Basic rules of etiquette for seating guests at the table


At important celebrations, weddings, anniversaries, and receptions where a large number of guests are present, a specially designed seating chart for guests at the table is usually used. When drawing up such a seating arrangement, the rank of the invited guests must be taken into account.

Advice! In order not to rush around the table in search of your seat, it is recommended to first familiarize yourself with the seating chart. Typically, such a diagram is posted for public access, in the hall on a table, or sent out along with an invitation to a holiday or reception.

At receptions where a large number of guests are expected to be present, couvert cards are used, indicating the name and surname of the invited guest. Place them on a plate, near a glass of water or on a special stand.

General seating rules

  1. So, just as the places at the common table are divided according to their importance into more and less honorable ones, guests, when seated at the table, occupy strictly defined places.
  2. The most honorable place is the one located to the right of the owner/hostess, the next in importance is to the left. The farther the place is from the owner/hostess, the less honorable it is.
  3. When seating at the table, alternating men and women is mandatory.
  4. Guests at the table should be seated, taking into account their common interests.
  5. The main guest at the table is always placed to the right of the owner or opposite him, facing the window or door.
  6. A foreign guest is always a priority over a compatriot guest.
  7. All guests are seated according to their position in society and rank at work. Wives take seats according to their husband's position.
  8. Husband and wife should not be seated next to or opposite each other. The exception is newlyweds.
  9. Only men sit at the end of the table; women have no place at the edge of the table.

On a note! When seating guests, you should take into account their temperament, alternating between sociable and silent ones.

How to properly seat guests at a wedding

What to consider when seating guests

Place. Do not seat guests near speakers, near entrances to utility rooms, kitchens or bathrooms. If you still have to place the tables close to the musicians, give this place not to elderly relatives, but to younger and more active guests.

Closeness of relationship, not kinship. Yes, if there are a lot of guests, also focus on the closeness of your relationship - and this point may not concern kinship, because you see some relatives less often than friends.

Group by interests. The rest of the guests can be grouped not only by age, but also by interests. For example, sit your colleagues from work next to you - they will definitely have something to talk about. And don’t be afraid to seat guests from the groom’s side and the bride’s side at the same table - a wedding is an excellent occasion for them to get to know each other better.

Speech. It is better to place foreign guests next to those who can carry on a conversation, if not in their native language, then at least in English.

Newlyweds. A separate table is allocated for the newlyweds, where they sit alone or with friends - this way the bride and groom will have someone to communicate with throughout the evening.

Or you can set aside a place for the newlyweds at each table - just leave two empty chairs and place settings so that they can sit with all the guests in turn after each break.

Parents. It is not always a good idea to seat relatives closer and friends further away so that the newlyweds have someone to communicate with during the holiday. Well, relatives will not necessarily actively participate in competitions.

Elderly relatives. It is better to plant them together and away from the speakers, even if this means planting them away from the newlyweds. Elderly people do not feel very comfortable in the very epicenter of events.

Children. For children, if they are over 4 years old, you can allocate a separate table, order an animator and a special children's menu. This includes savings on the banquet - about 70% of the cost per guest, and an opportunity to relax for their parents. Children under 14 years old should be seated on the edge, near the aisle, in the corner, at tables with a poor view - in general, anywhere where adult guests would be uncomfortable. As a rule, after 20 minutes of the banquet, they will get bored with the holiday and will go for a walk around the territory. And the chairs can be removed and replaced only when necessary

Ordering a seating chart

A wedding seating chart is a diagram of the table arrangement that helps guests find their seat without any hassle. Ideally, mark the newlyweds’ table, entrance and exit, and stage on a general map to help people find their way in an unfamiliar place.

A modern wedding seating plan looks more like an art installation without drawing the outlines of the tables and can be in the form of a garland, a window, a fence or a collage of photos of the guests. A nice bonus is that a beautiful seating chart can become a separate photo zone.

Some tips:

  • Order your seating plan after you know the exact number of guests. Will the guest be with a couple, will they take children with them? Ideally - a week before the celebration. As practice shows, up to this point everything can still change more than once
  • It is better to place the seating chart near the welcome zone or buffet table, and not at the entrance. So that guests do not create a congestion when they stop to find their place.
  • Write the names of the guests as you are used to addressing them in everyday life. Your beloved grandmother, whom you called Musya from birth, may not immediately find your bearings if Maria Pavlovna is written on the card. This will help complement the cozy atmosphere of the holiday.
  • The organizer, coordinator, banquet manager and waiters must have a copy of the seating chart so that they can tell the guest his place if he asks them for help

Basic rules for seating guests

  • Start by deciding on your wedding format and table layout.
  • When planning seating, take into account the interior features of the hall - for example, columns, niches, balconies. Sit fewer guests at tables where they block the view.
  • Near the stage itself and near the speakers is not the best place for tables for guests, especially older ones
  • You should not seat guests at the entrance to the kitchen or at the passages to the bathrooms - waiters and other guests will constantly disturb them
  • Seat closer to the stage not your parents, but active friends who will be interested in participating in competitions
  • Guests should not be seated at the ends of the tables - this is more likely to create discomfort than to be a sign of respect
  • If you can’t seat your guests so that everyone sits facing the screen, order additional screens from a technology company and place them at different ends of the room
  • You shouldn’t sit strangers next to each other to “introduce you at the wedding” - this can lead to awkward silence rather than a friendly conversation.
  • At one table where all the married couples are, you should not place a guest who came alone. The same applies to a group of close friends – and one guest they don’t know.
  • Reserve a few extra seats for guests who decide to take children or a significant other at the last minute
  • For children over 4 years old, you can already allocate a separate table and menu
  • If guests at the same table speak different languages, arrange for a translator
  • It would be great to provide a separate lounge area for guests who are tired of sitting at the table or just want to relax and chat in silence; place it away from the stage
  • Designate a smoking area, even if the wedding is taking place outdoors, so as not to create discomfort for other guests

Pay attention not only to the number of invitees, but also to their age, interests, degree of relationship, and even the language they speak.

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Author of the article: Olga Zalata, designer for creating wedding websites Onelovestory

Photos taken from open source Pinterest
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Peculiarities of seating at an informal reception

  1. When arranging seating for an informal reception, the main guest is determined by the owner of the house. The most commonly used method is relative priority, but seating arrangements can also be made in accordance with the status of the invited people.
  2. When seating, the age of the guests must also be taken into account, grouping older guests separately from younger ones.
  3. The guest of honor is brought to the table by the owner of the house, the guest of honor is brought to the table by the hostess.
  4. At the table at an informal reception, the host and hostess sit opposite each other.
  5. Also, men and women who came together sit opposite each other.
  6. If guests come with children, then the children are seated at a separate table.
  7. When seating guests, the presence of mutual sympathy between the guests is taken into account.


On a note! When creating a seating arrangement, it is important not to overload the table, seating instead of 8 – 10, or even 12 people at the same time. In order for those sitting to be comfortable and not to be crowded elbow to elbow, there should be about 60 cm per seat.

How to accommodate guests if you have little space in your apartment

We are waiting for guests. A lot of guests. But here’s the problem: the modest dimensions of the apartment do not allow accommodating a large number of people. So what should we do? Deny yourself the pleasure of having fun? In no case!

Here's a real-life situation. We invited guests to a birthday party. We decided to gather everyone: relatives, friends and neighbors. We counted and thought. It turned out to be a lot, but there was nowhere to plant it. Maybe divide it into two groups and place one in the kitchen and the second in the hallway. It can be expensive to celebrate in a cafe. How to act without offending anyone? We tried to come up with something.

Here are just some of the ideas that arose in our heads: 1. Kebabs in the courtyard of the house. But something stopped us: the house is in the city, and the neighbors walk around, looking with sad eyes at our goodies. In general, with this situation, the holiday is unlikely to succeed;

2. Table on the floor. At first glance, the idea seems successful: a tablecloth is laid out, treats are placed on it, and satisfied guests sit around. But will they really be happy? Sitting on the floor is somehow uncomfortable, and my legs are numb. The sediment will remain, and neither dancing nor the atmosphere of general fun will help to cope with it. In general, it was decided to abandon this strange idea;

3. “Visitation schedule.” We think we will divide the guests into groups and let each one go for a couple of hours. But it will turn out somehow insincere, as if everything is for show. After all, you want to sit with the whole cheerful and friendly company on your holiday. In general, we are looking for other options;

4. Oh! Good idea! We will remove large furniture from the room and make smaller seats. So it will turn out: a small table, tiny chairs, some kind of land of Lilliputians... In general, it’s labor-intensive and inconvenient... We refuse.

5. Shouldn’t we set up a buffet table in the middle of the room? The idea seems to be not bad: everyone is standing, but everyone is assembled. Again, a treat is on the table... At least start dancing now... But it seemed to us that something was missing...

And here it is, the optimal solution that we have been waiting for so long has been found. They collected all the carpets from the apartment (so that, God forbid, they wouldn’t get stained) and took them to a neighbor’s house. The TV also went there (so as not to distract from the celebration). The slightly empty rooms were turned into separate rooms, each with its own theme.

READ ALSO: How to choose a chandelier without mistakes?

Our living room became a disco room. There we installed a buffet table and added appropriate paraphernalia. We assigned the bedroom the role of a hookah bar, where our guests could be in silence and relax. There were also snacks: my friend Lena periodically brought a tray of food there. The room is decorated in a muted red color, the music matches the tone - a light “lounge”.

The kitchen has become a sweet corner for those who like to sit and drink. We built a bar counter in the middle of it and placed high chairs around it. Our most artistic guest, the brother of the birthday boy Petya, became a bartender. You could have fun in the kitchen not only with cocktails, but also with bets. Betting on what? Yes to anything! For example, who will enter the room first. We also had a poker set and roulette ready for the guests.

Our idea pleased both the guests and ourselves. No one was bored: everyone walked around different rooms and had a lot of fun. The birthday boy received gifts and congratulations from everyone. In general, it turned out to be fun and interesting! It’s good that the neighbors downstairs were among those invited).

Do you know where the most original birthday greetings are on the Internet? The website www.raz-v-god.com contains prose and poetry from talented authors who write unique wishes from the heart so that they can then be scattered all over the world and give joy to every birthday person. Using the free content of this congratulatory resource, you will receive regular updates with new wishes from wonderful authors. The organizers of the site also worried about a more individual approach to congratulations. On the site you will find an excellent selection of wishes for names, which take into account the specific meanings of each name. The birthday boy will not only receive attention from you, but also a sense of the significance of his qualities that symbolize his name. Even if you don’t have a person in mind today whom you want to congratulate, we suggest you bookmark the site so as not to miss the opportunity to give an original congratulation on the occasion.

Seating methods

The choice of seating method depends on the number of invited guests. Popular seating arrangements include:

  • traditional. All guests sit at one table.
  • American This method involves seating 8 people at separate tables.
  • English Guests are seated at two parallel tables. Perfect for parties with children.
  • Italian. Assumes seating for 4 people.

On a note! When using American, English or Italian seating, tables are numbered and the invitation for guests indicates the number of the table intended for them.

Round table: seating details

Seating guests around a round table helps create a friendly atmosphere, and therefore implies close relationships between people. The advantage of this seating arrangement is the ability to see each other and, accordingly, maintain a general conversation at the table. The general seating rules are also taken into account here: alternation of men and women and priority of guests.

Knowing the rules of etiquette will allow you not only to organize a party correctly, but also not to get lost when invited to a reception. Using generally accepted rules for seating guests at the table will be the key to creating a pleasant atmosphere and good mood.


On the importance of an organizational event

Why does the seating arrangement of guests at a wedding play an important role? Firstly, if a person is late for the event, his place will remain free. Secondly, with proper placement, people will be happy to communicate with each other, since family members and good friends are sitting nearby. The celebration will be held at a high level in the absence of antipathy. Not a single person will leave in a bad mood, the celebration will not end in a fight or scandal. Thirdly, upon arrival at the holiday, people will quickly find their seats. If you seat your dear guests correctly, everyone will be able to see the bride and groom.

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