How to force a man to marry: advice from a psychologist

“We live in a civil marriage, I can’t imagine how to force him to marry. Maybe he doesn't love me? Such thoughts are frequent guests in the minds of the fair sex. At the same time, in Europe, civil marriage has long been the norm and does not cause panic. Couples can date each other for more than 5-6 years, be in the status of a family for others, and formalize the relationship later. If this information has not reassured you, and you are still tormented by thoughts of how to force a man to marry, then this article is for you.

Marriage stereotypes

How to force a man to marry you and what is the reason for the fear of formalizing the relationship? Dear girls, let's admit honestly and openly that the desire to drag you to the registry office does not arise from great love. It’s just that this stereotype is imposed by fairy tales, beautiful films about love, examples of grandparents, fathers and mothers. In this way, the fair sex just wants to gain confidence that the faithful will not go anywhere. It’s as if, along with the stamp in your passport, a special stamp and a rope are issued, confirming your right to a partner. And the man, in turn, is afraid of losing his beloved girl. Yes exactly. Because she doesn’t want her to turn into an unkempt and dissatisfied housewife.

What is marriage for?

If you are thinking about how to get a man to marry, ask yourself why you need to get married. Do you want what is commonly called female happiness, or are you afraid of “losing” a man, like your keys or wallet? Or maybe you just need to get married because all your girlfriends are already married? Do you want a baby, or maybe you just want to wear a white dress? What drives you so strongly that you can neither sleep nor eat, dreaming of the long-awaited ring and thinking about how to get a man to marry? The answer to this question will clarify a lot, and above all for yourself.

Female and male gaze

How to make a man marry you? The psychology of men and women differs in this regard. If a woman tends to see some kind of stability in marriage, which in itself is debatable, then the stronger sex in marriage sees maturity and the ability to provide for a family. Think about it: is it worth forcing a man to get married if he is not ready for it? There is a high probability that you will get a whole bag of problems immediately after the celebration. He will propose to you when he is confident in himself and his capabilities. Think about it, because a lot of responsibility falls on his shoulders: for your life, for the security and normal life of future children... The role of a woman in marriage is slightly different than that of a man. It is considered normal if she does not work and is engaged in raising children and housekeeping. But if a man cannot provide for the needs of his woman, he is automatically equated with weaklings.

The main women's mistakes

Trying to influence a man, many young ladies act thoughtlessly, which puts them off marriage even further. How to get a guy to marry you? It is necessary to avoid misunderstandings and not to frighten off a potential groom with excessive persistence. What are the most common mistakes ladies make when wondering how to get him to marry?

Limitation of opportunities. Do not encroach on the freedom of your chosen one, otherwise he will simply run away. Convey the idea that after marriage he will be able to devote enough time to friends and hobbies.
Tears. Constantly whining about wanting to get married, a diamond ring and a wedding dress only irritates gentlemen. A man will not want to marry a lady with a boring and complex character.
Blackmail. How to force a man to marry you is described in psychology quite clearly. Psychologists unanimously recognize that one of the main female mistakes is the desire of young ladies to blackmail a guy by leaving. By driving a gentleman into a dead end with provocations, you risk achieving the opposite effect - a defensive reflex will automatically work and your loved one may break off the relationship altogether.
Desire to please. You shouldn't sacrifice all your personal interests. Among the stronger sex, girls who have their own opinions, desires and life priorities are much more respected.
Reproaches. Negative statements addressed to a potential groom will not lead to anything good. Don’t humiliate his dignity, don’t say that you spent your best years on the relationship.

How to get a man to propose marriage? Act with softness and tenderness, show how happy he will be with you next to him. If a guy loves you deeply and mutually, then a marriage proposal will follow immediately.

Or maybe the child will save him?

The surest way to get a marriage proposal is to get pregnant! “Lenka from the next door did just that and forced the man to marry. And it worked, yesterday I proposed to her, well done, she should have done the same a long time ago.” This is the most harmful statement. It does not bring anything good to the fair sex, no matter how sad. Moreover, if this is one of your “insidious” plans, then... “congratulations.” You belong to the category of manipulators and do not love anyone but yourself. For the sake of your peace of mind and a feeling of completeness, you are ready for a small child, who is not to blame for anything, to become a tool. Think about how it will feel as a marriage pill and then as a divorce pill. The child must appear in a family in which both mother and father want him to appear and are ready to become parents. You won’t surprise anyone with a marriage “on the fly.” And this method has long been the subject of ridicule from others. By the way, the matter may not end with a wedding. There is a very high risk of remaining a single mother even after marriage. Think three times about dooming yourself and your baby to this.

What are men afraid of?

Almost any woman is ready to easily change the status of a friend or mistress to the honorary status of a wife. However, representatives of the stronger sex are usually in no hurry to propose marriage. The reluctance to tie oneself to one's beloved in marriage can be explained by various reasons.

He was already married and past unsuccessful relationships caused serious moral trauma.
She is afraid of losing her freedom, thinking that a woman will limit meetings with friends, going to clubs, or prohibit her from doing favorite activities where her participation is not provided.
She sincerely thinks that having a stamp in a passport does not change anything in a relationship.
Does not want to be responsible for another person and solve everyday problems.
Does not consider a woman the only possible life partner.

How to marry a man to yourself? First of all, you should call your chosen one for a frank conversation, during which you directly ask questions and demand truthful answers. Having learned about his fears, you can choose a certain tactic of behavior and help your lover finally decide on drastic changes in his family status.

The main myth about the wedding ceremony

Since childhood, girls have been watching beautiful fairy tales: “Cinderella”, “The Little Mermaid” and others. This all creates the false idea that if a partner loves, he is simply obliged to marry. After all, it's beautiful. White dress, veil, parents are crying with happiness, girlfriends are jealous, and your ex is biting his elbows because he missed you... And after the celebration, you, happy, look at the wedding photos, holding hands. It's an illusion. A wedding is simply a Christian ceremony. Previously, due to the foundations of society, this was necessary for a girl so that she could live a normal life. And the weddings themselves were different. People gathered together, walked in their houses and lived family life. Today, formalizing relationships has turned into window dressing. Both here and here, all the magazines are full of celebrities in luxurious dresses costing several tens of thousands of dollars. The girls are dying to have the same holiday. Let it be more modest, but so that it remains a “beautiful memory.” And then it started... Dress, restaurant, invitations, groom's suit and guests. The wedding industry has long become a business. A wedding is perceived not as the main event in the lives of two people, but as an opportunity for self-expression through this holiday. What then? Give up the false idea that you will be reviewing the wedding CD and album while smiling. Ask those who have already gotten married how often they do this. The reality is that after the celebrations, which many spend on credit, debts remain. There is not enough money, and your beloved husband must fall asleep and wake up with a headache about where to earn money for food, utilities, etc. So, maybe, instead of constantly thinking about how to force a man to marry you, you will think about him too?

Resetting an idea

Everyone has heard the phrase “a good deed is not a marriage” at least once. Let this joke become your credo for a while. When a man sees that you are not putting pressure on him, that you love him and you feel good, he will be calm. This is not about indifference, but about that normal psychological calm that is necessary for relationships to develop harmoniously. And maybe the bright idea of formalizing the relationship will visit the chosen one faster.

Reconsidering relationships

How to force him to marry? Getting married is not an obligation. Reconsider your attitude towards marriage and partner. Imagine the opposite: you are a young beautiful girl who wants to make some dream come true, and your loved one demands a child from you, although you understand that you are completely unprepared for this. How will you feel under such pressure? Will the thought come to you that you as a person mean nothing to your loved one? Drop the mysticism: soul mates, past lives and everything else, including soul mates. Don't you think that if someone set out to find a soul mate, the person would be born with one eye, one leg, half a mouth, and so on? And the meaning of life would be one: to find a person whose mouth, nose, eyes and legs were in perfect harmony with yours. Funny, is not it? The myth that a person needs someone to be happy was imposed by the same psychologists. For what? Just imagine what a field this is for the work of mystics, esotericists, fortune-tellers, and, of course, psychologists themselves. Human fears and weaknesses will always be suffering for some and a goldmine for others. Become happy within yourself without the presence of your loved one nearby. May you feel good apart from each other. Then you can be happy together too. Your loved one will stop fulfilling a rather difficult duty: replacing your whole world, and happiness too. Do you know why you don't feel happy? Because no one explained how to find it. A girl grows up and seeks happiness, meets a man and says: “This is happiness!” Time passes, and there is no more happiness, the person has become different. Everything is gone. Why? It's just an unhealthy, sick relationship that needs to either be broken off or revived. The loved one was perceived as a personal drug. At first, a little bit was needed for flight and mood, then more and more. Now flowers are perceived as a given and a man’s responsibility. Let your happiness be within you, then you won’t have to look for it outside, and the question of how to get a man to marry will disappear by itself.

Trust is a shortcut to marriage

There is one short way to get what you want, be it a relationship, marriage or anything else. Trust. Don't schedule your relationship like a work schedule. Let them be free. There is no need to control and analyze everything. Do not suspect your future spouse of endless cheating. If he wants to leave, believe me: neither marriage nor children will hold him back. Nobody owes you anything. You don't have to be loved the way you want. You cannot force one person to another. Be self-sufficient. Provide for yourself, enjoy the little things, go to the cinema and shops. Then you will become truly free and attractive. Love your chosen one with all your soul, instead of nagging him from morning to night. You have no reason to be unhappy, except for one: you chose it as your lifestyle. And even when you have the treasured stamp, you will find a reason to suffer.

Strategies to help you ring your chosen one

Creative option

Most guys are very jealous. A jealous person can be encouraged to marry if the girl says that she has new admirers. To do this, you can start a correspondence on social pages. You can ask a friend or girlfriend. The affair must not be real. The main thing is that the chosen one must think that he has rivals. He will not tolerate competition and will most likely make an offer.

Homemade way

This option is suitable for girls accustomed to the comfort of home. To push your chosen one towards marriage, it is necessary to create ideal home comfort. This means that all his clothes are washed and ironed, the house is completely cleaned. Also, don’t forget about delicious breakfasts, lunches and dinners. There is a high probability that the man will appreciate the care and want to get married. In this case, the chosen one must be home. Eternal extreme sports fans and party-goers will not like the comfort of home with delicious dishes.

READ ALSO: What signs can you use to understand that a man is cheating?

Risky option

This method can only be used in extreme cases. Girls need to imagine that they are single and not in a relationship. Free time can be spent on friends, relatives, sports and fitness, shopping, and work. You should not pick up the phone at the first call from your chosen one. It is recommended to call back only after 2-3 hours. After such an act, the man will understand that the girl can live without him. Using this method, girls take a lot of risks. In the first case, the chosen one will propose. Otherwise, he will decide to break up and find someone else.

"Harmful" advice

How to make your future husband marry you faster? Here are some anti-tips:

From morning to night, cry, show your unhappy and mournful appearance. Men cannot stand tears, and your chosen one will decide, if he is too soft, that you are right.
Lay him out on the shelves why this is necessary. Their own weapons, as they say.
Does he often listen to his friends? Forward! Sigh languidly and show with all your appearance how much you want to be a legal wife. How bad it is to be alone. And you can also hit him with the question: “What will they think, we’re not married?!”
Talk about the fact that he is not the only one, and you don’t have to wait for him. A sure way to scare a responsible and faithful man who places too many demands on himself first and foremost.
Get someone else, let him know that you are a queen.

When someone says that it is convenient for a man to live in a civil marriage... Think about it, because it is convenient for you too. One way or another, you ask a man to solve your problems, including material ones. It’s hard to imagine how convenient it would be for a man to come to the same girl every evening and solve her problems, instead of going to a club or bar. Think about it, maybe it’s not about convenience, but about yourself?

Signs why a man does not want to get married.

To understand whether a man really loves you and still marries you, sometimes you need to listen to his words. There are some men who can “hang noodles on their ears,” and there are also those who speak directly and openly about their attitude towards the wedding. If a woman talks to a man about how she wants to get married, and in response she hears:

- “I don’t plan to get married in the next ten years,” then this answer needs to be taken seriously. Most likely, the man has set certain goals for himself, which he strives to achieve, and a wedding is not included in these plans.

- “We will definitely get married, but not now” and this promise can last a year, two, three. If a man constantly feeds you with promises, but does nothing in the given direction, then he may never get married. And you will wait for a miracle for many more years.

- “Why a wedding? We’re already together!” A similar statement is included in the vocabulary of an avid opponent of weddings. He welcomes civil marriage, but has an extremely negative attitude towards the stamp in the passport. Therefore, the last word is yours: can you be content with, as they say, little.

Leave or stay

How to force your loved one to marry if both tears and arguments have already been tried, but to no avail? Maybe find another man? You have the right to leave your chosen one if he does not offer a ring, but think about this: will you feel good in a new relationship? Will it turn out that you will lose your true love in order to gain a stamp?

Family according to your passport is not yet an indicator of love. If your chosen one has not proposed to you yet, do not rush to look for new love. Perhaps, while you are lying awake at night, thinking about how to get your common-law husband to marry, he is already planning your celebration.

Why is a man in no hurry to get married?

First of all, it is worth finding out the reasons why a man is in no hurry to register his marriage. Among the main reasons for fear of marriage in men are the following:

Sad, desperate little boy during parents quarrel — hugging his friend old teddy bear
Negative experience of family relationships between parents. If, as a child, your chosen one often observed problems in the relationship between father and mother, then he may on a subconscious level believe that legalized relationships will bring nothing but conflicts.
Uncertainty about the chosen one. Men themselves are more pragmatic than women. To make a serious decision that can radically change their life, they need to weigh the pros and cons, find irrefutable evidence that this particular woman will become a reliable and worthy companion. They will think for a long time, analyze the behavior and reaction of a woman in various situations, and only when they are completely convinced of the need to make a decision will they take their chosen one to the registry office.
Reluctance to make drastic changes. You have a stable relationship, regular sex, you may have moved in with him. Hence the question: why should he register your relationship if you already live as a family? He’s already happy with everything, so he doesn’t see any urgent need to register a relationship.
His feelings are not that deep. There is a possibility that the man does not love his chosen one so much to take her to the registry office and admits the possibility that a more worthy companion will appear in his life.