not wanting to gather colleagues, mother, grandmother, girlfriends, aunts, relatives, cousins, good neighbors “under one roof,” you can organize a holiday “in several sessions.” It is important to take into account the financial capabilities of a particular bride, as well as her desires. However, if everything is in order with money, then you won’t have to wait for your dreams. If such a desire is expressed by one of the invited guests, the bride has the right to refuse.
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