The Jews are an ancient people who sacredly honor their traditions and zealously follow the tenets of their faith. A Jewish wedding in many ways remains the personification of those commandments that Moses left in the 13th century BC, and according to some sources, the origins of Jewish rituals and traditions go back even further, into the depths of centuries. Although many rituals changed over time - they were improved, outdated details were discarded and something new was added, traditional celebrations retained a unique national flavor.
Ancient traditions
Since ancient times, the parents of the newlyweds have agreed on the wedding. The bride and groom met after reaching agreements, often seeing each other for the first time. Since quite a lot of time passed before the wedding ceremony, in some regions the arranged young people began to live together without waiting for officially formalized marriage bonds.
A wedding in Israel and the institution of marriage in general were perceived not only as the unity of a man and a woman for procreation, but also as the embodiment of the Divine command. After all, according to the Torah, someone who has not created a family is not a full-fledged person. He is not complete - somewhere in the world, just as separately, his half lives.
Matchmaking and engagement rituals
Long holiday celebrations began with mandatory matchmaking. The consent of the young couple was not required for marriage - it was believed that good sons and daughters should be obedient to the will of their parents. Representatives of the groom talked about the candidate (very rarely the matchmaking was carried out by the groom himself). If consent was obtained from the girl’s relatives, a bride price was paid as a sign of serious intentions and proof of financial solvency.
Then the girl’s parents and representatives of the groom, or the groom himself, sat down at the table with the obligatory wine to discuss the details of the upcoming celebrations. The Jews were among the first to enter into marriage contracts. They specified both the size of the dowry and ransom, as well as the responsibilities of the future spouses. Particular attention was paid to abuse of wife and children. In the event of a proven violation of the terms of the contract, the marriage could be dissolved without long delays.
As a sign of consolidating the agreement reached, the mothers of the young people broke the plate. This meant that there was no return to the old life, just as it was impossible to glue dishes from fragments.
After resolving all the issues that arose, they organized an acquaintance of the bride and groom, always in the presence of a rabbi or respected people. It often happened that the newlyweds did not see each other until the wedding.
Nowadays such harsh conditions are found only in orthodox families. Usually young people get to know each other on their own and only then notify the older generation of their desire to start a family.
The main thing is the soul
In many countries, during the wedding ceremony, the groom removes the veil from the bride's face. However, Jewish suitors, on the contrary, cover for her. This procedure is called badeken and is a very important part of most Jewish weddings.
Every girl strives to look her best on such an important day. Jewish brides are no different from others in this regard. So why should the groom hide his beloved's face? In this way, he demonstrates that he fell in love with her for her character and soul, and not for her external beauty. By covering the bride, the groom also takes upon himself the obligation to protect, clothe and provide for her.
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Preparations for a Jewish wedding
The preparatory period was very important for the proper organization of the celebrations. The beliefs and traditions of the Jews contained, and still contain, many restrictions that had to be taken into account when preparing for the wedding. Thus, a Jewish wedding was in no case celebrated during the period of national holidays, fasts and memorial days. Saturday, the Sabbath, was also forbidden. The day when the Almighty rested from work was a general day off for Jews, when all labor activity was prohibited. In the modern world, this tradition is observed to the point of making it impossible to independently press the elevator button or turn on the light. Of course, there is no time for marriages here.
Groom Announcement
A week before the wedding celebrations, the groom publicly announced the upcoming event. This happened during a service in the synagogue. The ritual was called Ufruf. The men present at the service actively congratulated the happy newlywed and showered him with sweets. After which the whole family gathered for a festive dinner.
Bride's cleansing rituals
The girl underwent cleansing rituals in a special Mikveh pool. She completely undressed, even the nail polish had to be removed. She took off all her jewelry and slowly sank into the water, reading prayers. There had to be several ablutions. She was supported by a company of friends and married women who helped and held conversations about the value of family life. These ablutions meant her cleansing of the sins of her past life and preparation for marriage.
Jewish wedding celebrations
The wedding could be scheduled on different days, according to established rules. According to one of them, the wedding took place on Wednesday, so that on Thursday, if the girl lacked virginity, the husband could publicly divorce in the synagogue.
Celebrated on weekdays during the week, and on Saturday after a late dinner. Sunday remains the most popular.
Wedding outfits
Jews do not wear any special wedding attire. They dressed in elegant clothes of the region where they lived. Modern wedding dresses and suits have a very classic look. The only condition is that the bride’s dress should be as modest and closed as possible.
Morning of the wedding day
On the wedding day, the legal issues of the upcoming marriage were first resolved. The groom, together with the bride's representatives, guests and rabbis, signed the engagement agreement and the marriage contract. Meanwhile, the bride received congratulations and gifts in the women's quarters. And the mothers of the newlyweds broke something glass in memory of the destroyed Temple of Jerusalem.
Then the groom, in the presence of respected witnesses, threw a long thick veil over the bride’s head, which completely hid her - as a sign that the man was now fully responsible for his wife. The presence of strangers was necessary to make sure that the girl was not replaced.
Wedding - chuppah
The name of the most important rite comes from the name of the canopy. His presence over the heads of the newlyweds was mandatory. This fabric, decorated with fringe and embroidery, on four carved pillars symbolized the canopy of the groom's house, under which he introduced his wife. The open sides represented hospitality, because this is how the tent of Abraham was opened to all those who suffered. There should not have been any furniture in the chuppah, because a Jewish home is not things, it is the people living in it. Traditionally, there was supposed to be an open sky above the canopy, so the ceremonies were performed outdoors.
The man was the first to enter his “house”, after which the woman entered and walked around the groom in a circle three or seven times - a sacred number. The position of a wife in a Jewish family was special, unlike either Muslim or European customs. Despite the external signs, which are quite similar to those of the East, Jewish women were the cement that held together family ties. They were educated, smart and much less limited in their capabilities.
The rabbi read prayers, blessed the wine in a crystal goblet, and allowed the groom to put on his wedding ring. According to Jewish customs, the ring was intended only for the wife. It was simple, without stones or frills, flat. After this, blessing prayers were read, and the young people drank wine from a goblet. The groom broke the empty vessel - threw it on stones or stepped on it with his right foot. And the guests shouted: “Happy fate!” Modern newlyweds often replace the glass with an incandescent light bulb - it is easier to hit and much louder.
Festive feast
The Jewish people have always had a very specific attitude towards food. Therefore, exclusively kosher dishes were prepared for the festive banquet. But the Torah did not forbid having fun, singing songs and dancing, so we walked from the heart. All guests were expected to entertain the newlyweds to the best of their ability. The holiday lasted until sunrise.
National dances and entertainment
From time immemorial, dancing at a Jewish holiday has been the main way to have fun. Many different traditional dances have been invented specifically for weddings. Many of them still dance.
- The dance for the bride included the use of various funny little things - jump ropes, confetti, flags and fancy dress costumes, everything that dear guests could think of.
- If the last daughter was married, then her mother was crowned with a flower wreath and went out to the center of the hall, and all her daughters danced around her.
- If the last child of either sex was married, a separate dance was held for the parents.
- The Hora and Mitzvah were danced when respected people danced with or for the bride, holding belts in their hands. After which the bride and groom made a joint exit.
The Jewish wedding took place to live national music with rare inclusions of musical compositions from the region of residence, because these people settled all over the world. Modern weddings also include national compositions and dances, and generally accepted playlists.
Interesting customs of a Jewish wedding
Like all other peoples, Jews have their own original traditions and signs, which they strictly observe during the wedding - after all, the well-being and happiness of the newlyweds depends on this. Particularly interesting in this regard are the weddings of Orthodox Jews, which have remained virtually unchanged since ancient times.
- Since marriage is a sacred act for the bride and groom, they are forbidden to eat or drink anything other than clean water until the sacrament of betrothal.
- All traditional Jewish rituals have their origins in the Torah. They are very religious and strictly observe the commandments and laws of God.
- After the engagement, the newlyweds must retire to a separate room in the presence of several witnesses and share a meal together. After this, the official part of the wedding ends.
- At the festive feast, the newlyweds were necessarily lifted into the air along with the throne-chairs, and carried around in a circle with songs and congratulations.
- The young people at the wedding are the embodiment of Divine providence, they are full of holiness and their status is higher than everyone else present, regardless of merit and age. The attitude towards them these days is appropriate. For many young people, the period of marriage is the most important in life.
- As in the Muslim tradition, Jews do not celebrate together between men and women. During special events and banquets, it is customary to separate according to gender, and separate tables are placed.
- A married woman should not show her hair to anyone except her husband. Therefore, in public they appear either in completely closed headdresses, scarves, or shawls. Or - in wigs.
- The end of the holiday is marked by a prayer of thanks.
- The custom of throwing a bouquet into a crowd of girlfriends began its victorious march precisely from the Jewish tradition.
- At many weddings there is still an official jester-toastmaster, badchen. He entertains guests, organizes competitions and various jokes.
- There is a wonderful old custom that is still observed: when a son is born, parents plant a cedar tree, and if a daughter is born, a pine tree.
Even zealous keepers of traditions give in under the pressure of modern technology. Increasingly, celebrations are being filmed on video or with cameras, although previously it was strictly forbidden to record secret rituals and people in general.
Marriage contract
Even if the bride-to-be has worn a diamond or gold ring for years, in many Jewish communities the couple is not considered engaged until a special document is signed detailing the terms of the future engagement. Canceling a wedding after it has been signed is considered extremely undignified, so if it is used, in almost all cases it is signed on the wedding day. However, this actually means that the couple was not engaged until the day of marriage. In ancient times, such agreements were drawn up so that families could negotiate the dowry in advance and establish a fine in case of divorce.
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