The companions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) often came to him with questions related to their personal lives. Even women from among his followers came to him with questions about marital relations. They were not ashamed and did not hesitate to know the truth, and the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was not ashamed to tell them about the truth, because the Noble Quran says: “ ... but Allah is not ashamed of the truth
» (33:53).
Clearly, there is nothing wrong with studying and discussing issues related to marriage and intimate relationships for the purpose of Islamic education. In these times when the world is giving great importance to "sex education" in a very crude and crude manner, why should we Muslims be ashamed to reveal decent and pure teachings in this field?
Under the influence of pornographic materials and obscene literature, many Muslims crossed the boundaries permitted by Sharia in satisfying their sexual passion and thereby brought upon themselves the troubles of this and the next worlds, including in the form of various deadly infections. Many of these Muslims are blissfully unaware of the existence of Islamic injunctions on this issue and, due to their absolute ignorance of Islamic provisions, have already violated Sharia law, causing harm not only to themselves, but also to their partners and even future, unborn offspring.
Therefore, in order to preserve and protect health and marriage bonds from all harms and sufferings, there is a need for education on this often neglected aspect of Islam. The younger generation especially needs such enlightenment, and in particular those of them who are preparing to bind themselves to the sacred bonds of nikah. We hope that every married couple and all those who are preparing to get married soon will benefit greatly from this article, inshaAllah.
First night etiquette
With ideal adherence to the strict Islamic norms prescribed in Sharia, the newlyweds will most likely be complete strangers to each other, without any contact before marriage. This situation, as well as the feeling of awkwardness that accompanies it, is a natural consequence of shyness and modesty, which are an integral part of faith. Under these circumstances, it will be quite natural for the spouses to be extremely shy of each other, experiencing significant tension and anxiety. To break the ice, greet each other with the traditional Islamic salam. After this, the husband gently places his right hand on his wife’s forehead and says:
All rights reserved. تها عليه
Translation: “ O Allah! I ask You for her good and the good with which she was created. I ask for Your protection from her evil and the evil with which she was created
».
After this, you can read religious literature to each other about nikah, etc. Excellent material for study are “Kitabun-Nikah”, “Hayatul-Muslimin”, etc. An important point that young people often neglect is the importance of extreme softness and tenderness on the first night and during the first intimacy. Many men have a false preconception that gentleness is the opposite of masculinity. The damage this prejudice does to the marital relationship on the first night affects the marriage for months and even years to come.
In the first stages of an intimate union, a virgin usually goes through anxiety and pain, which leads to fear. At this time, through his actions and behavior, the husband needs to show maximum care and attention towards his wife. In addition, it is important that the husband never doubts his wife if for some reason it suddenly seemed to him that she was not a virgin. It is a sin. It is forbidden to think badly about a loved one only on the basis of such assumptions. And it’s even worse to insult and oppress her because of it. This is zulm (injustice, oppression) and a great sin. There are many reasons why a girl could lose her hymen, which has been proven by medicine. These are heavy periods, illness, falls, strong jumps, horse riding and some other sports, aging, etc.
Intention during intimacy
It is reported that Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) advised: “ The following intentions should be taken when having intimacy
:
zin protection
(adultery)
protection from being looked at by strangers
,
acquiring righteous offspring who will serve Islam
».
If a person enjoys intimacy with the right intentions, then he receives not only pleasure, but also reward and sawab.
The hadith says that even intimacy with one's wife is rewarded and is regarded as sadaqah. The Sahaba were very surprised - how is it that a person gets pleasure from satisfying his sexual passion and at the same time receives a reward for it? The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) explained to them that if this person had satisfied his desires in a prohibited way, he would have been punished, so why then should he not receive a reward for doing it in a permitted way? Surely he will receive a reward.
From the book “ Norms for intimate relationships in Islam”
» Sexual Etiquettes in Islam / Lenasia Muslim Association
A Chechen wedding is a great holiday, but not for the bride’s relatives: they don’t participate in the celebration!
Chechen bride in national wedding dress.
Chechen wedding: hello, how much is the bride?
And the celebration begins from the groom's house. It is here that an honorary delegation gathers, whose mission is to bring the bride to her new home.
The wedding cortege is formed from a very large number of cars, the more the better. Mostly for the bride. The wisest of the wisest - the old men - set off on the journey, and the groom's sister and the mullah (Muslim priest) always go with them.
This is one of the options for decorating cars at Chechen weddings.
In theory, when the guests arrive, the bride should be sitting in all her glory with her suitcases packed and ready, already prepared. But, as usual, the girls are late, so the old men gather in a separate room and have leisurely conversations.
When the bride is finally “in parade,” she is ransomed. The amount of dowry is determined by the mullah. The groom's relatives may give more, thereby emphasizing their good intentions and the importance of their relationship to the bride's family. After this, the mullah goes to the bride’s room, where, in the presence of two adult married women, he conducts the “marriage” ceremony.
The next task of the mullah is the same procedure only with the groom, two men act as witnesses, and here it doesn’t matter whether they are married or not. It is advisable to do this before the bride steps into her betrothed’s house. After which the newlyweds are considered married.
On your marks! Attention! March!
After the bride is ready, the groom's brother goes after her, takes her hand and leads her out of the room. But it was not there! The bride's sister is blocking his way, so he has to pay him off! That's it - the road is clear! The brother takes the bride out of the house, sits in the front seat, and the groom's girlfriend and sister sit in the car with her.
A Chechen bride is taken out of her home.
The motorcade starts moving - and then the racing begins! Each of the numerous cars tries to take a place behind the bride's car. This is both prestigious and profitable - an expensive prize awaits such reckless people in the groom’s house: for example, a carpet or a separate table of honor.
But don’t speed up too much: at any moment, adults or children may block the road, demanding payment for the journey. After all, a Chechen wedding is a holiday for everyone!
The groom's mother meets the bride at the house, helps her get out of the car and gives her a bite of candy or some other sweet, then takes a bite herself. At this moment, shots and even machine gun fire are heard. This kind of recklessness has now turned into real fun.
In fact, initially loud sounds were used to scare away evil spirits from the house, but previously it was enough to fire a couple of shots.
Wedding procession
Before the bride is taken to the groom's house, she is escorted out of the house by the groom's brother or the future father-in-law's cousin. The man accompanying the girl helps her get into the car in which her sisters and friends will go with her, and he himself gets behind the wheel.
The cortege sets off, but then the fun begins. The cars following the bride's car, trying to arrive at the groom's house second, organize real races. The winner receives a valuable gift. But you should be extremely careful during these races. After all, anyone can stop the wedding procession along the route and demand payment for the journey. Usually the groom's brother, who accompanies the girl and acts as a driver, pays.
Chechen wedding: bride, Come to the corner, quickly!
The groom's brother takes the bride into the house and puts her in the most honorable place - in the corner! Yes, this is where she will spend her most important day in her life.
In order for a son to be born first in the family, a boy is brought to the bride, she takes him in her arms, pats his cheeks, kisses him and lets him go, rewarding him with a gift or money.
The Chechen bride stands with her head down in the corner of the room.
The feast begins, everyone congratulates the groom's parents, wishes for more grandchildren and all sorts of blessings in general. Everyone comes to a Chechen wedding - no invitations. As soon as the bride enters the house, dancing begins.
But here, too, everything is not so simple. The improvised dance floor is divided into two parts: a semicircle for men, a semicircle for women. A couple dances in the center, chosen by a man who takes on the role of “dance toastmaster.”
A Chechen bride stands modestly in a dance circle.
All this time, the bride stands like a statue in the corner: she is not allowed to sit in the presence of her elders. Women come up to her and look under the veil. After some time, the groom's mother raises her veil. Next to the bride is a bridesmaid who is allowed to sit and eat. After some time, she is given a gift and taken home.
They are famous for their traditions, and here the next test for the bride is the ritual of “untying the tongue.” The men approach the girl, bombard her with jokes and ask the bride to bring her water. She must break for a long time and be laconic.
The stingy “enjoy your drink” is the loosening of the tongue. For this, the man must give the bride money, otherwise she may not talk to him for the rest of her days (I must say that such cases do happen). In the end, the girl collects a decent amount of money, which she, as a rule, gives to her mother-in-law.
Wedding fun in Chechnya lasts up to three days.
Chechen wedding - to be continued
Several months pass after the wedding and, according to tradition, the groom must visit his new relatives - his wife’s close ones. A day is set, expensive gifts are prepared. The groom takes friends with him, whose task is to respond wittily to the jokes and ridicule of the male half of his wife’s relatives.
Tables at Chechen weddings are now set according to all modern trends.
On this special day, relatives gather at the festive table, eat, drink, and communicate. When the official part comes to an end, the groom's parents say goodbye and leave. The groom himself leaves, but in order to return... with his lads. The delegation heads to the bride's house, leaving the groom around the corner of the house. Here representatives of the brother-in-law's brother-in-law's lads are waiting for them and inviting them into the house. The groom's name is called, and he, as if embarrassed, enters the house.
The test for the groom is to enter the house in shoes without offending the household. If you leave your shoes unattended, something will definitely be poured or added into them, or they may simply be nailed to the floor. Resourceful friends come to the rescue: the groom bends down, pretending that he wants to take off his shoes, but then he is “unexpectedly” pushed into the house. And the shoes are intact and the groom turned out to be well-mannered.
You can’t do without musical accompaniment at a Chechen wedding.
Everyone sits down at the table: on one side is the bride’s side, on the other is the groom’s. The groom himself stands motionless as a rock all the time to the side, modestly bowing his head (this is retribution for the “bride in the corner”!). Those gathered eat, drink, and make jokes towards the groom. From time to time, children may enter the room and approach the groom. He must give money to each child. Then the girls take the groom to another room, where he is finally seated at a table with treats.
In Chechnya, when meeting parents and relatives, the groom is given a gold ring or gold bracelet.
For modern society, such a concept as “wedding night” has long been of a purely symbolic nature. Intimate relationships before marriage are quite normal, because people want to get to know each other better. True, not everyone is free to use these. For Muslims, the wedding night is practically one of the most important events in life.
As you know, in Islam the beginning of sexual relations must take place in compliance with all religious rules. The first intimacy, according to the Koran, must be imbued with an atmosphere of sacredness. Muslims' wedding night, as well as intimacy in general, has a high spiritual meaning. In addition, while observing the strictest standards, the newlyweds may not even know each other. Under such circumstances, the bride and groom will be extremely shy, feel awkward and be in a tense state.
To make the situation more comfortable, Muslims undergo mandatory observance of the following rituals:
When entering into intimate intimacy, young people should have the following intentions:
Do not engage in adultery;
A man should not stare at strange women;
Give birth to offspring who will serve Allah.
If a person enjoys intimacy with the right intentions, then he receives not only pleasure from it, but also a reward - sawab. Love is the most important foundation of family life. The Qur'an encourages the wife and husband to be merciful, forgiving and patient. Regardless of religion and place of residence, happiness can only be found with the person for whom you have the strongest and deepest feelings.
A very colorful celebration, full of Islamic customs. And even though today newlyweds do not follow all the traditions, some of them are still strictly observed. This applies, first of all, to first marital intimacy.
First wedding night in Islam: customs
The religious movement of Islam is popular among many nationalities. Currently, more and more people are joining this belief.
Such wide popularity is explained by the fact that Islam has clear laws and prohibitions that allow one to grow and develop as a spiritual and highly moral person. This applies to both ordinary and family wedding life.
Muslim customs
Previously, there was a custom according to which, after the first wedding night, a white sheet with traces of blood was taken out. This testified to the girl’s purity. Currently, this is considered an outdated tradition that no one adheres to.
The girl and the boy remain together on their wedding night only after the beautiful lady brings her entire dowry to her husband. Interestingly, by the first night she should have accumulated approximately 40 sets of blankets, pillows and bed linens. Moreover, each of these sets must have handmade embroidery.
Before the actual act of intimacy, young spouses are required to read two prayers. In the first, they ask God for blessings. In the second prayer, the husband and wife calm down and relax a little. It is necessary not to be very tense on this day.
In any nationality, the young bride and groom must be sober before an important event in their lives. Immediately before intimacy, the man gives the woman a glass of milk and a cup of honey, which will symbolize health and a happy, sweet life.
Wedding night in the Caucasus
Everyone knows that the man is in charge in the Caucasus. At the same time, he has a dominant role not only in everyday life, but also in bed. Since all girls getting married are virgins, they behave quite modestly and intelligently. Beautiful girls are shy, not knowing how to behave with a man. Here the young man must take charge.
He is forbidden to take his wife by force. He should be incredibly affectionate and gentle. It is believed that it is the first wedding night that determines how good and harmonious a married couple’s sex life will be. Of course, a girl should not deny her man anything.
But at the same time, she may become averse to sex due to her husband’s inept actions. That is why the first and main task of any spouse is to make the woman as supportive as possible. And this can be achieved with the help of basic affection and care.
Chechens' first wedding night
The timing of the first wedding night is noteworthy. It is permissible to organize it only on the third day of the wedding. Accordingly, people drink and party for several days, and after that the first wedding night can be officially organized.
The bride should be taken to the bedroom by her married friends to help her prepare for her wedding night. At this time, the man reads the Koran, after which he puts on a special traditional costume. This outfit is given to him by the bride's relatives as a sign of respect and special veneration.
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After a man has read the prayer, he must close the book and begin sexual intercourse. All this time, the bride dutifully waits for her chosen one.
At the same time, in Chechnya there is still a widespread custom according to which young people do not even know each other before the wedding. Such couples are allowed to do without intimacy on this night. If they mutually desire, they can get acquainted and communicate quite closely in private.
How do they spend their wedding night in Dagestan?
In some ancient villages of Dagestan, ancient customs still exist. According to them, a woman and a man came together in a fight. The one who won and was considered the winner. At the same time, it cannot be said that women have always been the weaker sex. Often she could confront her lover on the same level.
Before the night itself, the woman was put on special clothes, which had many knots on them. The man's task was to untie all the existing knots. Men were prohibited from using daggers and other sharp objects.
The Muslim world sometimes surprises with its customs and traditions. Some principles of life of adherents of Islam evoke respect, others - outright misunderstanding. For example, it’s hard for Slavic women to even imagine what it’s like to bring out a sheet with virgin blood for everyone to see. Although this ritual of the first wedding night in different countries of the Islamic world has been considered the norm for decades.
The wedding portal svadebka.ws tried to look behind the screen of the forbidden and find out what rituals are customary to perform in Islam for newlyweds on their wedding night in order to lay the foundation for a prosperous and godly marriage.
Muslims' first wedding night: interesting facts
In addition to Islamic customs, the celebration of the first wedding night among Muslims has a number of additions that make the responsibilities of the spouses more flexible. This makes life easier for spouses in some current situations, namely:
The first wedding night is the sacrament of two hearts. Despite some strict and unusual Muslim wedding traditions, Sharia maintains trusting and tender relationships between spouses. What interesting traditions do other nations support? You can get acquainted with Indian wedding traditions on our website www.site.
Wedding night in Islam: traditions and rules
Probably no one takes first intimacy as seriously as Muslims. Preparation for the first wedding night in Islam takes place according to established rules that have been around for decades.
Couple's bedroom
Before their first night together, the girl transports all her dowry to the groom’s house, which includes at least 40 pillows and blankets. It is forbidden to buy some bedding, so many things are sewn and decorated with your own hands. The marital bed is dressed in advance with bed linen prepared by the bride.
Upon entering the room, the couple needs to make sure that there are no strangers or animals in the room. It is also important to check the availability of the Holy Quran. If there is one, it is either taken out or covered with cloth. So that the newlyweds can relax, dim lights are turned on in the room.
Prayer Request
The wedding night according to Islam usually begins by reading prayers, they do it as follows. Having retired, the groom puts his hand on the bride’s head, says pleasant words to her, praises her beauty and thriftiness. Muslims believe that a prayer request will have a beneficial effect on the relationship in a couple and on the birth of future heirs. After the prayer, the man treats the girl with sweets and gives gifts.
Getting to know each other before intimacy
Since people who do not know each other usually get married, according to Islam it is possible to postpone the first wedding night to another day. A husband is prohibited from taking his wife by force if she is not ready for intimate relations.
Spouses can spend their first night together talking, getting to know each other. This rule is also practiced at weddings among Kazakhs, most of whom profess Islam.
intimate moment
The first wedding night in Islam does not always end with intimacy. The reason for postponing intimacy may be critical days or poor health. At the same time, a woman should not be sharply and rudely forbidden to touch herself; she explains her refusal gently and calmly.
On the first wedding night in Islam, maximum care and delicacy is required from the husband in order to win over the girl. No one will know how everything will go. This intimate moment remains between the spouses.
Men are initially taught that their wife should be treated tenderly and affectionately on the first night. After all, the future sex life of the spouses depends on how the first intimacy goes. If a girl is deprived of her virginity by force and rudeness, she may develop vaginismus - a disease in which severe spasms of the female genital organs occur, preventing the male organ from entering.
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The first wedding night among Muslims takes place without contraceptives, because for them, childbirth is at the forefront of everything.
Washing after intercourse
After sex on their wedding night, according to Islam, the newlyweds must undergo a ritual bath. Moreover, if the spouses had sex several times during the night, after each intercourse a partial ablution is performed. If the couple has fallen asleep, then the ritual of ablution must be performed in the morning before reading the morning prayer.
If the wife turns out to be a virgin, the husband will have to spend seven consecutive nights in the same bed with her.
Confirmation of innocence
For many years, it was customary for older women to stand outside the newlyweds' bedroom doors during intimate moments to test the bride's virginity. Among some peoples, this tradition still exists today, despite the fact that it contradicts the Koran and Islamic etiquette.
Another controversial point is the removal of a sheet with traces of blood. But recently, this tradition is increasingly being abandoned, as it affects the dignity of the girl. In addition, it takes into account the fact that some innocent girls do not bleed due to the physiological characteristics of the body.
The question of the bride's purity remains only between the newlyweds. But if the fact of a premarital affair is revealed, the groom can either forgive his wife and keep everything a secret, or return the girl to the family in shame.
On the morning after intimacy, tables are set in the house and close relatives are invited to celebrate the last day of the wedding. As you can see, young people have no doubts about how to spend their wedding night in Islam; their ancestors established certain rules and traditions, emphasizes the Svadebka.ws portal.
It's amazing how many different and interesting customs and traditions are associated with the first wedding night, be it a Muslim or Jewish wedding. But the goal is always the same - creating a strong and fertile family!
The first wedding night for Muslims is an important stage of the wedding celebration, when the newlyweds are finally left alone, can have a heart-to-heart talk and be together. This is a very intimate and important time when the bride and groom can talk about everything and share their most intimate things with each other. However, the first wedding night in Islam also has a symbolic meaning: the newlyweds must observe a large number of customs and traditions in order for the marriage to be truly strong.
