Each country has its own traditions in holding wedding ceremonies, and Germany is no exception. The Germans sacredly honor and observe their customs, but every year statistics show us that the number of marriages is decreasing. On average, 400,000 marriages were recorded in the country per year, and fifty years ago statistics showed figures several times higher. As for age, the average for women is 31 years old, for men – 33. We can conclude that both brides and grooms are getting older. It remains to figure out how weddings take place in Germany.
Wedding preparations
Of course, a marriage proposal traditionally has to come from a man, but some modern women have taken this responsibility upon themselves and come up with a little traditional trick. A woman can propose to her man on February 29, and he has no right to refuse. Even if such an opportunity comes only once every four years, you can thoroughly prepare. But if the guy still turns out to be not ready for the wedding, he will have to pay off with a good gift.
Polterabend, or pre-holiday party
One of the most popular traditions is called Polterabend. This is a kind of party that is held at the bride's house. Many people compare the event with a bachelorette or bachelor party, but this is not entirely true. No guests are invited to Polterabend, since everyone who knows about this party and considers it necessary to come comes for no reason. The Germans call this day the rehearsal dinner, and the bride's parents prepare it in a buffet format. One of the features of the holiday is that any guest can contribute and bring some pastries, snacks or alcohol to the table. In general, the name Polterabend comes from the word poltern, which means “to make noise”, “to rumble”. This is where the main highlight of the holiday lies: guests must bring with them vases, dishes, pots and in general anything that can easily be broken in front of the windows of the house. According to legend, the sound of breaking dishes should disperse all evil and unfriendly spirits. But the bride and groom should not forget that it is their responsibility to remove the fragments in order to prove their unity, and the more fragments, the better. After all, dishes are broken for good luck, and such a tradition before a German wedding in Germany really lifts your spirits.
Pre-wedding party
A few days before the wedding, stag and hen parties are held in Germany, as in most countries of the world. Such parties are called here Junggesellenabschied , which translates as “farewell to the bachelor.” At bachelor and hen parties, it is customary to have fun and organize noisy parties, which are held both at home and in bars or clubs.
Bride kidnapping.
In some regions there is a tradition of pre-wedding bride kidnapping (this is very familiar to us). But this custom is observed, as a rule, only in villages and not at all large towns. The groom's friends and relatives kidnap the bride and hide her in some pub. The groom, along with the kidnappers and other friends, goes in search of his beloved, moving from pub to pub. At the same time, in every pub you have to drink - everyone accompanying the groom drinks, and he himself pays. This tradition is not very popular in Germany, since sometimes in search of a bride you have to go around many pubs and have a drink in each, so such a trip may not end very well.
Polterabend.
The day before the celebration, an informal event is held called Polterabend , in which the bride and groom, their parents, relatives, friends, neighbors, etc. participate. Having gathered on the street (usually near the house of the bride or her parents), those present break as much porcelain as possible. dishes. The fragments should bring good luck to the young. The bride and groom remove the fragments.
The bride and groom collect a mountain of broken dishes together, and they are certainly sprinkled with peas or lentils, symbolizing health and fertility.
Food and drinks are usually prepared for the event. Polterabend often involves those people whom the newlyweds could not invite to the wedding, but would be glad to see (for example, neighbors). Interestingly, in addition to dishes, various other breakable objects made of ceramics, clay, etc. can be broken. For example, someone may bring ceramic tiles with them, while others may bring a sink or even a toilet. All this is broken up with joy, and the bride and groom, armed with brooms and shovels, begin to clean up. Under no circumstances should glass or mirrors be broken.
Polterabend sometimes combined directly with a wedding celebration - this is a relatively new wedding tradition in Germany.
Bachelor and bachelorette parties
This tradition exists in every country in the world; in Germany it is called Der Junggesellenabschied. However, although the event is traditional in many countries, the Germans still have their own traditions. For example, in some cities in northern Rhine-Westphalia there is a custom of burning the groom's trousers as a sign of farewell to his bachelor life.
The ancient German tradition, according to which the bride's parents put aside one cent each from her childhood (previously it was a pfennig - the minimum monetary unit), has been preserved to this day. But this money is put aside for a reason; according to tradition, the bride must buy wedding shoes with the collected coins. This will mean that the future wife will not only be an excellent housewife, but also a faithful life partner. And on the wedding day you should put one cent in the bride's shoe. If you believe traditions, this will ensure a comfortable existence for the family. Performing this custom allows you to honor the history of weddings in Germany.
What should friends do before marriage?
In addition to helping in preparation for the celebration, relatives and friends create a wedding newspaper with their own hands. In it they should describe the newlyweds’ first meeting, their love story, and favorite activities. The newspaper itself consists of funny collages and funny photographs of the bride and groom and their family and friends. You can also interview the newlyweds and write funny stories about love and family. The newspaper is presented to guests at an evening dinner as a kind souvenir that allows those present to learn more about the bride and groom. Wedding traditions in Germany are very interesting.
The beginning of the wedding
Like any wedding, a German one also begins with a civil ceremony in the registry office. A religious wedding ceremony in a church is also equivalent to it. Not all guests are invited to it, but only the closest relatives and friends, and the ceremony must take place before noon. This is because traditionally this time is considered the most favorable for holding such a solemn event. According to customs, it is the first rays of the sun that contribute to happiness in marriage. Previously, if for some reason it was not possible to hold a wedding at the right time, the clock in the church was set back.
In Germany, it is traditional for the groom to pick up the bride from home, preferably in a horse-drawn carriage. And the bride should under no circumstances look back on her way to church; such a sign means that a second marriage will be inevitable. The Germans call this custom Die Hochzeit. Yazidi weddings are often found in Germany.
Rituals and traditions on the wedding day
A wedding in Germany begins with a traditional registration. To which relatives, friends and acquaintances are invited. After completing the marriage registration procedure, the couple goes to the local church to get married.
Usually the ritual begins early in the morning and ends before 12 noon. In Germany, this time is considered the most favorable for the emergence of a new unit of society. For the sake of maintaining traditions, Germans can even resort to cunning. If the couple did not have time to go through all the stages of the celebration before the agreed time, the hands were deliberately moved back, even in churches.
The young groom arrives for the bride in a carriage consisting of horses. At the same time, on the way to church, the young bride should not turn back. If she does this, the marriage will not last long. During the journey, the couple is accompanied by a motorcade with relatives and friends. The task of which is to shower the path of the couple with rose petals. According to German beliefs, the aroma of a rose, like the queen of flowers, will help a couple maintain health and have strong and friendly offspring.
Next, according to customs, the girl must put a special wreath on her head, which is strewn with precious stones. Moreover, it is not advisable for her to take it off until the first night with her husband. If the bride is getting married for the first time, her wedding bouquet, as usual, consists of myrtle wood. During the ceremony of service in the church, the couple should stand, clinging as closely as possible to each other. This position symbolizes their unity and the fact that now they cannot do without each other. In their hands are candles, which are tied with a red ribbon.
Ritual of planting a rose bush
Roses have a special meaning in the culture of ancient and modern Germany. It is not surprising that even in today’s culture, the custom of planting a rose bush on the day of marriage by the newlyweds themselves is widespread. Generally speaking, planting trees is considered a natural duty of every self-respecting young man from Germany.
There is a custom in the vicinity of the city of Leising, according to which each groom must have time to plant 6 trees before the wedding day. If he doesn’t have time to do this, the girl should think about the man’s level of responsibility. If he is not able to cope with such a simple task, then what can we say about responsibility for his young wife and children. It is because of this tradition that the city is recognized as flourishing.
The procedure for sawing a log and its meaning
After the wedding process in the church, another interesting local ritual awaits the couple. The log is placed on special sawhorses and the young people must cut it together. The peculiarity of the ritual is that it must be done with the help of an old and rusty saw, and the log can be quite large in size. The main essence of the ritual is for the couple to understand the need for unity when problems arise. Moreover, both at the personal and everyday levels. The division of responsibilities into feminine and masculine principles is very arbitrary.
Only after sawing the wedding log does the traditional fun begin. The motorcade's cars line up exactly in one line and head to the pre-designated location for the banquet. Each vehicle has a white identification ribbon attached to the antenna. There is noise and commotion all around, the cars do not stop talking for a split second.
Bride kidnapping tradition
The witness, during the festive fun, kidnaps the young woman and hides her in a secluded place nearby. A period of testing begins for the young man, during which he must not only cope with all the difficulties, but also free his beloved as quickly as possible. Speed is also important because the groom will have to pay for everything that the girl has time to eat and drink during the games. The tradition has not outlived its usefulness today, retaining its influence since ancient times.
German version of the game of forfeits
This funny and beloved game is familiar to almost everyone since childhood. And almost no celebration in Germany is complete without it. Moreover, at a German wedding it has its own characteristics. The notes that are distributed to the guests contain proposals with gifts that they will give to the newlyweds. Often, tasks are given as forfeits to supply a couple with food or household utensils for a certain period.
Thanks to such a fun competition, the couple will be able to live a certain amount of time without needing the food and household items indicated on the pieces of paper.
It is worth noting that the older generation of both families takes care of forfeits and tasks in advance, helping the young ones to wisely benefit from the situation.
Sprinkling guests with grain and salt
Wedding traditions in Germany require the bride to generously shower her guests with the aforementioned products. For such a ritual, secret pockets are sewn into the dress, where she puts the necessary ingredients for the performance. With this simple action, the family will attract wealth and a comfortable life. In German traditions, the ritual came from the belief that a generous person always gives less than he receives from the Universe.
Jokes on your wedding night
Unlike a number of other weddings, in German tradition it is customary to present the newlyweds with pleasant surprises for their first night together. Before the wedding ceremony, relatives and friends have the right to visit the couple’s sleeping area. During the visit, they quietly leave surprises for the newlyweds with, at times, unambiguous content.
A bunch of balloons are scattered around the room, through which the couple will have to go in order to get to the coveted bed. And also, just for fun, they could set alarm clocks for the early hours, hiding them in the most secluded places of the room.
Wedding ceremony
The ceremony begins with the bride and groom entering the church and, clinging to each other, slowly walking towards the altar. Previously, the passage along which the young people will go should be strewn with rose petals. It is traditionally believed that in this way you can attract the goddess of fertility, who will give the future husband and wife children.
The bride is given a wreath of precious stones and beads, which she must wear until midnight. The Germans also do not forget about the tradition of Queen Victoria, invented in the 19th century. She planted a small sprig of myrtle that she had taken from her older sister's wedding bouquet. The plant took root and grew well, so the queen inserted a sprig into the bouquet of her youngest daughter, her granddaughters, and even her great-granddaughters. Therefore, if a bride gets married for the first time, she takes a bouquet of myrtle with her down the aisle.
During the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds hold candles decorated with beautiful flowers and ribbons. And if it is customary for us to decorate cars with balls and various accessories, then in Germany each driver is given a white ribbon, which is attached to the car’s antenna. But the tradition of honking after marriage on the way to the banquet has taken root among the Germans. Traditions and weddings in Germany are closely intertwined, and young people try to follow the most important rules.
How weddings are held in Germany
If we consider a wedding from the point of view of formalities, in Germany the ceremony may include a church and an official part. The procedure at the registry office here is carried out concisely, without unnecessary paraphernalia and numerous guests. A wedding in a church, on the contrary, is solemn and magnificent.
Wedding preparations. Organizational issues and traditions
Preparing for a wedding in Germany is a troublesome task. The organization of the ceremony in stages is as follows.
- Choosing a place for the celebration. Lovers of romance can have a wedding in medieval castles with beautiful ponds and parks.
- Sign up for registration at the registry office.
- Buying outfits and rings.
- Selection of the theme of the ceremony.
- Restaurant order.
- Transport rental.
- Decoration of the hall.
At the preparation stage, the couple's friends and relatives work together to create a wedding newspaper. It tells the story of the origin of the relationship, names the place where they met, and characterizes the development of events. The notes are intertwined with funny life stories, photographs and collages. Before the wedding day, the bride organizes a party at her parents' house. They serve a rich buffet. It is considered appropriate if guests bring their own treats. The dinner is called Der Polterabend and is considered a dress rehearsal for the wedding. The culmination is the breaking of dishes that those present bring with them. These can be figurines, sets, vases, flower pots. The shards are collected by future spouses. The better they do this, the happier their life will be. Another ritual is buying wedding shoes for coins. Since childhood, the bride has to collect change to buy shoes. Thus, her parents teach her to be frugal from an early age.
Wedding day
To find out how a wedding is held in Germany, it’s worth talking about the registry office. Only relatives gather here. Then the wedding takes place in the church before noon. According to the Germans, the morning rays of the sun increase the happiness of newlyweds. On the wedding day, called Die Hochzeit, the groom takes the bride from her parents' house in a horse-drawn carriage. At the same time, the bride should not turn around. This is a bad omen, promising her a second marriage.
The wedding begins with a walk to the altar along a path strewn with pink petals. A wreath with precious stones and beads is placed on the wife's head. The couple should have candles decorated with flowers and ribbons in their hands. The bride's bouquet, if it is her first marriage, is made of myrtle. A modern composition can contain any flowers, but a sprig of myrtle must be present. Young people plant a rose, and this rule is considered mandatory. Otherwise, the marriage may not be registered. Another interesting tradition on a wedding day is sawing a log with a rusty saw. The newlyweds are required to cut the tree to the end as a symbol that the spouses will do all the work together. Then comes the height of the fun, the couple travels around the city at the head of a motorcade. From there everyone goes to the banquet.
How weddings are held in Germany. Wedding traditions
An unusual custom at German weddings is to sprinkle grain and salt on guests during dinner. This symbolizes the prosperity and wealth of the newlyweds. Secret pockets are made in the bride's dress and salt and grain are poured into them. It is considered a funny ritual that guests leave piquant surprises in advance in the bedroom where the newlyweds will spend their first wedding night. The room is filled very tightly with balloons to make it difficult for spouses to reach the bed. Guests can hide many clocks in the room, set for early morning hours.
Traditional outfits
The wedding dress of a bride in Germany is not too different from the outfits of European brides. The tradition spread to Germany towards the end of the 20th century, and before that girls wore only national costumes. But the bouquet plays an important role. In your hand there should be a white bouquet with a sprig of myrtle, symbolizing the longevity of the marriage and God's blessing. At the end of the ceremony, the flower arrangement is kept in the house. The groom's outfit is a classic suit of dark or light color.
Wedding menu
We learned how a wedding is held in Germany. Now let's talk about the wedding menu. The list must contain at least 20 dishes. Guests can take their treats with them. The choice of dishes depends on the state of Germany where the wedding is taking place:
- in the Lower Rhine, they definitely prepare soup with beef, sauerkraut, beans, potatoes with meat, veal in plum sauce;
- In Bavaria, the table always includes roast meat, noodle soup, fried sausages, and baked carp. The famous “bride's soup” is also served here - meat broth with bread slices. In it, guests come across pieces of broom, grain, and wood chips. According to the superstition, a bride who eats such soup will become a good housewife.
A wedding cake must have five tiers. All of them become symbols of life stages: birth, communion, marriage, the appearance of a child in the family, death. The final stage of the feast is the exit of the young couple from the hall along a path strewn with pine needles. At this time, the newlyweds are sprinkled with rice.
After the wedding
After the first day, before the couple leaves for a trip, another dinner is organized. On this day, the holiday is held in the house of the bride's parents or in the house of a young family. At this event there are always competitions, fun and communication. According to tradition, it is very good if many children are present at the holiday.
What happens after marriage registration?
After registering a marriage, according to an old German tradition, the newly-made husband and wife are supposed to cut a real log with a real saw. This kind of work is not the easiest, and not everyone can handle it, but the newlyweds must show the guests what they are capable of. And this is not only physical strength, it is also the ability to achieve your goals. This tradition is quite old, but the Germans loved it so much that they continue to follow the custom to this day. Only now sawing a log also means equality, because this goal can be achieved only if you correctly arrange your forces, be able to not only hear, but also listen to each other, and do everything together.
Regarding the famous bride kidnapping, we can say that such a tradition exists in some regions of Germany even to this day. But it has strange rules: the groom’s friend “steals” the bride in one of the local bars, where the groom must find his beloved. The groom can walk around the establishments for a long time and have a lot of fun, because in every bar where the bride is not there, the newly-made husband must drink an alcoholic drink, also treating his friends. And when the bride and her kidnapper are found, the groom must pay their bill as well.
But instead of the usual throwing of a bouquet to unmarried girlfriends in Germany, there is a tradition called the “Veil Dance.” During one of the final dances, unmarried wedding guests must tear off a piece of the veil. This will mark an early marriage.
The veil dance in some regions is a completely different tradition, which involves those wishing to dance with the bride or groom having to put money in the veil.
Progress of the wedding
Right in the wedding hall, the bride and groom are sawing a log, where the newlyweds are bonded into a marriage union. It is customary to plant a rose bush or tree before a wedding.
The bride's bouquet is made of white flowers, and her dress does not differ fundamentally from the European standard.
In the midst of the wedding, a witness kidnaps the bride and hides her in a pub. The groom, meanwhile, is engaged in an intensive search for the bride, and the speed of this search determines that the loving groom will have to pay for everything that his bride drank in this bar and pay the kidnapper. Hidden in the secret pockets of the bride's wedding dress are grains and salt, which she generously and wastefully sprinkles on everyone present at the bar. This ritual has a very long history and signifies the well-being and prosperity of the future family. The bride calls for well-being in this ritual.
Very often, guests are given notes that say what item and on what day should be sent to the newlyweds after the wedding. This tradition, strengthened in Germany, allows the bride and groom to receive necessary household items during their honeymoon. German weddings were held very widely and on a grand scale.
Traditions after the celebration
When the main ceremony is completed, the young couple again have dinner, either at their home or at the house of the bride's parents. We call this the second day of celebration. Guests and newly-made husband and wife have fun, organize competitions, eat and drink what is left from the first day of the holiday. And it’s a great sign for newlyweds if many children are present on the second day, and as many people as possible are invited to the event itself.
On the second day of the celebration, some Germans also try to distract the husband and take the bride away from under his nose. If the friends succeed, then the husband's job is to use written clues to find his wife. And of course, you will have to pay a fine for losing sight of your love. The tradition is also accompanied by songs, dances and promises to perform all household duties and always help the wife.
Expenditure part
A wedding in any country is an expensive event. According to statistics, the average amount that modern Germans spend on a celebration varies from 6,000 to 12,000 euros. And as practice shows, only 5% of spouses refuse a honeymoon. Statisticians even calculated what and how much money the average young couple spends on:
- Wedding dress - from 800 to 1500 euros.
- Hairstyle and festive makeup – from 200 to 400 euros.
- Groom's festive suit - from 500 to 800 euros.
- Rent of a banquet hall – from 500 to 700 euros.
- Decorating the hall - from 500 to 700 euros.
- Wedding rings – from 500 to 2000 thousand euros.
- Festive table - from 50 to 110 euros per person.
- Cake – from 300 to 500 euros.
- Carriage for newlyweds (carriage or car) – from 300 to 600 euros.
- Invitations – approximately 500 euros.
- Musical accompaniment – from 1000 to 2500 thousand euros.
- Photographer – from 500 to 1500 euros.
- State duty – 100 euros.
Some couples have to take out a bank loan to organize a wedding, but traditionally the costs are divided in half by the parents of the bride and groom if the young couple are not yet ready to bear the expenses. The question remains open: what do they give for a wedding in Germany? Everything here is extremely simple: the bride and groom make a list of necessary things in advance, and if there is none, then monetary amounts are considered the ideal gift.
German wedding traditions are very ancient, they have developed over several centuries and are sacredly revered to this day. The Germans take responsibility for organizing the holiday, and a wedding usually lasts three days. German traditions are also skillfully combined with Russian weddings in Germany.
wedding feast
The wedding menu must consist of at least twenty dishes. Guests usually stock up on special pots made of clay, which they use when collecting everything that was not eaten at the wedding table.
Not long ago, the tradition of bringing out pieces of raw beef as souvenirs for dear guests disappeared. The wedding cake is a very important part of the wedding feast. There is a traditional cake shape that consists of five tiers, symbolizing the five stages that a person goes through during life: death, birth of children, marriage and first communion. The young bride and groom cut the cake together and whose hand is higher will rule the family. According to tradition, after a feast, it is customary to cover the road for the newlyweds with branches of pine needles, since then the family will have prosperity and well-being.
