How much money to give for a wedding: rules of etiquette and common sense

When is it appropriate to give money for a wedding?

Giving money to newlyweds is a completely sensible idea. Firstly, you can significantly save energy and time when choosing a gift. Secondly, you won’t worry about other invitees giving the same gift. In addition, there is always the possibility of giving something unnecessary. And the heroes of the occasion will spend the money received as a gift on what they need.

There are several other reasons why it would be appropriate to give money for a wedding:

  • you found out about the upcoming wedding at the last moment, there is no time left to choose a gift;
  • you don’t know what to give;
  • The young family plans to live separately and does not have large funds.

Nowadays, newlyweds quite often make up a so-called “wish list”, in which they indicate what they would actually be pleased to receive as a gift, and even recommend stores where all this can be bought. Each guest has the opportunity to choose a gift that suits him at a price. If the future young family does not have such a list, you can ask them directly what they would like to receive for the wedding.

If the bride and groom prefer to receive a gift “in an envelope”, in the question of how much money should be given for the wedding, there is no need to mindlessly follow other invitees. First, evaluate your own financial capabilities, as well as how close the newlyweds are to you. Relatives and closest friends always give more money, and there are fewer demands on colleagues at work or study.

How much money is it not a shame to give to friends?

Before the event, friends of the newlyweds are racking their brains over how much money they should give to loved ones without offending them with a small amount or small bills. Here the situation depends on the financial capabilities and desires of friends.

Since most of the guests at the wedding are relatives and friends, the formula where the cost per person is multiplied by 2 also works in this case. At the same time, the witnesses present a “rustling gift” in the amount of several thousand more than the rest of those invited in the hall, with the exception of parents.

Just friends and acquaintances give 5,000 - 6,000 rubles, and witnesses are expected to contribute 10,000 each. If you don’t have a lot of money, then you can get out of the situation by putting a several thousand dollar bill in a postcard with one piece of paper. This is appropriate when friends are young students or have just started working.

How to understand how much money to give to newlyweds for a wedding

So, you finally decided to give some amount of money as a gift. Now you need to determine how much money to give to newlyweds for a wedding in 2021. Everyone's level of financial well-being is different, and the expenses that every family can afford are also not the same. Therefore, the guest’s material security and the degree of his relationship with the newlyweds directly affect the amount of money donated.

  1. Acquaintances, colleagues


    Colleagues and close friends can use a simple scheme to determine the amount of money for a gift.
    You need to estimate the estimated price of a wedding dinner for one guest on the festive table and double it.

    Thus, the newlyweds will reimburse the costs of the wedding banquet and receive the same money as a gift.

  2. Friends


    On average, people get married at the age of 20–30, and the newlyweds' friends are often their same age. At this age, they usually finish their studies and rise to the first step of the career ladder, some also begin family life. Accordingly, their financial capabilities are quite limited. Therefore, the best option would be to put in the envelope a large bill of a denomination that you can afford, for example, a hundred dollar bill or approximately the same as our five thousand bill. Most often, the gift amount is about 3-5 thousand rubles - this is slightly more than the average price of a wedding dinner.
    If you have financial difficulties, you can give 1–3 thousand rubles to a close friend or girlfriend. The witnesses can jointly decide how much money to give for the wedding and put equal shares into one common envelope.
  3. Close relatives


    Close relatives (aunts, uncles, grandparents) should not save on a gift for the newlyweds; they will have to spend more. The optimal gift amount starts from a bill of 5 thousand rubles or one hundred dollars. There is no upper limit here; it all depends on the financial capabilities and personal desires of the guest.
    Brothers and sisters can give 1–3 thousand rubles as an individual gift, to which you can add a small souvenir or a large bouquet of flowers. Or you can give a shared gift together with cousins ​​or parents.
  4. Parents of the newlyweds


    How much money to give to a son for a wedding, and how much money to give to a daughter for a wedding - such questions do not usually arise for parents.
    Among the most common gifts from parents:
    • own apartment.
    • honeymoon trip;

  5. automobile;
  6. country house.
  7. Alternatively, parents can give their children the financial equivalent of these gifts. And the newlyweds will decide for themselves what would be more useful for them to spend this money on.

How much is customary to give?

Presenting the newlyweds with money is a truly universal solution: this gift is necessary, appropriate, and compact. It can also be original if you present a sum of money in some unusual way. But how “expensive” should this surprise be?

The optimal amount depends on many factors:

  1. Relation degree . A gift to close relatives is usually in the range of 10,000-15,000 rubles, to “cousins” - up to 10,000 rubles, but the amount from parents has no restrictions at all: there is an unspoken rule according to which they must give better gifts to the young than the most generous guest.
  2. Locality . It is generally accepted that the larger the settlement in which a young family will live, the larger the amount should be. The approximate gradation is as follows: village or town: 1-2 thousand rubles from one person, district or regional center - 2-4 thousand, Moscow and St. Petersburg - from 5 thousand.

  • Wedding costs . This factor is usually taken as the initial one when calculating the minimum gift amount for distant relatives, neighbors, classmates, fellow students and colleagues. The formula is as follows: the approximate cost of a banquet per person (knowing the location of the wedding celebration, it is easy to clarify the price level in this establishment) is multiplied by two.
  • Own financial situation . It is different for everyone: some belong to rich relatives, others are just getting on their feet at the moment. There are no strangers or insiders at a wedding: if you are among the guests, it means you will be welcome in any case, even if your gift is modest.

How much money is customary to give for a wedding in other countries?

Each country has its own special traditions and customs. This also applies to wedding gifts. The minimum amount of money that must be given to newlyweds is different everywhere.

  • For post-Soviet countries, the minimum amount of a wedding gift is approximately equal - about 100 dollars . About a third of this money reimburses the cost of renting a restaurant and a gala dinner; 60–70% remains as a gift to the newlyweds. The size of a gift from parents is usually several times higher than the average.
  • In the European Union countries, on average, they give more than ours . It is common for German newlyweds to receive an amount of approximately $140. Giving less than $220 is considered rude at Swedish weddings. In Italy, the gift amount starts from 260 dollars, in Spain – from 300.

Olga, 28 years old, St. Petersburg

In my opinion, the size of a cash gift for a wedding depends on many factors. For example, how close are my friends? I can give 10 thousand to my closest ones, if possible; just good friends, the average gift is 6-7 thousand.

Also, an important point is the format of the wedding. If the wedding is luxurious, with a restaurant and big expenses, then I always plan a gift that is more expensive than when I just come to the registry office to congratulate.

In St. Petersburg, it seems to me that the average wedding gift is 3-5 thousand rubles. Anything less already smacks of either early studentism or greed. Most often, if I go alone, I give 5 thousand, if with my spouse, then 6-8 thousand.

Most often, if I go alone, I give 5 thousand, if with my spouse, then 6-8 thousand.

Options for a beautiful cash gift


How much do parents give for a wedding?
Opponents of donating money for a wedding argue their chosen position by the impersonality of the gift. They say that the newly-made family will spend the collected money on large purchases, and there will be nothing left for them to remember the guests invited to the wedding.

To prevent this from happening, you need to try to present the money not in a banal envelope, but in an original way. Then the newlyweds will receive positive emotions when receiving a present at the wedding, and will remember the moment for the rest of their lives.

The following options for the original presentation of a gift in the form of money can be distinguished:

  1. Glue the envelope with money to the book, and then tie it beautifully with a bow. When presenting, say: the best gift for a young family is a book. Choose a book at your discretion. Quite often they choose a culinary theme, considering it useful for every family. Knowing the hobbies of young people, choose what interests them. The second option is to purchase any book and cut a recess in it to the size of the bills. You will get a cache.
  2. Buy a beautiful photo album. Then cut out beautiful photographs of a house, apartment, car, diapers, boat and other necessary things from magazines. On each page of the album, include a photograph, a piece of paper with a cheerful wish and a real banknote. For example, under a photo of a house you can write: now you have something to strive for, we wish you to settle here.
  3. Buy a wooden chest with a double bottom and put money in a secret compartment. Leave a note in a visible place with the following text: You have money for a rainy day. If there is an urgent need, they should be found.

This is interesting: Which picture to choose for a wedding card?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BoLvQG_nZD8/

In the methods we have proposed, in addition to money, you will give the couple a small useful gift. It will remind the spouses of a happy day in their lives and the guest who originally congratulated them on their marriage.

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