What to do after the wedding - a list of important things to do

Planning, Preparation, Articles December 17 The Bride

To make it easier for you to navigate the post-wedding turmoil, in this article we have prepared for you a cheat sheet with a list of 10 main things that you should pay attention to immediately after the celebration.

Change last name

If after the wedding you decide to take your husband’s last name, it is not enough just to edit the data on your page on social networks. Unfortunately, you won't be able to avoid bureaucratic red tape in the next couple of months. But let the thought warm your soul that this will save you from legal problems in the future if you and your child have different last names. And these efforts, needless to say, are pleasant! In short, you have 30 days from the date of registration to receive a new passport, after which the old one will be considered invalid. But, in addition, do not forget to make changes to your medical policy, INN, SNILS and replace bank cards. By the way, have you already come up with a new signature?

What does a stamp in a passport change?

The official registration of the relationship itself does not change anything. Can a marriage certificate make a completely careless person more responsible? It’s unlikely... But if a man is ready for creation and sees you as his life partner, you can feel like you’re behind a stone wall even without painting.

After the wedding, the life of the newlyweds changes only if this moment coincides with the beginning of their life together. In recent years, most young people prefer to test the strength of their feelings through common everyday life, so the starting point should not be the appearance of a wedding ring on the finger, but the time when the guy and the girl decided to start living together, but here, too, not everything is clear.

Parents often help young couples by paying for rented housing or supporting them financially until the lovers learn to support themselves. Such a life is more reminiscent of a resort than of gray everyday life. The young man is deprived of the opportunity to show the level of his responsibility, and his beloved girlfriend has no idea what their life together will be like if there is no one to help them. Early marriages are full of romance and positive emotions, but the spouses’ perception of life is often far from reality.

Stage 2 - Soul in the palm of your hand

At this stage, he and she open up completely.

He knows how she looks in the morning without makeup and shaves her legs, that her soups are always too salty, and the “fat butt” complex has haunted her since school.

She learns that he hates visiting people, it’s better not to touch him during football matches, and he will put his socks where he wants and when he wants.

A difficult stage of a relationship, the severity of which is aggravated by the birth of a child: lack of sex, wife’s fatigue, baby’s cries at night, lack of former passion and romance, stretch marks, saggy tummy, circles under the eyes.

It’s a rare man who “breaks the mold” and carries his wife and baby in his arms, not caring from the high bell tower about her stretch marks, and about soup from bags, and about postpartum depression, because “he loves, and the rest is nonsense.”

Most men, unfortunately, begin to slip and regress during this period.

• This period is only for team work. Working alone is the way to “reef”. We must remember that there are not even two of you anymore, that responsibility has increased.
• Don't try to run away from problems. No matter how hard it is, breathe out and do what you have to do. All these problems are temporary. A couple of years will pass, and you will remember these difficulties with a smile.
• Everything that used to touch you about your other half is now starting to irritate you. And sometimes it seems that you are ready to break everything and start a new life. Don’t rush to ruin your life - this is just a period that every family goes through. And it depends only on you whether you will nurse your grandchildren together in your happy old age, or whether you will separate like ships at sea.
• Don’t be upset that there is no more romance and those “first” feelings. This is fine. The natural process of relationship development: they simply moved to a new level. Romance is a veil, a haze under which your true characters are hidden. But there is no more haze - you have already studied each other well enough, that’s why there is no such passion. But this does not mean that love has died - you simply turn into 2 halves of one whole.
• Diversify your life together. It is clear that you know each other’s step and every word in advance, that you lack the feeling of novelty. But only you yourself can bring this newness to the relationship. Change your image, have romantic evenings, diversify your intimate life, and don’t forget about traveling.

Take the dress and suit to the dry cleaner and store it

Many brides don't know what to do with their dress after the wedding. First, send your outfits to the dry cleaner. Invisible stains will be difficult to remove over time. In addition, stale clothes create an odor. The dry cleaner will process the clothes and return them as good as new. Subsequently, the suit and dress should be aired at least once a year.

Can't figure out where to put your dress after the wedding? Place it in a fabric case and hang it in a closet for storage, or fold it into a bulk box and send it to the mezzanine. This is, of course, memory. But she remained in the beautiful photos. You can still get money for the outfit. Therefore, some brides are thinking about selling.

Many salons accept used dresses. For items in perfect condition, future buyers will pay only 50% of the cost. It benefits them and you.

Ideas for maintaining a romantic relationship between husband and wife

• Never cease to surprise each other, arrange romantic dates, have dinner by candlelight, walk around the city at night;

• Do not sit at home, go to the theater or cinema, to exhibitions, to parties;

• Travel. Of course, the financial side of the issue may not be in favor of a young family, but you can travel not only around the world, but also in your home country;

• Giving each other gifts for no reason. It doesn’t have to be jewelry or fashionable gadgets, the main thing is to show attention to your loved one;

• Regular sex life, adding variety to it. There is no need to be shy about talking to your partner about your sexual preferences;

• Always sleep in the same bed, even if you work until late in the evening or return from a corporate event.

To maintain warm and trusting relationships in a young family, you should not wash dirty linen in public. Many girls share family troubles with friends, parents, and work colleagues. This cannot be done, because with your husband you will resolve your problems, and those around you will always think badly of him.

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Having a child is the goal of almost every marriage. But there is no need to rush too much, especially if your partner insists that he is not ready for this yet. A young family first needs to acquire housing and a minimum set of property.

Another question is if the marriage was created due to pregnancy. There is nothing shameful in this; many couples get married only because of the birth of a child, although before that they were happy together only without a stamp in their passport. For a young family that will have a child in the near future, it is most difficult. A man should strive to earn more to provide for his wife and child; suffers deprivation in terms of sex and usual meetings with friends. Therefore, it is worth paying special attention to him, not reproaching him, and sometimes allowing him to unwind in the company of friends.

Life after the wedding is just beginning; to live happily with your loved one, it is important to hear him and be heard, to trust each other. Ideal family relationships are built on mutual love and patience.

Video on the topic of the article:

Why do family relationships deteriorate?

The breakdown of early marriages is a common thing, and the cliched phrase “They didn’t get along” does not reveal the true reasons for divorces, but in essence there are two of them:

• Unjustified expectations . In a state of love, the guy and the girl did not notice each other’s shortcomings, but after some time, the character traits, habits, or lifestyle of the once loved one became unacceptable for one of them;
• Outdated stereotypes and unnecessary restrictions . People do not live the way they want, but according to the rules imposed by the public, and first of all, by their closest relatives. Everything they do happens not because they want to, but because “it’s the right way.”

Both reasons boil down to one, basic one - people refuse to accept each other as they are. This sounds a little ridiculous, because before the wedding both were happy with everything. Oddly enough, very often those behavior traits that at one time seemed attractive to us begin to irritate a loved one.

It is important to understand that a popular beauty, even after marriage, will please not only her husband, and with a temperamental man, the young wife will not only have fantastic sex, but also a stormy showdown. Only a realistic assessment of the situation can save a sinking ship. Admit it to yourself honestly - your spouse was the way he is before the wedding, you just saw him in a slightly different light. The person is not to blame for this, and if by and large you don’t feel so bad with him, maybe you should be more tolerant of him?

Where does romance go?

From a scientific point of view, falling in love is a biochemical process in the body during which a person’s behavior changes as follows:

• Heart rate increases;
• A person is thrown into heat and cold;
• Partial loss of appetite;
• There is a feeling of flight and a desire to “move mountains”;
• A person becomes distracted and finds it difficult to concentrate on anything;
• Tolerance towards people appears, irritability disappears;
• Hidden talents awaken;
• A person begins to perform actions that are unusual for him.

There is no heaven in a hut

Marrying a free artist without a regular income, his bride could not help but understand that he would not be able to fully provide for his family. Nevertheless, she chose him. During the candy-bouquet period, it seemed to her that mutual love would be enough for them to be happy. A certain period of time passes (usually 1 year, and sometimes even less - several months), and the lack of stability begins to depress her. The man is accused by his wife of all sins, but mainly of stealing the best years of her life. An absurd situation, isn't it? The husband leads his usual lifestyle, and the wife dramatically changes her attitude towards him. It turns out that the reason is not in his behavior, but in her thoughts.

You can save such a marriage, if, of course, there is such a desire, in two ways:

• Accept the situation as it is . Many women honestly admit that from a material point of view, the husband does not have enough stars in the sky, but he is kind, understanding, a good father for their child, etc.
• Take financial responsibility . Not all wives are ready for this, but many are quite happy to take on the role of breadwinner, while the husband takes care of the house and looks after the children.

Sort out your wedding gifts

This is also one of the items on the list of important post-wedding things that you have to do. Besides the fact that this in itself is a pleasant activity, it is also extremely useful. You will be given a lot of things that will be useful in everyday life. They all need to find a worthy place in the house. There will definitely be cash gifts as well. Together with your husband, you should discuss what use you will find for these gifts. Options may vary depending on the situation. The donated amount can be used to pay off a debt if it was formed during preparation for a wedding celebration, or spent on a honeymoon, or on the first joint purchase of something significant, from a microwave to a car, or housing (ideally).

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Accept your new status

This is how absolutely all girls are made, that they dream of a wedding almost from the cradle. In our fantasies, we paint a beautiful fairy tale in bright, realistic colors. Living a dream is great, it stimulates its implementation in reality. But when it comes true, you have to set new goals for yourself, and starting with something is difficult. The first thing you have to get used to is your new status. Just yesterday you were a bride, living your life, doing what you wanted, treating everything with ease and ease. And today you are a wife, with new responsibilities, a new way of life, responsibility to your loved one, not yet burdened with the burden of household worries due to their absence. It's time to start making new plans. For what? Yes, it's just fascinating!

Start small. Have you already discussed with your husband who will be the first to bring coffee to bed? If not, let that be the first thing. This small but very romantic responsibility will make your first steps together in family life very pleasant. What could be better than to start caring for each other?! Distribute with your spouse the days of the week when it’s whose turn it is to make coffee. You can even beat this. For example, draw lots. Write the names of the days of the week on pieces of paper and with your husband pull leaves from a hat, or a jar, you can even from under the pillow, who needs to make coffee that day. Everyone will be pleased to receive a cup of aromatic drink with a tender bun or cake in bed. This makes both girls and boys happy equally. My husband will be delighted with this idea!

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Go on a trip

Most newlyweds think about this even before the wedding. What you want doesn’t always come true, but now you have every chance to make your dream come true. A short cruise will only strengthen your feelings, give you the opportunity to get more accustomed to each other, and begin to perceive the every-minute presence of your loved one in a new way. In addition, spending blissful time will prolong the feeling of celebration. Better choose a vacation on the sea coast.

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If the budget does not allow, then you can go not too far. The wonderful southern resorts of the Russian coast will provide you with a full range of services for your honeymoon and will leave pleasant memories in your soul.

You can travel not only in summer. During the cold season, you can visit the historical cities of our Motherland. One of the most romantic is St. Petersburg with its palaces, squares, bridges over the Neva and many remarkable places.

Our video may suggest where to go:

What not to do at a wedding

There are also many prohibitions and restrictions that must be strictly observed. For example:

• On the day of the celebration, no one should be allowed to pass between the young people. To prevent this, after the ransom and before the registry office, the newlyweds’ clothes are secured with a pin.
• It is not recommended to photograph the bride and groom separately, as otherwise they may separate.
• Parents should make sure that strangers do not try to straighten the clothes of the young ones.

This is only a small part of the existing prohibitions.

Wedding signs for guests

Before the celebration, it would also be a good idea for guests to study the most important wedding signs so as not to embarrass the newlyweds or sadden them.

• Bridesmaids and other women and girls invited to the wedding should not stand in front of the bride in the mirror. The same rule applies to men. Otherwise, the marriage may collapse.
• Under no circumstances should bridesmaids help wash the dishes, otherwise they will quarrel with the newlyweds.
• You should not give a new couple sets of knives and forks to avoid quarrels in the family.
• You can't come to a wedding without a gift. If there is no imagination, then you can always give money.
• You definitely need to say hello to the bride and groom, approach them and congratulate them.

It is also not recommended to dress in white or black. White color should be left to the bride so as not to intercept the glances directed at the hero of the occasion. Black color is suitable only for a morning wedding; in the evening it does not look very good.

Signs after the wedding

A wedding dress (both dress and veil) cannot be sold . It is best to keep them for life so that the marriage does not break up. No one should try on the jewelry from the bride’s head, as this is how she gives away her happiness.

You need to wear rings constantly. It is they, according to folk legends, who protect spouses from envy, adversity, illness and quarrels. You can’t let someone try on a ring - it means putting fate in the wrong hands.

The newlyweds must decide for themselves whether to believe in wedding superstitions or not. However, by paying too much attention to them, the bride and groom greatly limit their freedom of action. Probably, the most important thing is the sincere and deep feelings of the young people and the willingness to overcome any difficulties together. This is quite enough for happiness.