It is considered the happiest time in the lives of young people, when they can fully enjoy each other’s company, without hiding or caring about people’s rumors. For modern newlyweds, a honeymoon is an excellent opportunity and a reason to go somewhere to see the world, change the environment and just relax.
What is a honeymoon?
For those wondering what a honeymoon is, it is worth answering that we are talking about thirty happy days in the life of newly-made spouses, immediately following the wedding day. In European culture, this concept has been known for several hundred years, but Russia became acquainted with it relatively recently, and since then it has become firmly entrenched in local culture.
Russians adopted the tradition of going on a post-wedding trip from the Americans and Europeans when the Iron Curtain opened and films flooded onto domestic screens in which a newlywed couple set off on a long journey to the hooting of the crowd and the rumble of tin cans tied to the bottom of the car. Today, many newlyweds refuse a traditional wedding with numerous relatives, toastmaster, “groomsman” and “buddy”, preferring to spend money on a romantic vacation under the canopy of palm trees and the sound of the surf.
Why is a honeymoon called a honeymoon?
It is no coincidence that they called him that. The first month after the wedding is called honey since then, when a low-alcohol drink - nutritious honey - was prepared for a special wedding ceremony. It was placed on the festive table, and at the end of the celebration, the young couple were allowed to drink only this drink for the entire thirty days. The container for it was a wooden barrel, and in total the newlyweds were supposed to drink 5-10 liters of tincture, which was prepared for many years at low temperatures.
She imparted vivacity, fun and positive emotions without unnecessarily stupefying the head. Modern newlyweds no longer drink nutritious honey. According to tradition, at the registry office they are served champagne, and after the official part, the bride and groom try not to drink strong alcohol, because they will have to endure a difficult day with honor and have strength for the coming night.
How long does the honeymoon last?
The duration of the honeymoon is 28-31 days, depending on what month of the year the wedding date falls. This is all conditional, because the honeymoon is, first of all, a time when the newlyweds can calm down, recover from exhausting preparations for the wedding and simply relax in the company of a loved one. It would be nice if everyone at work was given leave for family reasons, but this does not always happen. Entrepreneurs and businessmen who work for themselves do not have this opportunity and often their honeymoon lasts only a couple of days.
How to calculate the optimal timing for a honeymoon?
It is necessary to study the country, the city where the newlyweds are going. If the chosen place is very rich in various attractions, then you should stay there longer in order to have time to get around all the famous places. For example, there is no point in coming to Scotland for the weekend. The cost of travel will be high, and there will not be enough time to explore all the endless beauties. A measured, relaxing holiday by the sea should not exceed one week. Why is that? The fact is that a peaceful vacation without excursions, unnecessary people, an abundance of impressions and entertainment is very relaxing, but can quickly get boring.
Those who like to spend all their days and nights with each other in a hotel will also soon get bored with even the most luxurious and romantic surroundings. Therefore, in order for the memories to remain bright and rich, such a vacation should be even a little shorter in time than desired.
Small spool but precious. If you want to treat yourself to a luxurious vacation that will be remembered for a lifetime, then a few days or even a weekend will be enough. For events such as a honeymoon, the main thing is that the vacation is memorable, unusual, and above the standard annual vacation budget. The number of days of travel also depends on the cost of moving to the holiday destination. The higher it is, the more profitable it is to stay in the country longer.
If the choice fell on an active holiday, such as a tour of Europe, then it is worth planning the route in advance, dividing it into a certain number of days spent in a particular city. Such active recreation, thanks to frequent changes of environment, can be extended for a longer period, if funds allow. So, if a regular vacation in the same hotel on the beach gets boring in five days, then such a trip can be extended for several weeks.
Why do you need a honeymoon?
Nowadays, the true concept of a honeymoon has been somewhat abandoned. Often, young people live together for years, and then decide to get married without pompous ceremonies and unnecessary celebrations. They do not miss the opportunity to celebrate this important event in the life of the newly formed social unit by going to a restaurant, having a candlelight dinner at home or organizing a vacation in hot countries, fortunately the Iron Curtain is long gone and Russians can travel abroad freely.
This is what a honeymoon is after a wedding, and how to spend it, everyone decides for themselves. When partners love each other, when they still have reverent and tender feelings, they easily find the opportunity to spend the happiest time in their own family life. After all, you can give love, show care and attention without even leaving the walls of your home.
Dreams and reality
Next, we’ll talk about what crises there are in family life over the years and how to overcome them, since each period of life together has its own difficulties. Let's look at the main stages of a relationship.
When young people have moved to a more serious stage of the relationship, this is followed by their official confirmation. Since childhood, girls dream of a wedding, a chic celebration, a beautiful white dress, how she will go out to meet her lover, and catch the admiring glances of her friends and loved ones. In dreams, it looks like a fairy tale about Cinderella, which did not talk about how she lived with the prince after the wedding. Hence the question creeps in: “Is there life after marriage?” You can answer it only by understanding the main stages of relationships between people. There are only 5 of them.
Where to spend your honeymoon?
Tourism business organizers often offer newlyweds a package of services specifically for such an occasion. Among the existing areas, the following are especially popular:
- Nice, France
. It is no coincidence that the best honeymoon destinations include a holiday on the Mediterranean Sea in one of the most beautiful places in Europe. Here you can walk along the winding streets of the Old Town, sit in a cozy cafe and enjoy the warm sea. - Virgin Islands, USA
. If in the first month of marriage you want to go to a place where there is only sea, sun and golden sand, then you cannot find a better place. This is a real paradise, like from a Bounty advertisement. - Tuscany, Italy
. It is a place of endless hills, fields and vineyards. Far from the noise of big cities, you can have a great time in a quiet and cozy hotel, enjoying excellent wine and the view from the window.
The second stage is identity disclosure
At the second stage, very often people learn something new about their beloved, most often these are negative traits. A man already knows that his wife doesn’t look as flawless in the morning as she does in the afternoon with a decent layer of makeup, that her eyelashes and hair might be false, and to keep her legs always smooth, she has to shave them every day. In addition, hidden complexes of a woman appear, which she hid so carefully, such as an imperfect figure, fear of gaining extra pounds, and so on.
But many of the husband’s secrets are also revealed to the wife. She understands that for him, spending the weekend in front of the TV is more comfortable than going somewhere, that he is sloppy, his socks are everywhere, he smells of sweat, he does not like guests, and especially her girlfriends, taking out the trash is a great problem for him.
If a child appears at this stage, then the relationship is only worsened by the fact that the woman loses her former attractiveness. They don’t sleep at night, they have to forget about sex for a long time, because they don’t even have the strength for it. At the same time, the child’s constant crying, the woman’s nervousness and irritability due to hormonal imbalances and fatigue. At this time, all romance and passion disappears. Living together becomes unbearable.
As the psychology of family life says, it is extremely rare for a man at this stage of a relationship to turn a blind eye to everything. And also, not to notice his wife’s hysterics, but will begin to carry her in his arms and confess his love. More likely, the opposite will happen: the stronger sex will break under the burden of everyday life, and if they do not leave the woman and the child, then it will be too late to come home, and they will often be late at work.
During this period, it is very important to support each other. You need to understand that the most important thing now is the child. As soon as he grows up, harmony in the family, as a rule, returns to normal.
You cannot run away from problems that have arisen; this will only make the situation worse. All difficulties are temporary, so you need to be patient and do what is necessary. If the woman you love begins to irritate you because she has lost her attractiveness, then you just need to help her with the child so that she finds time for herself. The lack of romance and past passion should not interfere with relationships at this time. It is important to view such changes as absolutely normal.
The best way out of such a difficult period is considered to be diversity in family life. You can leave your child with grandma and go for a walk around the city at night or go out into the world. A woman can try to change her image, dress as attractively as possible, despite the deterioration of her body.
Second honeymoon
In the life of a married couple, not only happy events happen, but also adversity, loss, and anxiety. Often spouses separate, but after some time the family is reunited when the partners realize that they cannot live without each other. This is what a honeymoon means, and since they already had the first one in their life, it is called the second. They say the same thing if a wife and husband become closer and closer after some unpleasant event, for example, betrayal, as happened with the famous heroes of the film “Love and Doves.”
Start of a relationship
The beginning of a relationship is the most wonderful time when people begin to get to know each other gradually, discovering new features in their loved one. They are influenced by their feelings and see only the good in their partner. Figuratively speaking, young people put on “rose-colored glasses” that prevent them from seeing each other’s negative qualities. Lovers go to the cinema, cafes, walks, generally have fun, their relationship is filled only with good impressions and they have not yet observed any real problems.
Idioms
- A guest at the wrong time is worse than a Tatar, but a guest on a honeymoon is worse than the devil.
(A. Chekhov. “Drama on the Hunt”) - When the first month of marriage is only the month of honey, the second month is the month of wormwood.
(Iranian saying)
In the novel “Zadig, or Fate” by the French writer and philosopher Voltaire, the words are quoted: “Zadig experienced that the first month of marriage, as described in the book of Zend, is a honeymoon, and the second is a wormwood month.” The author refers to the bitterness of disappointment that newlyweds face after the first days of their desired life together K: Wikipedia: Articles without sources (type: not specified)[ source not specified 2608 days
].
Psychology of family life
In order for life to be happy after marriage, you need to adhere to some rules:
- All tasks must be done together, they cannot be transferred to someone else.
- It is necessary to accept each other with all the pros and cons.
- Not everything will always be stable in the family; even the role of head with the birth of a baby can pass to a woman. You need to be prepared for this.
- In a family there is no distribution of job responsibilities, like at work, only love rules everything.
- You need to be able to find time for yourself, everyone has the right to personal space.
- Children should be an expected event, and only bring people together.
Simple rules will help maintain harmony in the family and not destroy the union.
Third stage. Should there be a divorce?
During this difficult time, the problems get worse, the relationship consists only of scandals and quarrels, the husband appears at home less and less. Many couples cannot withstand the onslaught of life's troubles and get divorced. Typically, a breakup occurs between spouses 10 years after the wedding, and old feelings fade away.
It is very important to talk with your spouse; you need to understand that we have gone through a lot together and it is stupid to separate. Another person will not change anything, the problems will remain the same, so why change the woman who once won your heart for someone unknown. All failures in family relationships must be experienced together and turned into advantages. One of the spouses may have to make concessions to the first. The important thing here is to save the marriage and not think about who will remain on the extreme side.
In such difficult circumstances, you need to try to spend time together, remember previous happy moments, then the feelings may return.
