ᐉ What to say when you go to get married. How does bride matchmaking work nowadays

A modern matchmaking scenario from the groom's side. How should a bride behave?

Matchmaking is an almost forgotten ancient custom of asking the bride’s hand in marriage from her parents. Previously, not a single wedding was complete without this ritual ; it was given perhaps the most important place in the entire wedding organization.
When can you get married? In Rus' there were certain days for this; it was believed that you should not go ask for a girl’s hand in marriage on a fast day, on even days, the 13th. Now you can choose a day that is convenient for everyone, for example, a day off.

Despite the fact that nowadays matchmaking is an exclusively symbolic tradition , many couples are reviving it, since such an acquaintance with the groom will definitely not be forgotten soon.

What is matchmaking and who are matchmakers?

Matchmaking is a marriage proposal from the groom addressed to the bride's parents, literally asking for her hand and parental blessing.

Matchmakers are representatives of the groom who come to the girl’s house to make a match. In the old days, they tried to choose close relatives of the groom, his father or godparents, or called specialized matchmakers for this role. Their task was not only to woo the chosen girl, but also to find out about her family , dowry, and personal qualities. Sometimes matchmakers themselves selected a suitable candidate for their ward.

How do matchmakers match the groom? Previously, they visited the girl’s home with gifts and asked the relatives for permission to marry. And after the consent of the parents, preparations for the wedding itself began.

How is it going nowadays?

Today, matchmaking simply refers to the groom's visit to the bride's parents to ask for her hand in marriage.

Of course, the decision is made not by the parents, but by the young people themselves, but good form obliges them to be officially introduced to the family of their beloved. It is not necessary for a matchmaker and a matchmaker to be present. After this, the bride's parents come to the groom's house to meet the young man's family.

Signs about matchmaking

The ritual of matchmaking - collusion, hand-shaking - occurs according to special laws. First of all, in the old days matchmaking was always arranged by a matchmaker. Only after enlisting her help did the groom go to the house of the future bride.

The matchmaker was the main character in the conspiracy, therefore, while arranging the fate of the young people, she had to comply with many conventions.

So, for example, the matchmaker should not have sat down during the entire wedding arrangement (otherwise the young children will “sit” for a long time and will get to their feet late).

In addition, the matchmaker refused to eat and drink, protecting future children in the new family from gluttony and drunkenness.

Entering the hallway, the matchmaker secretly stole a broom and hid it in the frills of her wide skirt during the entire agreement: then, according to legend, the matchmaking should have been successful.

For the same purpose, before the start of the conspiracy, the matchmaker warmed her hands at the stove. It was believed that the spirits of deceased relatives lived in the oven, therefore, by warming her hands, the matchmaker showed them respect and asked for advice.

As soon as the matchmaker entered the house, the doors were immediately locked with a hook so that a random guest entering the house would not jinx the future bride and groom.

For the same purpose, it was forbidden to open the door to anyone until the end of the conspiracy.

The wedding agreement was not held on Wednesday and Friday, remembering that Wednesday and Friday were considered fast days (fasting on these days is associated with the fact that on Wednesday Judas betrayed Christ, and on Friday Christ was crucified).

The matchmaker came to handshake - the door was hooked. — As soon as the matchmaker or the matchmaker with the groom’s relatives enter the house of the bride’s parents, the door is immediately closed with a hook so that a person who accidentally enters does not jinx the matter.

The matchmaker should not sit in the bride's house. If he sits down, it won’t work. “They also say that if the in-laws are imprisoned, then the young people’s children will become siblings and will get back on their feet late.”

If he agrees to drink, then his children will grow up to be drunkards. If they persuade her to eat, then the children will suffer from gluttony.

Before starting negotiations about the wedding, the matchmaker warms his hands by the stove - otherwise there will be no sense in the agreement. — The sign goes back to the belief that the souls of the dead live in the oven. Warming his hands, the matchmaker seems to welcome them.

The matchmaker was usually greeted with the refrain “Oh, Lada, Lada!”, which called upon the ancient Russian goddess Lada, the patroness of love and marriage, to help.

From then on they say: “the wedding is going well,” “the family is going well,” that is, they remember Lada’s name.

When not to get married

They do not match on Wednesday and Friday. This is due to the fact that Wednesday and Friday are fast days.

On the one hand, it is inappropriate to think about matchmaking on the day of fasting; on the other hand, if matchmakers come, problems arise with food, which can also affect the outcome of negotiations.

Epiphany handshake - to a happy family. — It was believed that on Epiphany (January 6th according to the old style, January 19th according to the new style) the Heavens open above the Earth, therefore all good undertakings are blessed from above and end in success.

You have to get married in April, before the last day. — The advice is based on the fact that getting married in May means “toiling all your life.” Its roots go back to the times when May was firmly associated with the sowing season.

How does matchmaking work according to tradition?

Previously, in Rus', much attention was paid to matchmaking; this aspect was considered the most important of all stages of marriage.

Often, a matchmaking ceremony was carried out on the part of the groom, although there were cases when girls also sent matchmakers to the grooms. The rules and customs in Rus' were such that a young man declared his intention to get married, or his parents decided that it was time to start his own family. If a young man liked a girl, then the parents and godparents collected information about the future daughter-in-law, what her dowry was, what family she was from, and the like.

Matchmaking in Rus'

If the choice was approved, matchmakers were sent to the bride's house. If a girl was considered an unsuitable match for their son or there was no suitable candidate, then the parents turned to matchmakers for advice. The matchmaker was usually a woman experienced in arranging marriage, who always had several unmarried girls in mind.

How did the matchmaking go? The matchmakers tried to come to the house after sunset, without meeting or talking to anyone on the way, in order to avoid the evil eye - so the signs said. It was also believed that the matchmaker should lean against the door frame before entering the house. According to Russian customs, matchmakers go only on strictly certain days .

It was believed that it was impossible to get married during Lent and on the 13th

After the guests entered the house, the conversation about the wedding began from afar. The matchmakers had to say a certain phrase that meant the true purpose of their visit: “You have goods, we have a merchant,” “We lost a sheep, has it wandered to you,” etc.

The bride did not participate in the conversation; she was supposed to sit silently and only change her outfits from time to time, wearing her best. Sometimes matchmakers might ask to demonstrate a girl's skills , for example, sewing or lace weaving. Then she brought out her work.

During the conversation, both parties, according to custom, tried to present the bride and groom as favorably . The matchmakers described the material wealth of the future spouse, the daughter's parents, how pretty, smart and diligent the girl was. This is roughly how the matchmaking of a daughter happens.

It was considered bad form to give an answer during the first visit of the matchmakers, but if the girl was from a poor family or was already old enough to begin to be considered an old maid, the parents could give consent immediately, since the matchmakers might not show up the second time.

Rich merchant families considered several candidates ; several delegations from different suitors could come to their house.

Matchmakers were sent to a rich bride with a good dowry several times

If they agree to the marriage after matchmaking, the bride's parents must pay a return visit: this is how the girl's relatives got acquainted with the groom's side, inspected the house where their daughter would go after the wedding, and then, directly, there was talk about the wedding celebration. People called this going “to look around,” that is, going to look at the groom’s property .

Russian customs of matchmaking

Consent to marriage was expressed in different ways: if the matchmakers came with a loaf of bread, then a positive answer was given by accepting the bread. According to another tradition, the mother of the bride brought a glass to the matchmaker or groom during matchmaking. If he drank it to the bottom, it meant yes, if he only sipped it a little and returned it, then no.

The refusal of the girl’s relatives was expressed in the fact that the matchmakers were given a watermelon or pumpkin, or simply kicked out. After this, the bride's family could gain a bad reputation due to refusal .

A betrothed bride in a beautiful dress was officially considered engaged, her status as a bride was firmly established until the moment of marriage. It was no longer possible to woo a betrothed but still unmarried girl. However, history knows many cases when an already betrothed girl ran away with her true beloved from an unwanted groom.

Features of the matchmaking ritual among Russians

Of course, today it is rare to meet people who adhere to ancient Russian traditions in their original form. Indeed, today civil marriages predominate among young couples. Before marriage, young people want to get to know each other’s lifestyle, habits and character, so that in the future they can see whether they need to connect their lives with such a person or not.

That is why when young people want to get married, the matchmaking ceremony is performed formally and, moreover, without strangers. So, a guy proposes first of all to his beloved, and only then, having received consent, goes to her parents. And over a cup of tea, the newlyweds inform them that their children are planning a wedding soon. That is, purely symbolically, out of decency and respect for the parents, the guy asks them for their daughter’s hand in marriage.

Of course, this was previously unacceptable, not to mention civil marriages. However, it cannot be said that Slavic traditions are completely gone. They just changed a little. In every Russian heart, the ceremony of matchmaking on the part of both the groom and the bride is always exciting, unpredictable, and in case of a negative answer, very sad.

The good thing is that most families still allow their children to choose their life partner on their own, unlike in an Armenian wedding. This did not happen in ancient Rus'. Many parents were not at all interested in the opinion of their child and married off or married exclusively rich people. And what will happen in family life, whether the husband will bring money into the house and the wife will cook, is not important.

For this reason, many problems arose. From folklore we remember cases of suicide or the unhappy and poor fate of hearts that ran away from home, who, after such an act, are forced to wander around the world without a home and normal food.

From the groom's side

Much depended on the groom during the matchmaking ceremony. He had to come to the girl’s parents along with the matchmakers and win them over. If everything is fine and everything is smooth, it means that the girl is engaged and other young people no longer have the right to come and get married.

Of course, there were cases when matchmakers were sent to a young man. This was due to the fact that the bride could not be married off for a long time. If his ancestors agreed, they took a glass of water and drank it to the bottom. If the answer was disappointing for the arriving party, then the glass was left half empty.

If earlier, in order to come and woo the bride, you had to buy gifts for her relatives, today everything is much simpler - just limit yourself to a bouquet of white flowers for your beloved, and a bouquet of burgundy or multi-colored flowers for her mother. Of course, no one canceled the presentable appearance. This will emphasize the groom’s punctuality, the seriousness of his intentions and respect for the girl’s family.

IMPORTANT. I’m going to a matchmaking ceremony, try not to talk to anyone so that no one will jinx it, but when I come to the house, lean your forehead on the door frame - then the ceremony will be successful.

From the bride's side

It was necessary for the bride to be tactful and try not to interfere in conversations about her between those who came and her parents. If you generally liked the guy, the newlyweds were engaged that day. But if his parents were against him, they gave him a pumpkin and suddenly kicked him out of the house, slamming the door in his face.

Matchmaking script from the bride with humor

Nowadays, humorous variations of matchmaking are popular, when the groom with his parents, matchmaker and musicians come to the bride’s house. It is believed that you must definitely come with a loaf of bread and salt .

Loaf of salt for matchmaking

The matchmaker asks questions to the girl’s parents, and they need to answer in a certain way. Then the bride appears, dressed in a beautiful dress. The matchmaker conducts tests for the young woman to make sure that the girl is worthy. After this comes the test for the groom. In time

During the ritual, symbolic gifts are presented to guests and parents, toasts are made, songs and ditties are sung. Then you can hold competitions for guests, which are similar to those that take place at weddings. After the matchmaker invites everyone to the festive table, the feast begins.

Photo of dress for matchmaking

On the Internet you can find many detailed scenarios for such an action , with remarks from all the invitees, from which young people can choose the best matchmaking scenario.

Modern matchmaking scenario on the part of the groom in 2021

Now many couples are reviving the ancient tradition, reshaping it in a new way. How to get married in a modern way this year?

You can support customs by conducting an interesting scenario in Russian folk style. To do this, the groom and matchmakers are invited to dress in Russian folk costumes and invite a professional matchmaker. In this case, acquaintance consists of proverbs, jokes, and jokes. As in any other course of action, the matchmaker asks questions to the bride and her parents, presents the groom in a favorable light , arranges comic tests for the girl, for example, sweeping up coins scattered on the floor with a broom, and then tests the groom by asking him riddles. A cool scenario might include competitions for guests and loud singing of ditties.

If you wish, you can memorize all the lines in poetic form . It may seem difficult, but in reality it does not require much effort and will be really interesting and unusual.

What to cook for the bride's parents?

What is customary to prepare for matchmaking? Matchmaking is not complete without a feast; the task of the bride's mother and the girl herself is to show all the cordiality and hospitality of the receiving party.

It would be appropriate to prepare signature dishes for the occasion.

The bride also needs to show off her culinary talents . Dishes can be served as usual at buffets - cold appetizers, salads, hot dishes, warm appetizers, dessert. Of course, don't forget about drinks. Alcohol on the table is welcome, but it should not be abused.

The main thing is that the atmosphere is warm and relaxed. During the feast, it is necessary to praise the girl and her skills as a hostess.

A matchmaking cake made from cream is quite appropriate, especially if the visit takes place in winter. In summer it is better to choose a lighter, fruity or berry dessert .

Photo of a wedding cake

Table setting also matters. The table should be set carefully, in a festive manner. Tea sets, napkins, vases for bouquets - everything needs to be thought out in advance . Even if this tradition is not as strong now as it was before, it is better to make a good impression. The bride should be responsible for changing dishes and serving them to the table. By the way, new dishes can be brought out using trays. It’s both comfortable and looks festive.

The process of matchmaking a bride in Islam

The Muslim tradition of matchmaking is not very different from the Russian one. As in the case of Slavic custom, matchmakers are sent to the house of the prospective bride, often the groom’s father himself. The matchmaker asks for permission to marry and negotiates with the bride's parents, the girl does not participate in the conversation. She is supposed to wear closed clothing so that only her face and hands are visible.

Matchmaking in Islam

Nowadays the groom himself is allowed to woo the bride, but in any case he will have to discuss everything with the girl’s parents, and not ask her. The matchmaking ritual necessarily includes a bride price - an offering to the bride's relatives, a kind of ransom. These are usually expensive gifts that show the groom's income level. Previously, a calf or other livestock could be presented as a bride price.

But how the matchmaking goes, you can see in the video of the bride’s matchmaking from the groom’s side:

Pre-wedding signs

To sit on the corner of the table means to remain a wench for seven years (not to marry).
— The four corners close the plane of the table, its isolated space. But to sit on a corner is not to have a corner, because in this case it is outside the person, directed away from him, and does not capture him in the field of its influence.

A guy can’t sit on the doorstep - no one will marry him. - From a mystical point of view, this belief is explained in the same way as others associated with the threshold.

The threshold is a sacred place, symbolizing the separation of worlds. Unbaptized babies were buried under it. It is the border between home and the outside world.

For all these reasons, you can neither greet each other across the threshold nor stand on it (the bride is carried over the threshold so that she does not step on it).

If you sweep someone with a broom, you will remain single forever (you will not get married). — The belief is associated with several symbols: a circle, a broom, garbage.

The broom symbolizes the strength of the house (all the rods are tied together) and drives away evil spirits. But if, during sweeping, a circle is closed with it, then the person will remain alone in this symbolic circle.

They also believed that the souls of the dead could find refuge in household trash. When sweeping a person, they leave him with some of the unswept garbage, all around as if betrothed to him forever.

Also, a broom was often used when telling fortunes about the groom.

Before the wedding, the bride and groom need to stick pins into their clothes. - This is done so that a sorcerer or simply an envious person does not put the evil eye on the young.

The ceremony of matchmaking of the bride by the groom among Russians

I noticed that this topic is of interest to many. After all, you want to make matchmaking interesting and, if possible, bring it closer to the traditions of your people. Most often, people are concerned with questions: how the bride’s matchmaking goes, the groom’s matchmaking scenario. As a rule, you will not become interested in this issue until it affects you personally.

Such a time has come in my life. Just a week ago we married a wonderful girl, now she is my bride. We are planning a wedding for mid-summer, but that’s not what we’re talking about now. I want to tell you how we conducted the matchmaking, as well as something else that I managed to learn while preparing for this important event. We worked out the matchmaking scenario ourselves, from the information that we managed to collect bit by bit. It turned out interesting and fun, although a little exciting. This day will be remembered for a long time.

The custom of matchmaking before and now

I would like to note right away that there is no strict instruction or matchmaking script that must be followed. The thing is that earlier, in each individual village, matchmaking was carried out a little differently than in neighboring ones. Also today, everyone’s matchmaking turns out to be special, this gives it a certain zest. Therefore, relax. Just take note of everything that seems interesting to you.

Customs from the groom's side

The man's trusted representatives were required to demonstrate by appearance and reinforce with words his reliability and dignity. This was done (and is still customary today) very simply. It is necessary to dress beautifully, even richly, if you are going to matchmaking. Customs on the part of the groom include gifts to the bride's relatives. Nowadays people limit themselves to bouquets and sweets. In principle, this is much better than presenting expensive, unnecessary things. So, when you go to “get” the bride, be sure to buy two bouquets. One is for the mother, the second is for the girl. They don't have to be the same. It is customary to give white flowers to young women. And her parent is of a different color. For example, burgundy will show respect. A bouquet made up of different flowers will show that you appreciate the versatility of her personality. Just don't mix it up or overdo it. The girl should remain the center of attention. You’re not going to an anniversary, but to a bride’s matchmaking ceremony. Customs dictate that you should not engage in conversation when walking towards her house. This is considered a bad omen.

How modern matchmaking can take place on the part of the groom

How to choose the day and time for the bride's matchmaking

On fast days (Wednesday and Friday), as well as on Maslenitsa, matchmaking is not accepted. Numbers containing 3, 5, 7, 9 are considered favorable days for matchmaking; they bring good luck and happiness. The exception is 13, although in my life there are many good things associated with this number. Everything depends on our perception.

Previously, in order to avoid the evil eye, people tried to come to matchmaking after sunset. On the other hand, you need to start doing good deeds in the morning, and there are other amulets against the evil eye. In our case, the matchmaking began closer to lunch, time flew by unnoticed until late in the evening. And if you consider that you still need to eat the loaf, then it’s better to have plenty of time.

On the matchmaking day, relatives and guests from the groom’s side come to the bride’s house, where the bride’s parents set the festive table. To have time to prepare, it is advisable to notify all participants several days in advance.

What do they give to the bride, her parents and relatives for matchmaking?

The most expensive gift, if we talk about material values, is the ring that the groom gives to his chosen one. The groom traditionally gives flowers to the bride and his future mother-in-law. You can also give flowers to the bride's grandmothers, aunts and sisters on this day.

In addition, it is not customary to give expensive gifts on this day. You can limit yourself to fruits and sweets, as well as some other attributes that fit well into the scenario of modern matchmaking. It is considered a good custom when the groom's parents come to the bride's house with a loaf of bread.

Matchmaking ring, what it should be

A prerequisite is that the ring must have a stone. What kind of stone will be in your case is up to you to decide. It is well known that minerals have special energy, wearing a ring every day will definitely bring changes to your life.

Therefore, if you have not asked this question before, be sure to study which stones are well suited to your bride’s horoscope. There is conflicting information on the Internet, be careful.

It should be noted that diamonds - stones of all stones - are suitable for absolutely everyone, and if you choose a ring with a diamond, you can’t go wrong, especially since the girl will be very pleased. In any case, it is desirable that the stone is light and not very bulky.

After the groom confesses his feelings at the matchmaking ceremony, he gives the bride a ring. If she agrees, he places the ring on the ring finger of the bride’s right hand. From this day on, the girl wears the ring every day until the wedding. This ring is of great importance for a woman; she carefully keeps it and passes it on to her daughter or granddaughter.

Matchmaking scenario from the groom in general terms

Now I’ll tell you about the sequence of actions and some customs on the day of matchmaking.

In my case, my parents were the matchmaker and matchmaker. Until the matchmaking takes place, you cannot tell anyone about it. The next day, please, and until then, remain silent.

Previously, before going to matchmaking, there was such a ritual - to sit the matchmaker and the matchmaker on a chair, all of whose legs were tied with a sash.

Before going to visit the bride, in the groom's house all the pokers and grips are tied together, this will bring good luck in the business. If someone remains in the groom’s house, then at the moment when the matchmakers leave, a shoe or slipper worn to holes is thrown at their back in a comic manner. Be careful not to hurt each other!

Along the way, matchmakers should not meet or talk to anyone. If curious passers-by ask, you cannot answer. When they approach the house, they slam the front door three times, only after that they enter. The future groom holds flowers, the matchmaker comes in with a loaf, which she holds on a towel, the matchmaker comes in with gifts.

The bride's parents ask who they are and why they came. The matchmakers start the conversation from afar. They often say “you have a product, we have a merchant,” and they ask you to come in and tell us about everything. You can find words and texts that can be spoken on other sites, I will give some good links below. Also watch the video below, there is a lot of interesting stuff there.

Then the matchmakers begin to praise the young man and ask to see the girl. If desired, instead of the bride, they can initially show other women, both girls, girlfriends and grandmothers. In this case, the groom needs to give them gifts and demand to show the one he is looking for. Finally, the bride is shown. Her parents begin to up the price, praising her in every possible way.

The groom's parents have the right to check the bride, ask her to complete certain tasks, and ask her riddles. In our case, there was no need to check the bride; everyone already knew how smart she was. When the girl is shown in all her glory, the matchmakers and the groom must decide whether they like this “product.”

The mother of the bride, if they like the groom, offers him a glass of drink (water with honey, compote, etc.). If the groom drinks to the bottom, it means they also liked the bride.

After this, the groom asks the bride's parents for the hand of his beloved. If the parents agree, the bride's father places his daughter's right hand in the hand of his future son-in-law. Finally, the groom now proposes and gives a ring as a sign of his love. If a girl accepts the ring, then she agrees. From this moment, after the consent of the parents, the newlyweds are called the bride and groom.

What to prepare for the ceremony

To make matchmaking fun and relaxed, you need to prepare for it in advance. All the little things should be taken into account: think in advance what to say, what to buy, gifts, how to entertain the bride’s family.

Gift for the bride

The most important matchmaking gift for a bride is most often an engagement ring. It directly speaks of the man’s serious intentions. If the girl agrees to get married, she can wear the given ring until the wedding in the same place as her engagement ring - on the ring finger of her right hand.

On the day of marriage, the groom will put a wedding ring on this finger, and the engagement ring will remain a beautiful decoration in memory of romantic events. The ring given for matchmaking must be gold. It may also contain a gemstone.

Celebration program

Matchmaking, most often, remains a family event, to which a host is rarely invited. But an approximate scenario should still be thought through.

First, the official part is performed, all those present introduce themselves to each other. When the “business” negotiations are completed and it becomes clear that the girl’s parents are not against it, you can relax. It's time for songs and toasts.

It is a long-standing tradition to bring a loaf of bread to matchmaking. If a girl takes it in her hands, breaks it, and treats it to her parents and the groom’s parents, this will wordlessly signify her consent.

Jokes, songs, competitions

The entertainment part of the event is of great importance. Cool ditties, for example:

"Along from our gates

The path winds,

The best girl in the village

The guy gets it."

Russian folk songs, known to the overwhelming majority of the entire Russian population, are often sung at the table.

Witty jokes are primarily the task of matchmakers. You can often hear these words:

neither go around nor go around the betrothed mummer;
a single man is like half a man;
It's better to get married than to drag yourself around alone.

All of these are humorous sayings that fit perfectly into the informal part of the script. Competitions can be anything, suitable for other holidays. The main thing is to create an atmosphere of fun.

Toasts and groom's speech

At the matchmaking ceremony, the following toasts are made at the table:

Let's drink to the health of young and future children!
Our toast to an unexpected engagement with a happy ending!
Let laughter never stop in your home!
Let's wait for the magnificent wedding, but for now let's drink to the brave groom and the modest bride!
Congratulations on the important decision to link your destinies, bittersweet!

At the end of the matchmaking, everyone congratulates the newlyweds, and the groom makes a final speech of gratitude. First of all, he should thank the chosen one’s parents for the warm welcome and say a few pleasant words to everyone.

The groom also promises to take care of his beloved and make her life happy.

Holiday treats

The matchmaking ceremony is never complete without a festive feast. The bride's family should prepare various treats. Let it be a festive table, familiar to this family.

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Wedding outfits for everyone present: tips for choosing, taking into account the nuances

Here's what you can prepare:

cold snacks;
cheese and sausage slices;
hot: fish, red meat or poultry;
garnish;
pies;
various pickles and pickled vegetables.

The table must be beautifully set, using the best dishes and cutlery. It is traditionally accepted that the future bride prepares the treats herself to show the matchmakers her culinary skills. But her mother and other older relatives can help her. The bride should also be responsible for changing dishes at the table.

The groom's side can and should participate in preparing for the feast. You can bring cake, sweets and fruits with you. Alcoholic drinks may be present on the table, but in moderation. The groom should be very careful in drinking alcohol.

How does bride matchmaking work nowadays?

At all times, marriage was considered a sacred union of two young hearts. And if earlier marriage was a kind of necessity, now it is an exclusively voluntary and desirable matter on each side.

Not a single wedding in Rus' was complete without a number of traditions and customs. Currently, many of them have sunk into oblivion, but, for example, matchmaking of a bride, has a place in the modern world. The Svadebka.ws portal will lift the curtain on the secrets of how the matchmaking ceremony takes place and tell you how to match a bride these days.

Who should come?

Since this is no longer a critically important tradition, the composition of the “Delegation” is not so important. If the groom lives far from his family or does not maintain relations with them, he can come alone. Matchmaking is a tribute to the bride's parents.

But ideally, both the son and the parents should come. If there are close brothers and sisters in the family, then you can also invite them. The same goes for grandparents and both parties.

In the modern world, it is not uncommon for a future husband and wife to invite a guy and a girl who will be witnesses at the wedding to matchmaking. More often than not, these are all close friends who already know their parents. If not, then it is important that they get to know each other, because they will celebrate together.

How to get married correctly: advice to the groom

The main rule of modern matchmaking is a pre-agreed and planned date. It is unlikely that the bride's parents will be happy with unexpected guests.

The ancestors believed that the date of matchmaking should be chosen especially carefully, because it would help the newlyweds in their future married life. So, for example, it was strictly forbidden to get married on the thirteenth; the best numbers for the ceremony were considered 3, 5, 7, 9. In turn, ancestors advise choosing Tuesday or Thursday, as well as weekends, for matchmaking.

During the ceremony, it is the groom who is the center of attention. In order not to lose face, the future spouse should prepare in advance and find out how modern matchmaking works. You can always check with the bride or the older generation about the specifics of traditions.

What is required from the groom:

Choose matchmakers. The main task of matchmakers is to praise the groom, his merits and positive aspects. Therefore, matchmakers must be “easy-going”, sociable and open. You can take on this role as close friends, as well as godparents and close relatives. If possible, choose people as matchmakers who have already had experience and know exactly how matchmaking works;

Matchmaking is an important part of preparing for a wedding. At this stage, the newlyweds receive their parents' blessing for marriage, and families get to know each other better and get to know each other better. Therefore, it is so important to know how to properly match a bride, so that at the most crucial moment you do not get confused and steadfastly withstand all the “tests” of future relatives.

Bad wedding omens

A few words about what sad wedding omens exist. For a bride to look in the mirror in her wedding dress, it means minor troubles.

Knitting any clothes for your lover before the wedding is a sign of betrayal and separation. Losing a wedding ring means an unhappy fate. For a husband to sleep a lot before the wedding - to sleep with his crooked-eyed wife.

The bride or groom should not allow girlfriends or friends to stand in front of the mirror before themselves. The bride or groom will be taken away accordingly.

Crossing the path of the bride and groom means trouble and a quarrel between the spouses. Giving a photo before the wedding means separation.

Washing the threshold in the house after the bride leaves means that the bride will soon return to her parents.

Losing a wedding ring means divorce, separation. The bride should not sew her own dress - this means a short marriage.

At a wedding, the bride should wear a dress, and not a jacket with a skirt - to lead to a separate life.

Matchmaking rules for the bride

Not only the groom’s side, but also the bride’s relatives need to know how modern matchmaking is carried out. After all, both parties must make a good impression on each other, regardless of who pays for the wedding.

Since ancient times, there has been such a tradition as a dowry for the bride. Modern parents also try to prepare their daughter for a future married life, especially if the young couple will live in the house of the groom’s parents or completely separately.

Modern bride's trousseau:

Appliances;
Bed dress;
Dishes;
Kitchenware;
Tablecloth and napkins;
Furniture.

The dowry depends solely on the financial capabilities of the parents, as well as their desire to help the future family.

It is customary for the dowry to be displayed to matchmakers and guests. This is how the bride’s side demonstrates that the daughter is not entering the new family empty-handed.

In addition to the dowry, the bride should take care of other aspects. For example, carefully consider the appearance and holiday menu.

Gifts from the bride

Before getting married, not only the groom, but also the bride must prepare presents for the parents of the chosen one. In the old days, the mother-in-law was presented with a red scarf or shawl, and the father-in-law was presented with a piece of linen for a shirt. Currently, such gifts may not come in handy, so it is worth finding out in advance about the tastes and interests of future relatives.

Moreover, on the day of matchmaking, the bride is not obliged to give gifts to the groom. On this day, all attention and sensitivity should be focused on the loved ones close to you.

A modern version of matchmaking

The traditions and customs observed by our ancestors have now lost their relevance. But it never hurts to express your respect to the parents who raised the bride or groom. The foundation of a good relationship with mother-in-law and mother-in-law should be laid before the wedding.

How should the groom behave with the bride's parents?

Even if the newlyweds have already decided everything, it would be useful for the groom to ask his beloved’s hand in marriage from her father and mother. In order for matchmaking to go smoothly and leave only good memories, you should follow simple rules:

You must inform us about your visit in advance. The girl’s parents may need time to prepare for receiving guests. In addition, you need to inform how many people will come to the matchmaking.
It will be useful to find out in advance what traditions exist in the bride’s family. If the matchmakers want to arrange everything in accordance with ancient customs and start a song from the doorstep about the goods and the merchant, at a minimum, the owners need to understand and support them. Otherwise, you should behave according to generally accepted norms of behavior and limit yourself to polite conversation.
Before arriving at the bride's house, it is recommended to buy two bouquets of flowers: one for the girl, the other for her mother. You can bring something to the table. A bottle of champagne and chocolates are quite suitable for this occasion. It is unacceptable to come empty-handed! Of course, no one will make aloud comments to the unlucky groom, but they may well suspect him of tactlessness or stinginess.
If the girl has already given her consent to the marriage, you can present her with a ring. This wonderful moment will surely touch her parents.
It’s not worth staying late at a party, especially if this is the first meeting. All financial details of the wedding preparation can be discussed after. Let this day not be overshadowed by the solution of financial and property issues.

Behavior of the bride with the groom's parents

Before the wedding, many young men introduce their beloved girl to their parents as a bride. Usually, immediately after this, the newlyweds announce their desire to get married. To make a good impression on future relatives, the young beauty is recommended to listen to the following advice:

Even those with an ideal figure should choose a more modest outfit. A skirt that is too short and a deep neckline will be inappropriate. The same goes for makeup. Flashy colors and an abundance of makeup on the face can lead to the formation of the wrong opinion about a girl and her spiritual qualities.
You can present the groom's mother with a bouquet of her favorite flowers. It is better to find out in advance which flowers the future mother-in-law prefers.
It is not recommended for the bride to talk a lot, but she also does not need to be silent all the time. It is enough to answer questions politely and kindly and keep the conversation going. If painful topics are raised, you should try to gently steer the conversation in a different direction.
When saying goodbye, you can invite the groom's parents to your home, offering to choose a time convenient for them.