Divorce: the view of a church canonist

When people in love register their relationship with the registry office, they officially seal their love before the state. Having gotten married in church, they become husband and wife before God. When entering into a secular and church marriage, the newlyweds promise each other to be together in sorrow and joy, in wealth and poverty for the rest of their lives. But not every family union stands the test of time. Almost half of married couples in Russia, when faced with difficulties, prefer to separate. Having received a certificate of divorce from the registry office, many ex-spouses stop there, because a divorce through government agencies is enough to be considered legally free citizens and begin to build their lives anew. But the procedure for terminating a marriage for believers does not end there, because until the dethronement takes place, their marriage will be considered valid before God.

In what cases can you ask the church to debunk?

The Orthodox Church has an extremely negative attitude towards divorce, believing that the severance of family relationships harms both spouses and their children. And if in our turbulent times the clergy met the parishioners halfway and began, if there were truly good reasons, to carry out dethronements, then in past centuries even representatives of the royal family could not get a divorce after a wedding. The Church did not recognize the dissolution of marriage, uniting people in a union once and for all. For the first time, a list of reasons giving Orthodox parishioners the opportunity to obtain a divorce from the church was compiled in 1918. Over time, this list has been expanded somewhat. Today, the following may serve as grounds for church divorce:

• betrayal by either party;
• unnatural vices;
• the entry of an unmarried spouse into a new marriage;
• rejection of Orthodoxy;
• absence of husband or wife for more than three years;
• failure of either spouse to fulfill their marital responsibilities due to self-inflicted physical harm;
• assault against a wife (husband) or children, causing harm to their health;
• incurable mental illness;
• venereal diseases;
• passion for alcohol, drug use;
• stay of the husband or wife in prison;
• taking advantage of a spouse's weakness for one's own benefit;
• husband abandoning his wife and vice versa;
• a woman performs an abortion without the consent of her partner (an exception may be termination of pregnancy due to a threat to health).

How to get divorced after divorce

If irreconcilable differences nevertheless arose between the spouses and it was decided to divorce, then it is necessary to contact the registry office, where the formal procedure for divorce will be completed.
A church marriage is not concluded on paper, but before God; it is before him that the spouses are responsible for their family life.

For the church, as an institution, the concept of “debunking” does not exist, since it denies the very concept of divorce, putting the family first.

Here is a good video about civil marriage and debunking.

True, if you come to church and say that you want to get married or remarry out of boredom, you may be refused. The Church considers some specific reasons for divorce to be quite significant:

• Cheating on one of the spouses,
• An abortion performed by a wife without the consent of her husband, without medical necessity,
• Change of faith by one of the spouses,
• Incapacity for married life, and as a consequence for procreation, loss of legal capacity of a husband or wife,
• Diseases that threaten the health of unborn children (AIDS, syphilis and others),
• Entry of a husband or wife into another marriage,
• Alcoholism and drug addiction of one of the spouses,
• The risk of damage to the health of one of the spouses to the other,
• Pimping,
• Long-term absence of one of the partners,
• Inconsistency with Christian canons: marriage between relatives, marriage before reaching adulthood.

Thus, you yourself can answer the question of whether the first marriage needs to be debunked. It is possible only through a second church marriage. Whether this can be done depends on the reasons given above.

The wedding will take place the second time in the same way as the first, with the only difference that there will be no laying of crowns on the heads of the spouses.

A crown can only be laid on someone who is getting married for the first time. Otherwise, all the subtleties of the ritual are preserved in their original form.

After a divorce in the registry office or in court, it is impossible to go through the divorce process in the church; no one will give you a document confirming that you are no longer connected before God with your ex-spouse.

For a divorce by worldly standards, only a certificate from the civil registry office is sufficient, but dissolution of a church union is possible only through a second wedding.

Worldly reasons are not always considered good enough grounds for divorce, that is, if you do not have common interests with your spouse, the problems are related to finances, then be prepared for the church to condemn your divorce. A second marriage is permitted to the spouse who is innocent of the dissolution of the first marriage. Remarriage for those guilty of adultery is permitted only after fulfilling the penance imposed on him by the church.

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Since such a procedure as debunking does not actually exist, but there is only a blessing for a second wedding, there is no need to come with your ex-husband or ex-wife.

For a second church marriage, only the presence of you and your new chosen one is required; the former spouse is not required to be present at the second wedding.

If you decide to dissolve your previous union and remarry and go through the wedding procedure a second time, then you will need the following list of documents to correctly submit your petition:

1. Passport,
2. Certificate of divorce from first marriage,
3. Church marriage certificate,
4. If the divorce occurs due to the fact that the spouse has lost his legal capacity or is sick with an incurable disease, then medical documents confirming this must be provided, as well as a death certificate if the first spouse has died.

Along with these documents, you must submit a request to the Diocese for permission to perform a second wedding ceremony. Sometimes a petition for debunking is filed instead. Oddly enough, despite the absence of such a concept and procedure, a ritual, there is a statement about debunking (about removing crowns, removing blessings).

Procedure for divorce of married spouses

Some people have a question about how to get a divorce according to church rites.

To do this, the former married couple must first file a divorce with the government authorities, and then apply to the church with a request for a debunking.

This can be done in the parish, which is usually visited by husband and wife. You need to write a petition for divorce addressed to the diocesan bishop. One spouse can also file a petition. You need to be very responsible in drawing up the document and indicate in it all the reasons why the married couple no longer wants and cannot live together. The petition will be personally considered by the Bishop. The marriage is annulled if the clergyman finds valid reasons for its termination.

In addition to the petition itself, the couple will need to take with them to church:

• your passports (if the initiator of the debunking is one person, then only his passport);
• wedding certificate;
• document confirming legal divorce;
• if the basis for divorce is the illness of the husband (wife) or his (her) stay in prison, a medical report or a court decision in a criminal case will need to be additionally attached to the papers.

In fact, the church does not conduct any special debunking ceremony. The bishop reviews the documents submitted by the spouses and, if he considers the reasons why people want to divorce to be significant, gives them his blessing. For a person who has been found not guilty of family breakdown, the Orthodox Church, although reluctantly, allows him to marry before God a second time. A sinner through whose fault a divorce occurred, in order to atone for his guilt and receive a blessing for a second wedding, will need to sincerely repent and perform penance. The Orthodox Church does not allow entering into a union before God more than three times.

Is it possible to dissolve a church marriage?

It is wrong to think that a wedding is a kind of vaccination against divorce. A wedding is a testimony to society, God and the church that the spouses undertake to protect their love and their family. The issue of divorce after the wedding is decided by the bishop. The priest of the church where the spouses applied for a divorce takes measures to preserve the family, to find out the reasons for the breakdown of the marriage, but it is not in his power to allow the married couple to divorce.

If it turns out that one of the spouses has committed a spiritual crime against family and fidelity (for example, he cheated on his spouse), then he is considered guilty of the divorce, even if he did not initiate the dissolution of the marriage. The church allows the spouse who is not guilty of destroying the previous marriage to remarry.

The Church does not consider divorce to be contrary to Orthodox doctrine if the spouse:

• Fell away from Orthodoxy (this is a purely religious reason and is of fundamental importance only for deeply religious people, but the involvement of a spouse in any extremist organizations can affect even the most secular, unchurched family);
• Commits adultery, that is, cheats on the second spouse;
• Has unnatural vices - sodomy, misogyny, bestiality;
• Incapable of marital cohabitation due to a congenital or acquired health defect or self-harm;
• Sick of leprosy, syphilis, AIDS, alcoholism, drug addiction;
• Unknown missing;
• Sentenced to imprisonment for serious crimes (pre-revolutionary church rules allowed the dissolution of a marriage with a person sentenced to imprisonment and deprivation of the rights of state, but modern rules have been brought into line with the norms of current criminal law);
• Encroaches or has encroached on the life and health of family members (beating them, injuring them, causing damage to their health);
• Engages in daughter-in-law (sexual relations between a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law), pimping (promoting extramarital sexual relations of others), benefits from the indecency of a spouse (this happens when a spouse forces another spouse to engage in prostitution, distributes photographs and videos of elements of the spouse’s sexual life for the purpose of obtaining profit) ;
• Entered into a new marriage (it is legally possible to enter into marriage only after the dissolution of the previous marriage in accordance with family law, but divorce by law does not cancel the wedding; but the entry of a spouse into a new marriage excludes the preservation of the already married marriage);
• Is terminally ill with a serious mental disorder that eliminates the possibility of continuing married life;
• Maliciously abandoned his spouse as a result of which married life became impossible.

The commission of an abortion by a wife with the clear and expressed disagreement of her husband is another basis for the termination of a married marriage.

If these circumstances exist, documented, the spouse who is not responsible for the breakdown of the family can turn to the priest for help in a divorce. The case will be considered by the archbishop. A church marriage will be dissolved if the spouses have been legally divorced for at least a year.

Divorce in other religions

Unlike Orthodoxy, the Catholic Church does not allow married couples to divorce. However, in some cases, a church marriage among Catholics may be declared invalid. The basis for the annulment of a Catholic marriage may be the failure of one of the spouses to fulfill their promises made to them during the wedding ceremony (failure to be faithful, lack of support, etc.). But the Catholic Church, even if there are objective reasons, is in no hurry to annul a marriage. The dissolution of unions is dealt with by a church tribunal, and the procedure itself can take several years. Spouses will be advised not to rush into divorce and to focus all their efforts on reconciliation and continuation of family life. If the tribunal recognizes the marriage, the annulled spouses may be allowed to remarry or prohibited, if there are grounds for this.

Islam does not encourage marital divorce, considering it the most hateful act for Allah. But despite this, he treats him quite leniently. Among Muslims, it is easiest for a man to get a divorce after a wedding. To gain freedom, it is enough for him to pronounce a special formula for divorce in the presence of witnesses. At the same time, the man is allowed not to explain the reasons why he left his wife (although this is not approved in Islam). A Muslim woman will only be granted a divorce if she can provide evidence that her husband has performed his duties poorly. A Muslim can divorce and marry the same wife three times, after which she becomes forbidden for him. A man can get back together with her only after she marries another man and divorces him or becomes widowed.

Judaism, like other religions, has a negative attitude towards divorce after a wedding. However, if the husband and wife are equally committed to ending the marriage, they will be able to do so without any problems. Before the wedding ceremony, the husband is obliged to show his wife a special document (ketubah). It will stipulate all the conditions of the future marriage, including a possible divorce and financial support that the husband will provide to his wife after the divorce. Divorce after a wedding ceremony in Jewish families is possible only with the consent of both parties. In this case, the husband and wife will be divorced without much delay. Having received a letter of divorce, each spouse has the right to enter into a new marriage before God.

A wedding is a very important step in which the newlyweds swear allegiance to each other before God. It is worth agreeing to this great church sacrament only if the lovers are confident in the strength of their feelings and want to live their whole lives together. Today, most people treat weddings as a fashionable ceremony and do not realize its true meaning. Being married, they do not stop either from infidelity, or from rude treatment, or from drunkenness. In order for spouses not to worry about the question of how to get a divorce after a church wedding ceremony, they do not need to rush to enter into a church union. After living in an ordinary marriage for some time, they will be able to understand whether they should get married or whether their life together turned out to be an unfortunate mistake.