Why doesn't God send me a good guy future husband? What am I doing wrong?
Anna asks: “Why doesn’t God send me a good guy future husband?
What am I doing wrong? I’m disappointed” Thanks for the question. This question is relevant and many girls ask about it: some out loud, others in their hearts. And not just girls. And young men, guys, mature unmarried men cry out to the Lord: “Well, where is she, Lord, the faithful friend of my dreams, the meaning of my life and my works. "
I want to tell you, dear Anna, that the Lord hears your prayers. And He answers it. I wrote “Answers” in the present tense.
The Lord has a plan for your life (And everyone's life!), He has a project that He wants to accomplish with your help, and the Lord is preparing you to fulfill this plan. This plan can be the entire life lived in a certain way. Or maybe just a moment, and the Lord is preparing you all your life so that you make the right decision, make the right choice at this very moment. A life partner can save you or destroy you, can be help and protection or a burden and a REAL DISAPPOINTMENT.
The Lord is very interested in creating “His families.” This is a territory where two people seek the face of the Lord, where there is a desire for the Lord Himself and His power, this is a mini-church. Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them. Maybe it will be your family that must stand by His side in the last time, no matter the cost. Or maybe you will become the parents and breadwinners of such a child.
How does the Lord ANSWER our prayer regarding a life partner? It prepares you and him to meet each other. The Lord has already found it for you. And maybe he is now praying for you. And so, the Lord looks at the two of you, how you learn from Him the lessons that He sends you, what conclusions you draw, how you assimilate the material you have covered, how suitable you are for the meeting at each stage. - this is called “preparation”, “answer to prayer”, “preliminary purification of gold from slags”. Then there will come a time when the Lord will start a program called "meeting."
Isaiah 55:9-11 My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord. But as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts. Just as rain and snow descend from heaven and do not return there, but water the earth and make it capable of giving birth and growth, so that it gives seed to those who sow and bread to those who eat, so is My word, which proceeds from My mouth. , - it does not return to Me empty, but fulfills what I please, and accomplishes what I sent it for.
The Lord is not late for a second, He will not hold gold in the fire, everything He does is at the highest level!
What do you need to do to become “His family”? Trust Him. Make a decision in your heart to be on His side. On your knees, maybe in tears, say that you want your life to be only according to His will and that you trust only Him. Speak sincerely, for yourself, because God sees everything and it is impossible to hide anything from Him.
Rom.8:32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
What can you really do? Don't waste your time on small things. If this is not it, look for what you need. Use all the good methods available to search. The Lord can take advantage of this when putting the meeting program into action. Focus on the person himself, not on what he has.
And further. Be vigilant, as the enemy does not sleep and may give you his options the day before. Pray, seek the will of God. Read the Bible and especially about how the families described in it were created, what attention was paid to.
What if not? If I want answers to my prayers more than God in my life? What if I start but don’t finish? What if I choose not the “same one”, but the “slipped one”? There may be various bad options here. Correctable and incorrigible. You can simply fall out of God's special plan. You can lose eternal life. You may or may not have time to fix something.
Matthew 13:23 But what is sown on good ground means one who hears the word and understands it, and who bears fruit, so that some bear fruit a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty.
Ezekiel 22:30 (1 hour) I sought among them a man who would build a wall and stand before Me in the gap.
Isaiah 6:8 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, Whom shall I send? and who will go for Us? And I said: here I am, send me.
Why does the Lord hesitate to grant us family happiness?
Why does the Lord hesitate to grant us family happiness?
Good afternoon, our dear visitors!
“It is not good for a man to be alone” (2, Gen. 18-24), “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor: for if one falls, the other will lift up his companion. But woe to one when he falls, and there is no other to lift him up. Also, if two people are lying down, then they are warm; How can one keep warm alone? (Eccl. 4:9-11).
So how can a person live in our time? Is it worth looking for your other half at all costs or is it better to live alone? And what should we do if we have a strong desire to start a family, but the Lord, for some reason unknown to us, does not give us the long-awaited family happiness?
There may be several answers to these questions. And one of them was like this: “Why, for what purpose, do we actually want to start a family?” If we long to find our other half in order to become happy ourselves, then, in this case, the Lord will not soon grant us the opportunity to create a family.
Why? Because the person who, first of all, seeks happiness in marriage for himself is not yet ready to start a family, since he will not be able to bear all the hardships of family life, and, therefore, he will be extremely disappointed in family life, as a consequence what can happen to betrayal and divorce.
When a person, man or woman, decides to start a family in order to become happy themselves, they are initially determined to take, not give. And family life means giving yourself completely to your other half; this is a constant desire to do everything in your power every day in order to make your other half happy!
When a person asks the Lord to grant him long-awaited family happiness, he must be determined that he will daily give his half his love and tenderness; that he will constantly take care of his husband or wife; to yield to them in everything; renounce one's self; fight your selfishness; work on your passions; try to improve - in a word - live the life of your half.
When a person realizes that marriage is everyday work, for the sake of the happiness of the person who has become our other half, then, perhaps, the Lord will touch him with His grace, and his eyes will open.
And he will see that, it turns out, next to him there is that man or that woman who was destined for him by God, but whom he does not notice, because they are not as beautiful as they would like; not so rich, not so influential; have certain vices and inclinations.
Perhaps our other half is next to us, but we do not want to notice it, because we do not want, we are not ready to serve it, for our common salvation with it. We want what is not saving and short-lived, and therefore the Lord does not give us that long-awaited family happiness for which we so ask Him, because we are not yet ready to accept it.
After all, what is family life? This is work, and not at all endless fun and joy. And if our goal is to become happy ourselves, then what guarantee do we have that the person with whom we want to start a family will always love us?
After all, in order to be loved, we ourselves must give our love, and love, as we know: “Love is long-suffering, merciful, love does not envy, love does not exalt itself, is not proud, does not act outrageously, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in untruth, but rejoices in the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” (Apostle Paul, 13).
If a person has a strong desire to start a family, then he should ask the Lord to grant him exactly that person who will please God, and with whom the Lord will bless a marriage, as the only and saving one for both of them.
And when we seek, first of all, the will of God, then the Lord Himself will arrange our lives and give us exactly that person with whom we can only be saved.
Archpriest Andrey Tkachev:
In surveys about love - what could be more difficult and interesting? Even those who have met a loved one in life have questions. Those who haven't met have even more questions. Here are just a few of them. Who asks them? A girl who was never bored alone, but who finally grew up and thought about whether she would continue to live alone, and if not, then how and where to look for that loved one with whom she would begin a new life in her own happy family? Of course, you have your own uncertainties and concerns, and perhaps some of your questions coincide with mine. In any case, it becomes easier if there is someone to ask them.
Marry…
Getting married is not a disaster, no matter how married you are, Russian proverb
Vasily Malyshev. Kitchen |
“I’m almost 30 years old, and I’m still not married!
But I need to give birth while I can! I want children and I want a husband to live as a family! I want my own family! Why doesn’t God give me a husband?! After all, I do everything: I go to church every Sunday, I pray, I keep fasts, I often confess, but He doesn’t hear me,” many girls say with despair. “And it’s not that there aren’t any young men. They exist, but many of them are not suitable for family life. They don’t need anything, no family, no children, just to have fun and that’s all. It's just a dead end! And there are very few Orthodox guys in general, and even those are kind of childish: they don’t get married and don’t go to the monastery,” the girls are indignant. “Maybe I’m living wrong? Probably very modest. We need to be more actively involved in the search for a husband. Take this matter into your own hands, be more persistent,” some decide.
And indeed, some people succeed. There is a person who seems to be decent and says that he loves her. They get married. And what follows from this?...
Story one
Lyudmila, 28 years old, set herself a goal: to get married this year. How long can you live alone? Life with her first husband may not have been successful, but 5 years have already passed, the emotional wounds have healed, the child is growing up, he needs a father. Waiting for someone to pay attention to her and want to marry her no longer seems possible. We need to act. She advertised in the newspaper. More than 30 men responded.
After all the meetings with the applicants and the choice, there was only one left, although he was short and thin, and she was a large woman, but nothing, but the man in the house would finally redo all the men’s work.
Whether he remade all the work, history is silent. But after a month she walked around with a bruise. And after a year of nightmare life with him, she decided to secretly sell her one-room “guest house” from him and flee to another city. Which is what I did. Otherwise, I could have parted not only with the “hotel”, but also with my life.
Story two
Anna (29 years old) was soon to get an apartment. It was her turn. By law, he and his daughter were supposed to be allocated a two-room apartment. Anna was not satisfied with the number of rooms and she decided to urgently get married, give birth to another child, and then they would have to give her a three-room apartment.
Planned and done. Soon she met a young man, although he was 7 years younger than her, but he seemed to love her, was devoted to her and fulfilled all her wishes. They merried.
And then in her calm, well-functioning life, various adventures began to happen one after another, all of them unpleasant for some reason. It started with the fact that he was attacked, beaten and robbed, both wedding rings disappeared, and he ended up in the police. Anna, despite the fact that she was already pregnant, got another job. She earned money and paid the fine for him and bought new wedding rings. She should think about it here. But she decided: it was an unfortunate accident, and got him a job as a driver. Soon he had an accident, crashed his car and hit someone. Why was he imprisoned? While he was in prison, she gave birth to a daughter and received the coveted 3-room apartment. All this time she supported him both morally and financially. She paid for car repairs and brought him parcels. She herself constantly worked in whatever way she could, despite the fact that she had an infant.
She hoped that after he left, they would live richly and happily. But that did not happen. In the zone, he undermined his health, including his mental health, and became completely inadequate, especially when he drank. He often created scandals and hysterics, beat her, ran after her with a knife for some reason while naked.
Finally, she realized that nothing better could be expected, and her eldest daughter gave her an ultimatum. Anna kicked him out and settled him separately in a “hotel”. But he did not lag behind them, came periodically and caused scandals. I didn't pay for the room. She paid and supported him.
Ultimately, she had to sell her apartment, which she had acquired at such a high price, and move far to the north, using the money to buy an old one-room apartment. Here are just two examples of self-will among many cases when people get married “at any cost.” Well, I left. What next?
Recently, online dating has become fashionable. And that's probably a good thing. But it also happens.
Story three
Marina and Andrey met on the Internet. They corresponded for a whole year, liked each other: they both match each other in intelligence, are interested in the same television programs, books, look at many things in life the same, etc., they have a common love - the computer. When they met, they became even more alike in character. We got married.
And suddenly, everything disappeared somewhere: the desire to communicate, and to be together, and common interests. For some reason the children didn’t start either. Andrei sat more and more silently at the computer; he did not want to talk to his wife again. And the computer was no longer enough for her; she wanted more live communication, attention, understanding, finally. They were moving further and further away from each other. Finally she decided to leave for her city, which she left for him. Her parents, friends, and her more emotionally fulfilling life remained there.
Maybe they should have put 2 computers in different rooms and communicate via the Internet? Then, perhaps, they would still live together, that is, the four of them: he, she and 2 computers? But would it be a family?
Showing tenderness and love over the Internet, it turns out, is not the same as directly in communication. And the responsibility for showing your feelings is different. It’s one thing to write the word “love”, another thing to feel love, another thing to love. It is one thing to write tender words, another thing to feel tenderness for a person, and another thing to be gentle.
So the Internet does not save you from loneliness.
Let's look at the problem from the other side.
Young men, in turn, are also looking for their soul mate, and they also have their own complaints. “Now there are no decent girls, they all think only about themselves, they all only need rich husbands, they all strive to command and do not want to obey their husbands. But Orthodox young men have special claims.”
Story four
Vladimir spent a long time looking closely at the girls who visit the temple. Finally he met Dasha. Well, everyone likes a girl: she’s beautiful, she’s tall, and, most importantly, she’s a believer. But the trouble is, there is one “drawback” - a candidate of sciences. And when I just managed to do it at the age of 26! After a short acquaintance, Vladimir shocked his chosen one with the statement: “When we get married: there will be a lot of children, you won’t work. In the meantime,” he added, “I brought my things here, so wash them.” The veil of love immediately fell from her eyes from such a house-building. And not because she doesn’t want to give birth and she’s not a careerist at all. And he wants children, and would give birth to him, as many as God sent, but he was outraged by such a consumerist attitude towards his future wife. Moreover, with his current income, let alone a large family, he can hardly provide for himself. They broke up.
This is how it turns out that with our pretensions and high aspirations it is really difficult to find a husband or wife. We all know what we want from others, and do not think about what we ourselves can and should give.
So, what do you need to do to get married?
Maybe you shouldn’t rush and chase the ghost of a husband or wife with virtues imaginary in your spare time, even when you are already approaching 30 or over 30?
There is no need to force things. Maybe while you are running around looking for your husband and breaking into the wrong doors and walking along the wrong paths, at this time the person destined for you by God has long been waiting for you somewhere nearby and you have already passed by many times? Look around.
Or maybe it is that he is not yet ready for marriage, has not matured after another mistake and loss, and he just needs to come to his senses, realize the reason for his mistakes, so as not to repeat them again. Wait a little.
Or maybe he is your betrothed, has not yet arrived in your city and does not even know that he should go there and meet you, and specifically you and no one else? God can see everything: with whom, when and where we should meet in order for it to be good and beneficial for us.
It also happens that you yourself are not ready for family life. Often girls dream of dissolving in a loved one, in an unborn child, forgetting about themselves, about their soul, which belongs to no one but God. Becomes a slave to her loved ones. But such dissolution benefits no one: neither the husband nor the child. After all, it is said: “Do not make yourself an idol,” even from your own family.
It would be good to understand: what am I doing wrong, which is why God does not give me a husband (wife). What character trait, what passion is stopping me?
Of course, it’s very difficult to figure this out on your own. Look for someone who will help you. First of all, these are your parents, whom you never listened to - listen. After all, it is their blessing that decides a lot. Maybe it's your older brother or your friend. Perhaps you should turn to an Orthodox psychologist - you will understand yourself faster. And, of course, to a priest who knows you. Often everything is revealed after confession.
Believe me, if you are ready for family life, then if there were much fewer men (women) around you than there are now, and all of them would be completely unsuitable for you, then you will still be given the one you deserve, and believe me, he will be much better than all those whom you desired and chose for yourself. The Lord never makes mistakes.
And it happens like that. A girl sits in a tiny office, working with papers. And she has nowhere to go, except to the dining room during lunch break. There are also only women working around. Men walk far from her office. I’m already 26 years old, it’s time to get married. But she makes no effort to find a husband. He doesn't even go to discos.
But one fine day, a young man whom she hardly knows, but people only say good things about him, wooed her.
How did he spot her in her closet? God knows! He invited her to marry him. And she agreed.
And so they got married. Although we weren’t friends at all before, we only met for two months from submitting an application to the registry office until registration. That's all.
And they live happily.
(All examples given in the article are from real life. The characters are real, but the names have been changed.)
Nadezhda Fedorovna Parenko, psychologist, Tyumen
In fact
Of course, sins have nothing to do with it. All these are the thoughts of the woman herself. At the same time, other female representatives, who do not have the best data or anything else, do not experience any difficulties in finding a partner. They easily make acquaintances everywhere, and the question of the main reasons why God does not give a husband does not arise before them. Why does this happen?
Unpreparedness
There is such a feature in the female psyche as the need to refuse and look for shortcomings in men. And sometimes a woman can understand with her head that she wants to communicate with the opposite sex, but on an unconscious level she will strive to do everything possible to avoid this. Wondering about the reasons why God does not give a husband, she will arrange situations in such a way that if she comes across men, they will be “the wrong ones.”
Why is this happening? Often her heart is still immersed in a past situation, when something did not happen the way she wanted. And the resentment remained. Now in every man she will look for potential traits that will lead to the same outcome. After being treated badly, she may, wondering why God doesn't send a good guy, subconsciously look for similar men. And reject those who do not meet the strict criteria. Despite the fact that the rejected ones could have made a good match for her.
Often people are very afraid of loneliness. Their world revolves around the need to belong to someone, to give care, to experience feelings of love, to receive attention. A large percentage of people jump from relationship to relationship just to avoid being alone for a long time. Many people endure things that absolutely cannot be tolerated, only out of fear of being left without a mate. Trying to escape from loneliness, people try to fall in love with anyone, the first one they come across.
In this case, we are not talking about any harmony - it is impossible to “shut up” loneliness with another person, it is impossible to fill the internal emptiness and anxiety at the expense of someone else. There is no happiness in depending on another and in holding on to him as if he were a saving straw. This approach dooms you to an eternally nervous life in which there is no place for love.
The priest's answers
Regarding the priest’s answers to the question - why God doesn’t give me a husband, then maybe it’s worth praying earnestly and asking him to grant him a spouse, the qualities necessary for family life. And at the same time, the priests themselves say - God cannot give something to a person, he only provides the right to choose, and we do everything else ourselves.
But at the same time they make a clarification - due to the modern rhythm of life, the lack of desire to repent for sins and pray, we ourselves do not see a possible choice. Pride, as well as inflated demands, simply do not provide such a chance, a choice, often presented on a silver platter by God.
But if a girl gets older every year, but there is still no husband? Maybe marriage is not her destiny? Here the priests say that people can get married at any age, because the years in the passport are not death or a sentence. And age itself should not be an obstacle for the woman herself, a kind of limitation in the search for family happiness.
Who does this happen to?
For the most part, the answer to the question should be sought within oneself, but not in divine or devilish intervention. It is enough to simply analyze your own worldview and principles of life. And, as a rule, among the main ones, we can highlight the following points that are worth paying special attention to.
- Often a woman simply does not need a man. If a person is self-sufficient, lives and works for her own pleasure, spends time with girlfriends and friends, this suits her - she is simply not interested in marriage with a specific man. And if she gets married, her life, habitual and desired way of life will simply collapse. And here you will have to adapt to new realities.
- The ideal man. That’s exactly it and nothing more, but do ideal princes exist in reality and are there enough of them for everyone? And often such idealization of the image of a husband lies in parental education and a simple statement - he is not a match for you. But gradually the beauty fades, and the demands and requests for a potential husband grow.
- Wealth is everything. This is already the reality of modern society, in which young girls marry older men. Such unions are mutually beneficial in the position of beauty - wealth, but when there are many young and well-groomed people, but few rich ones, there are not enough of them for everyone.
- Past failures. If a woman was previously married, but the experience of living together was unsuccessful, she will always be wary of subsequent relationships and unions. But if faith in a person is given from above, it is worth getting married and praying to God to grant light and happiness in the family.
Plus, few of the ladies want to repeatedly give their love and care to their new chosen one. And a man will feel uncomfortable with them, and accordingly there is no need to talk about any kind of marriage. Here you just need to learn to love your neighbor, as it is written in the commandments, or simply always be in splendid isolation.
Is it really bad to be alone?
It is also necessary to take into account that sometimes a woman may want to be alone. She enjoys life, her work, and communication. But usually the absence of a man in her life begins to strain members of society, who suggest that something is wrong with her. If a person hears the same thing many times, he begins to believe it.
It's important to remember that people in relationships are often unhappy. In marriage, women often feel bad and worse than one. This is easy to verify if you look closely at those around you. Even just scroll through messages on online forums where people anonymously share their problems, asking for advice. Hiding the troubles of their relationship in society, trying to seem like a happy couple and family, here they reveal what they do not admit to anyone. Indifference, continuing a relationship only for the sake of children with a spouse whom you have not loved for a long time - all this occurs much more often than it seems at first glance. And it turns out that there are practically no women happy in relationships. It is very rare to have a happy relationship. But in society it is common to play and pretend that everything is fine. This is why the illusion arises that everyone around is happy in couples.
Practice shows that happy people are in a couple who do not need each other. And together they want it for now. But they can be separately. Only by experiencing pleasure alone can you experience it in long-term relationships with people. Where the need for a person arises, there is no longer love, there is only selfishness.
When God does not give a husband, you need to remember that a person sees around him what is in his head. If a woman believes that “all normal men are busy,” she will not even try to make an acquaintance - she will in advance classify a free man as “defective.” If you look for flaws in a person, you will definitely find them. And this will again confirm the existing point of view.
If a woman is sure that she cannot be happy without a man by her side, then she will always mentally ask why the Lord hesitates to give her a husband, think about how bad she feels alone. And from this she will become more and more unhappy, look more and more depressed. This can push her to impose herself, which will provoke men to run away. And this will make her feel worse. It turns out to be a vicious circle.
Why God doesn't give me a husband
Church view on celibacy
Beautiful, successful girls who have failed to create family happiness often begin to complain about God in their failures or think that someone has imposed a crown of celibacy on them. They believe that the celibacy ritual performed by the sorceress dooms any girl to loneliness. But even experienced magicians say that such “miracles” are quite rare. But our subconscious has great power, and the negative programs embedded there often work without failure. We ourselves sometimes give instructions; with our thoughts and actions we attract people and situations that cannot make us happy. But it’s not for nothing that they say that every person is the architect of his own happiness.
The clergy generally exclude the possibility of the existence of a crown of celibacy. After all, no one had previously prayed to the Lord to remove such a “crown,” because they did not know about it. Modern Christians also consider this to be prejudice and superstition. Many married people suffer from family life, some cannot have children, some have a child who often gets sick, but this does not mean that they are all cursed. Of course, you need to turn to God for help, pray, talk to him, and then many family problems will gradually be resolved.
Karmic reasons
There are situations when a smart, beautiful and successful girl is fatally unlucky with marriage. Naturally, she begins to look for the cause of her suffering in anything, but not in herself, because she is ideal. Such a search may lead her to the question of karma, where we experience the results of our past actions. That is, in the previous incarnation we created all the conditions for today’s situation: we acted badly with our partner or rudely rejected a person in love, promised ourselves never to start a family, etc. In a word, with such actions we blocked any opportunity to create a happy family in this life .
If this is really the case, then now is a chance to correct past mistakes, change your behavior, tendencies and outlook on the world. If everything remains the same, the result will be a lack of personal happiness and bitter loneliness. Failures and difficulties should make us think about what we are doing wrong - analyze our behavior. Only a person who works on himself can develop and change his life for the better.
Some fortune tellers and psychics believe that in order to answer the question of why a woman has been single for a long time, you need to look at the karma of her entire family. They are sure that all a person’s successes and failures are influenced by ancestral karma. If not everything goes smoothly with her, then the descendants pay for the sins of their ancestors, living in suffering and loneliness. But there are experts who disagree with this statement. If we take the family as a whole, we can see that in one family there can be successful and unsuccessful children, priests and murderers, happily married and lonely people. Most likely, the cause of loneliness should be sought in the following factors:
- subconscious need;
- psychological conflicts;
- negative attitudes.
Psychological reasons
Women often do not have a partner, not because God did not give one, but because of their own negative attitudes towards potential loneliness. Let's look at them in more detail.
I don't need a husband. This is one of the forms of self-sufficiency when a woman feels good even without a partner. This can be either a conscious or subconscious attitude, when a girl is an introvert and finds it difficult to let another person into her world.
Search for the ideal man. In this situation, there is definitely no need to blame external forces. Because a woman sees only flaws in any man she meets. Often such an attitude is unconsciously laid down by deeply loving and caring parents, who examine each daughter’s admirer under a magnifying glass and make a verdict: “he is not worthy of you.” Even when there are fewer suitors, such a girl does not lose confidence that one day a prince will knock on her door and ask her to marry him. So she waits for the prince until old age, every day making more and more demands on the opposite sex.
We need a sponsoring partner. Some brides only look at men with money, but they themselves are not smart or educated, and, naturally, are in different social statuses. That's why such a beauty only dates rich suitors. But such meetings, as a rule, do not develop into anything serious, since a man with money has the right to make many demands on his chosen one. There are not many options for getting out of this situation: either look for a husband in your circle, or improve your level of education yourself to match your rich partner.
Bad experience. A common phenomenon is loneliness together. Therefore, if you get married, it is not at all a fact that your marriage will be happy. After a divorce, many women become disillusioned with family life and convince themselves that it will be better and calmer to be alone.
Not ready to give a man love. Not every woman can create an atmosphere of love. Men, feeling the coldness of such wives, try to avoid communicating with them. Is God to blame for the loneliness of such a girl? Many representatives of the fair sex should learn to give love and warmth themselves, then men will feel it and be drawn to such a woman.
Energy reasons
Every single woman should understand that prolonged loneliness leads to illness and depression. Why does the absence of a partner make women suffer? Let's look at the reasons:
- Weak energy, no strength for family life, the prevailing desire is to crawl into a shell so that no one is offended, and God must bring the husband directly into the house.
- The woman is jealous, demanding, touchy and vulnerable. Thus, she pushes men away from her. This style of behavior completely destroys all connections.
- A selfish and narcissistic girl who shows the world that she doesn't need a partner. Such women have a lot of empty, non-committal romances; they change partners often and without regret. He believes that the next man will be better than the previous one, but this is a pure delusion. The result is stress, depression and psychological disorders.
Magical reasons
If a girl is not invited to marry for a long time, she begins to think about damage and the evil eye. This is the easiest option to shift responsibility from yourself to circumstances. But perhaps there are negative programs for loneliness that affect the human energy field. If a girl is physically and psychologically healthy, then she has strong energy, so it is very difficult to harm her with the evil eye or damage.
But, if you think this has happened to you, contact a reputable psychic who can diagnose and refute or confirm your suspicions. If a “hole” is discovered at the level of the sexuality chakra, it means that a ritual for loneliness has actually been performed, which can be removed with the help of a specialist. Here's what experts think about this, watch the video:
Additional reasons
A girl who wonders why God does not give a husband and children should know that sometimes a woman does not notice men. There are many things in life that a person focuses on. And you should use this to your advantage. It's worth counting the men. When going out into the street, count how many there were? What about in the store? There are a lot of men around. And the question of why God does not give a husband (or wife) is equally often asked by both men and women. This is worth remembering. If you pay attention for several days to how many men there are around, the thought will enter your current perception: “there are a lot of men, they are everywhere.”
Psychological reasons
A girl often does not have a husband, not because God does not give him one, but because of her own psychological attitudes towards loneliness. Let's look at these internal settings:
- There is no need for a husband. This is a certain form of self-sufficiency when a person feels great even without the so-called other half. This is either a conscious or subconscious attitude, when a woman is essentially an introvert, and it is difficult for her to share her comfortable inner world with another person.
- Finding the ideal husband. In this situation, there is no point in being offended by God, because the girl sees only shortcomings in every man who comes her way. Often this is the attitude of overly loving parents, who claimed that “he is not a match for you” or “he is not worthy of you.” So the woman waits for her prince until retirement, every year making more and more demands on the opposite sex.
- I need a husband-sponsor. A certain category of girls considers only rich men as their future husbands, but, as a rule, they themselves do not reach the level of successful people either in terms of level or education. So such a beauty only dates the rich once, and her status as a wife does not suit them. There are two ways out: either find a husband from your circle, or become successful yourself so that your partner is on the same level.
- Bad experience. Loneliness in marriage is also present, so it is not necessary that if God gives a husband, then the marriage will be successful. Often, after one or two divorces, women simply become disillusioned with relationships, setting themselves up to spend the rest of their lives in quiet solitude.
- I’m not ready to give my husband love. Not every woman is ready to give love to a man, despite God and his commandments, and the stronger half avoids it, subconsciously feeling coldness. And God has nothing to do with it. You need to learn to love, give warmth, only then a miracle will happen: the chosen one will feel it and appear on the horizon.
Christian view
As has already been said, while women are asking why God does not give a husband, more and more men are asking why God does not give a wife. It is important for these people to remember that spouses will not meet all the emotional needs of the questioners. They will not give what the inquirer needs. This often results in disappointment in relationships and in the family. Only a person himself can give himself everything he needs, as well as fill loneliness.
For this reason, in Christian traditions the expression “other half” is considered incorrect. As if a person can be complete only when he connects with his “half”. But the truth is that personality needs to be built before marriage. For a family – “one flesh” – to be strong and happy, you need to bring something whole and good into it. It must be created from full-fledged and strong individuals.
Christians.Online
Why doesn't God give a husband, a family, a man, a significant other, a betrothed? Every woman asks herself the answer to these questions when she suffers from loneliness. He raises his eyes to the sky, and the sky seems gray and unresponsive. And what should she do? Where can she find the answer? All the answers are in God's word. They must be desired to be found, and God will give his revelation. And to find answers, you have to look for them. Read the Bible, pray and listen to the voice that born again Christians hear in their hearts.
If a person lives righteously, then God gives everything on time.
If a person lives according to the flesh, he is guided by his own lusts and sins. God doesn't give it to him.
James 4:2. You desire, but you do not have; you kill and envy - and cannot achieve; you bicker and fight, and you do not have because you do not ask.
James 4:3. You ask and do not receive, because you ask not for good, but to use it for your lusts.
What is the purpose of what you are asking? Are you asking to do God's will? Do you want to share the gospel with your husband and raise your children to become servants of the Lord? Do you want your descendants to become missionaries, priests, pastors, elders? Or do you just want to get married like everyone else?
If it’s like everyone else, then why ask about God?
What if you love God? Don't you know the answer? Don't you know that those who keep God's commandments get what they want in due time? Or maybe you yourself are the reason that you don’t have a family. Maybe you think that all men are not very good people, since they themselves grew up without a father and this was passed on from Mom?
Live righteously - that's the first thing. But live righteously not in order to get what you want - this is hypocrisy. Live righteously from what you understand and understand righteousness. That is, you understand that there is no need to steal not because God will punish, but because your neighbor will suffer. There is no need to use foul language, not because you are ashamed, but because it hurts your neighbor. That you need to honor your parents, not because the Bible says so, but because you love them.
Love. If it is in a person. If he loves. You can see it. He loves everything around him. A girl who loves - she cares about everything around her, she is friendly and exudes light. Are you that kind of person? Everyone wants to get some love for themselves. And if you are its source, then God, who is love, will give you both a husband and a family. So that you produce little Christians who will be full of love for God and other people.
But if you are angry, if you are unhappy with what you have. What do you exude? Discontent, malice, anger, hatred. who needs this? Maybe that's why God doesn't give us a family. You are simply pushing away good people with your inner world. The Bible says it is better to live alone on a roof than with a nagging wife in a big house. Nobody wants a nagging wife. Don't be grumpy, be loving. Be active in serving God. The glory of a good girl runs ahead of her and everyone wants a good wife.
Seek first the kingdom of God. If God comes first for you, then it won’t matter to you whether you have a second half or not. Are you looking for your betrothed, but God is not giving? Why? Maybe because you have forgotten virtue and are complaining. Don't look for a Husband, look for God in your heart. Everyone is drawn to kindness and warmth. Be kind. Jesus Christ came into this world and became good for all people, and he attracted to himself those who want to live a righteous life. Those who live righteously come into the light. Become a light that people who live righteously will follow. But if you sin, then people who do not want to start a family will come to your sinful light; people who want to satisfy their carnal lust will come. Ask yourself a question. What light are you? Are you the light that shines, or are you the darkness? If you are darkness, then turn to God, repent. Don't go to church, go to church. And most importantly, have a relationship with God. Pray to him and he will answer your question.
About life choices
The question of why God does not give a husband is often provoked by the opinion of society. It thunders with postulates that loneliness is shameful and bad. The image of a lonely woman is caricatured: she is threatened with gray everyday life, lonely death from thirst without a glass of water, tears, an abundance of cats. But the fact that this is how most married women live is omitted.
And if a woman can be a true master of her craft, an excellent doctor, but sleep in bed without a permanent man, then in the eyes of society, which itself is unhappy in its families, such a woman will be recognized as untenable. But if a male doctor is lonely, he will be left alone with this question.
Karmic reasons
Fatal bad luck with men makes many girls think about why God does not give them happiness in their personal lives. It is believed that loneliness is influenced by karma, so in this incarnation we work off the karmic debts of the previous incarnation. For example, in a past life, someone rudely rejected attempts at a normal relationship, and someone raised the bar of requirements for a future husband high, thereby stopping all efforts to get married successfully.
In this incarnation, fate gives you a chance to correct the mistakes of the past by changing your behavior, and if a woman continues to behave this way, she will be lonely. Failures in personal life are sent by God so that a person dives deeper into self-knowledge and analyzes his life. And also to try to change himself, directing his evolution on the path to Infinity in the right direction.
Some esotericists believe that only a woman who scans the karma of her family can answer the question of why God does not give a husband for a long time. It is believed that a person’s success is affected by ancestral karma, and if it is unfavorable, then the entire family has to pay for it, overcoming misfortunes and loneliness. But many experts do not agree with this opinion, because from the same family can come successful and unsuccessful, potential murderers, lawbreakers and priests, happy in family life and pathological loners. Most likely, loneliness is:
- internal subconscious need of a person;
- internal psychological conflicts;
- negative attitudes of parents or society.
Why is that?
It's all about stereotypes that came from ancient times, when creating a couple was necessary to physically survive - to build a home, to escape the cold and predators. Years have passed, the situation has changed, but the old stereotypes remain. In them, female and male roles are clearly divided. And what is allowed by some is condemned by others. At the same time, the female psyche is less schizoid than that of men: women are determined to satisfy their needs through someone, and men discover connections with themselves less painfully. In addition, there is constant pressure with questions and suggestion. And as a result, an imposed need appears, and the woman asks why God does not give her a husband.
For a normal person without trauma, thoughts of loneliness do not cause the desire to fall into despair, do not cause fear. There is no thought that because of such a life choice he will not be among the successful people.
Who says loneliness is bad?
We must remember that not a single person who is happy and who is doing well in his life will blame and humiliate others. Those who try to humiliate a single woman, trying to bait her with questions when she has already found someone, suffer themselves, and very much. For those who are concerned about such a question addressed to others, it is better to give a hug and the phone number of a psychotherapist. It is important to consider that, having learned to live with himself, a person gains maturity, he moves forward, much further than himself, who clutches other people like straw.
At the same time, loneliness is not the ultimate dream, and that’s normal. Most people still want to be in a couple. This is normal. But the unhealthy will chaotically ask why God does not give a husband, strive to avoid the slightest chance of being without a partner, feel shame for this, or condemn those who live alone.
Condemnation of society
It is important to build harmony in your relationship with yourself first. As soon as a desire arises in the style of “how great it would be to go to a restaurant with a man now,” you need to take yourself there. Enjoy the evening, arrange romance.
Sometimes it may seem that if you appear somewhere in such a place alone, everyone will start thinking something bad and condemning you. But this is an exaggeration. Let them think what they want. Everything people say about another person is actually about themselves. There is no point in taking this personally.
Single women sometimes have everyday issues that require a man's help. To deliver something, to fix something, to deliver something. Don't avoid asking for help if you need it. From relatives, husbands of friends, store employees. In order not to feel that you are now “obliged” and “begging”, it makes sense to directly ask how to thank them - with homemade cookies, advice on some issue.