Meeting the girl's parents: meeting the parents

Preparation

In order for the acquaintance to take place at the highest level, you should prepare for it. There are many nuances to be provided for, nothing to be forgotten. The first step to successfully meeting your parents is talking with the girl about them. Questions recommended for discussion:

What do parents like?
Their habits and preferences?
How do they feel about their daughter's relationship?
What are the features, topics, questions that should be avoided in conversation?

You have the opportunity to find out where you can meet girls and how to do it on our website. We talk in detail about ways to meet people at universities, on the street, on public transport, at the skating rink, at school, and also in the gym. And if you need tips on communicating at work or in a nightclub, then we can help you too!

How to prepare to meet your boyfriend's parents

A natural question. It's important to think about this in advance. This gives a good advantage and increases the chances of a favorable outcome of such an event. And, as they say: “Forewarned is forearmed!” In this particular case, the weapon is knowledge and awareness. So what do you need to consider and how to set yourself up? The following tips from family psychologists will help you:

Stop being afraid . Anxiety is common to everyone. But you shouldn’t take it to the point of absurdity. Such experiences threaten to turn into nightmares, and when you meet, it will not be a sweet miss, but a nervous and twitchy hysterical woman.
Collection of information . Take the time to find out from your boyfriend important information about his parents: education, habits, interests, family structure, history of the family tree, etc. Such knowledge will allow you to create a psychological portrait of your beloved’s mother and father. By the way, this will come in handy if you love cats, and his mother loves dogs. A cat lady and a dog lady can clash in a dispute “Which animal is better”, and this will play a bad joke at the first meeting. Find out about taboo topics—topics that are best left untouched. Plus, it's a great conversation starter—parents will appreciate your knowledge and interest in their habits and ancestry.
Tune in to positive emotions . You don't need to see everything in black. On the contrary, this is a new stage in the relationship. And then you look, and the wedding is just around the corner. Think of it as a prospect for further happy continuation.
Throw away the “Mother-in-law is a monster” stereotype . After all, how your relationship develops in the initial stages will determine your entire future life. Will you have a nice conversation when you meet or spit after each other, will your chosen one feel happy or constantly find you between two fires. Be wiser, even if your mother-in-law lacks this wisdom. Your man will appreciate it!
Your goal is mom . Most often, women are responsible for raising children in the family. Therefore, it is important to win over the mother. But this does not mean that the father should be ignored. Pay attention to all family members, but do it not feignedly, but sincerely. Show interest in your parents' profession. People love to talk about what they are good at.

First of all, you need to think positive and not let your fear take over. Believe me, his parents are also going through an exciting moment, especially if this is their only son. You can worry a little, but do not bring yourself to stress and panic.

Gift required

Coming to a girl's parents for the first time empty-handed is a bad idea. In order to defuse the situation and make a positive impression right from the start, it is better to choose and purchase a small gift in advance.

Basic rules for choosing a gift for a girl’s parents:

not too cheap and not very expensive. A cheap gift is unlikely to please anyone and will not characterize the giver from the best side. A gift that is too expensive may put parents in an awkward situation;
appropriate to the moment. You should not give a gift of a comic nature; ambiguous gifts may be misunderstood;
corresponding to taste. It is better to discuss the issue of a gift with the girl in advance. She knows her parents and their taste preferences better.

Gift options for mom can be:

flowers;
candies;
decorative items;
beautiful accessory;
favorite perfume;
a beautiful item for the kitchen (original dish, plate, etc.);
scarf.

When choosing a gift, you should definitely consult with your girlfriend. What if her mother is allergic to flowers or sweets? It wouldn’t hurt to find out what perfumes, candies, and accessories she likes.

Gift options for dad:

good alcohol;
cigars;
car accessory;
tie;
new computer game (possibly :)).

The gift is chosen depending on tastes and situation.

You can give something relevant to both parents at once. For example, tickets to a movie, theater, or concert. The main thing is to show attention and interest in communication.

Who invites guests

Following tradition, the bride's parents should invite the groom's parents to their home for the first acquaintance. Today, traditions are no longer observed, so there is no need to organize a feast or convene close and distant relatives. The event can be held in a narrow family circle. Moreover, if the groom's parents decide that the first acquaintance should take place on their territory, it is unlikely that such a decision will offend anyone.

If the couple already lives together and has a separate home from their parents, the young couple can easily welcome moms and dads into their home. In this case, the bride and groom will have to take on the troubles of organizing acquaintance. Prepare a meeting script in advance to smooth out any awkward moments. Check with your parents whether you need to serve alcoholic drinks and hot dishes or whether they will be fine with a tea and coffee table.

Appearance

It is unlikely that parents will like it if their beloved daughter’s chosen one comes in a dirty construction uniform or excessively tight low-cut jeans. Of course, all people are different, and some may like an extravagant look, but it’s not worth the risk. Clothing on the day of meeting should be:

clean, tidy. Nobody likes sloppy people. Parents who want the best for their daughter will not be happy with an unkempt young man;
discreet in style. You should not wear a carnival costume, a rocker outfit, or things that do not match each other. Sneakers with a business suit will clearly confuse parents and create tension from the first minutes of communication;
restrained in form . It is not recommended to wear shirts that are too bright or have an extravagant cut. It is better to give preference to classic things: shirts, trousers, t-shirts in neutral colors, jeans without unnecessary details.

In addition to clothing, you should pay close attention to:

perfume. The guy should smell like nice perfume. Don't overdo it;
hair They must be clean and neatly combed;
general condition. You shouldn’t go for a date if you have a cold or after a fun party. Sometimes it is better to postpone this important event and prepare better for it.

The process itself

When all the preparations have been made, the gift has been purchased, you can go to the girl’s parents and meet them. First, you must be sure to arrive at the appointed time; you should not be late.

First impression

The most important thing when you come to meet a girl’s parents is to make a good first impression. If communication doesn’t go well on the first notes, it will be quite difficult to correct the situation.

The very first thing you need to do when you visit a girl’s parents:

say hello;
greet mom and dad;
give gifts;
note that mom looks great or give some appropriate compliment.

If there are younger brothers and sisters in the family, it is imperative to provide a sign of attention for them: a toy, chocolate, etc.

After all the welcoming actions have been completed, the parents will probably offer to move to the table. Most likely, there will already be some dishes on it. A good move is to compliment the hostess about her hospitality.

If the option for meeting a girl’s parents is a family tea party, do not refuse the offered cup of coffee or tea.

Rules of etiquette

At dinner or a cup of coffee, it is better to behave as naturally as possible, but taking into account the rules of etiquette:

do not slurp, do not “slurp” tea, etc.;
do not speak with your mouth full;
woo the ladies;
note the taste of the dishes or the beauty of the table decoration;
behave with restraint, do not make stupid jokes;
be natural.

For those who are embarrassed to meet people in person, you can use the Internet. Find out the secrets of dating on Vkontakte and Skype: what is better to write and what questions to ask.

Rules of communication

It is clear that getting to know parents involves communication. And it is not always pleasant or expected. How to behave during communication:

respect for parents. You need to address yourself as “You” and find out in advance the name and patronymic of each of the girl’s parents;
good attitude towards the girl. The most pleasant thing for parents will be if they feel that their daughter is loved and needed;
listen to the end and do not interrupt. Nobody likes not to be listened to. It's instantly off-putting. You need to listen carefully to the question or story, and then start speaking yourself;
exclude sarcasm, irony and banter. These techniques are completely inappropriate when communicating with a girl’s parents. First of all, these are adults and you need to show respect to them. Secondly, irony can be misunderstood. You can and should joke, but carefully;
Don't reveal all your cards. Tricky questions must be answered with restraint, to the point and briefly. A lot of unnecessary words will seem useless. You shouldn’t “turn your soul inside out” when you first meet, but remaining silent and refusing is also not the best option;
be interested. You shouldn’t show excessive curiosity, but you can inquire about exciting moments in the conversation;
do not touch on prohibited topics. Perhaps in this family there are topics that are forbidden to be discussed. It is better to ask the girl about them in advance and exclude them from the conversation completely;
Be yourself. There is no need to pretend to be another person. The falsehood will be immediately felt and will be mistaken for a lie.

Rush hour - how to behave with your boyfriend's parents

And now, the cherished moment has come. You came on time. The cake was presented, everyone was introduced to each other. Let's move on to the next step - creating the perfect image. How to behave with a guy’s parents? To do this, we follow the rules of the three “NOTs”:

don’t interrupt;
don’t show our nuts;
Let's not turn our noses up.

You need to hide your cockroaches in your head far away. We try to show interest in the topic of conversation, even if we don’t like it. We don’t interrupt and don’t interfere with our additions if mom or dad say something. We don’t show arrogance, after all, not at a reception with the queen.

Remember:

You should not focus attention on yourself . Ask your parents more about their hobbies or about their son.
Be humble . If parents have noticed positive changes in their son’s character after meeting you, there is no need to focus on this and boast that “yes, yes, we will fix a lot of things and teach your son a lot of things.”
Don't have a passionate hug in front of your parents . Now is not the time to cuddle and kiss. Even if you feel uncomfortable among them, this is not a reason for such behavior.
When you first meet, you can clarify with them how they want you to address them . If you haven’t done this, then it will always be correct to call them by their patronymic name. If this does not suit them, they themselves will later say how it will be better.
If the first meeting took place on your territory - in the apartment where you live with your boyfriend, then it would be right to prepare for their arrival . Bring as much order as possible. Wash all corners and shelves. But don't forget about food. Ask the guy what his parents' food preferences are and prepare dishes accordingly.
You shouldn't chat incessantly . If you don't know what to say, it's better to remain silent.

Parent Questions

You will have to go through the most crucial moment in communicating with parents and answer their questions. Don’t think that they want to find a catch and put their guest in a bad light. In fact, they just care about what kind of person is next to their daughter. 5 most popular questions:

Question 1. About the seriousness of intentions.

This question is inevitable, and it will have to be answered. If you are not approaching a wedding with a girl, you should not swear to her parents of fidelity and endless love for their daughter.

In life, everything can change, and then it turns out that these were empty words. It is important to indicate a respectful, careful, reverent attitude towards the girl. This will be quite enough if the visit did not have a specific purpose - to start a conversation about the wedding.

Question 2. About family, children.

The question of attitude towards family values and love for children will definitely be asked. In any case, you should answer according to your own feelings. The answer must be correct and gentle.

If there are no children in your immediate plans, you should not openly declare that children are only under the sign of death. You just need to emphasize that everything is ahead, and it’s too early to think about it, and your plans include a career/study/army, etc.

Question 3. About plans for the future.

The question about plans for the near and not so future can be answered directly. Everyone has their own plans and dreams, you can voice them. For example, graduate from college/go to university/find a job/build a career/start a family, etc.

Question 4. About myself.

What is your hobby? Where do you study? What kind of person are you? What do you like/dislike? etc. There are plenty of options. When answering, you can talk about your interests, hobbies, and positive character traits. The main thing is not to over-praise yourself and not look like a narcissistic braggart. You can objectively talk about your successes and achievements.

Question 5. About parents.

You can tell about your parents, what they do, who they are, etc. There is no need to delve into family relationships and reveal all the nuances.

How to please your boyfriend's parents

Any girl dreams that after meeting her, only pleasant impressions remain about her. How to please a guy's parents and win their sympathy? Let's start in order:

Help . A good step would be to offer your help to the guy's mother when setting the table. If the table is set, then offer to help her clear the table after the dinner party is over. His mother will appreciate such an impulse, and a plus in the piggy bank is guaranteed.

Ekaterina, actress.
I remember how his mother told me later: “Not one of Andrei’s girlfriends has washed the dishes after dinner with us.” I was very pleased.

Show concern for the young man . It should be remembered that his mother evaluates you not only by your appearance, but also by your ability to take care of her son. It’s enough just like that, supposedly casually offering him to try a salad or something else. In general, show your care and affection in every possible way.
Measure in everything . When such maternal efforts are manifested, one should not reach the point of fanaticism. Otherwise, from the outside, the girl will look like a mother hen.
Eat everything! Here you should forget about the diet, and about the diet and its regime. Do you already know in advance that lunch will be filling? Arrange a fasting day the day before, but try all the dishes on the table. There is no need to pile mountains of food on yourself, just try a little of everything. A good appetite among guests is the best praise for the hostess, in this case the mother of the groom.
Compliment her culinary skills . This can be done in a very simple way. Say that you have never eaten such and such a salad, and ask for the recipe. It is better to cooperate with your future mother-in-law than to be on opposite sides of the barricades. The main thing is to show interest, it will not hurt you if you are polite and ask for the recipe, this does not mean that you will cook it at home every day.

Stop topics

There are points that should not be discussed when meeting a girl’s parents for the first time; meeting parents is not tolerated:

dark stories from the past, negative character traits of a guy can scare away and alert;
family troubles between parents, conflicts are best not mentioned;
religion, politics are slippery topics for discussion. You shouldn't touch them if possible. When talking about these topics, it is easy to offend your interlocutor or cause conflict;
girl's shortcomings. It will be unpleasant for parents to hear and discuss any mistakes of their daughter;
intimate questions, below-the-belt jokes. It’s not even worth explaining that this is simply unacceptable;
mutual acquaintances. Don't gossip or discuss mutual friends. It's ugly and inappropriate.